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Calling or Texting When a Loved one Dies — 24 Comments

  1. I agree with you completely. My husband died two months ago and I just hate it to talk on the phone. I feel so stupid when I start crying. To text and to cry is so much better. Thanks for your article. I hope a lot of people read it and do it.

    (12)
    • May the Lord continue to comfort and strengthen you.

      I get your point William, it is more considerate to text than to call. However, a paying a visit to a grieving family is still the best token of support. During such visits we can identify practical ways to support the bereaved. In several instances in my community, the church had to step in by providing griceries or actually planning fenerals. Emotional or physical needs can sometimes only be met when we do visit the bereaved.

      (7)
  2. Yes!txt messages helps a lot for me,even now I need it..as a cancer victim ... mesaages been my comfort especially the words of God. .. Book of Job brings hope. I'm pretty good then doin things at the rest of my days on earth with God's precious reminders about faithfulness.

    (11)
    • Sorry Chilean. I'll set time to pray for you. May the Lord give you strength in these trying moments! Wish you quick recovery

      (0)
    • Chilean Hartz!
      Will you be made whole?
      Mark 11:24
      Therefore, I say to you, what things so ever you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them.
      Get in the spirit and touch the hem of His garment and be healed!!!
      It is already DONE!!!
      Believe that!!!

      God's text to you:
      "I am" is always in control!

      (1)
  3. I totally agree with you William. Texting rather than phoning relieves the recipient from the burden of responding immediately when it may not be appropriate to do so. It allows time and space to collect one's thoughts. It also offers the option not to respond at all. Having said that, the people l most remember when my beloved mother passed away were those who did more than text or even phone. They just came and sat with me. If l wanted to talk it was ok with them, likewise if l just wanted to be silent it was ok with them. They did the talking instead sharing experiences. I found this a welcome 'distraction' in my grief.

    (16)
  4. Thanks William.

    For me I don't know how to say it.

    When I lost my first kid in 2003 my wife called and informed me. I was in the meeting I cried without telling anyone ,And throw the phone away. in five minutes latter i told them what happen.

    Also the second kid when i lost him i was angry. i didn't want to talk to anyone..

    And whe i lost my mother it was the same..What i know i don't want people hang around me and look like am going through the most bad thing in the world.

    This habit is confusing my wife, When I am in this situation i can say bad words to her, Thanks GOD she is like she gave birth to me, She knows me and how to approach and say her words of comfort .

    May God give us strength to know how to talk in the situation we face.

    (18)
      • This article has opened my understanding as to why I avoided answering phone calls when I lost my son in 2011 and another one October this year. Phone calls drove me emotional because I have to answer questions which make my tears flow and make me cry aloud. Texting is gentle I can cry aloud at the same text back what Im asked feeling comfortable with a feeling that there is a safe divide between me and the one Im texting.

        (1)
  5. It makes sense to me. Sometimes people get emotional when they hear a friend or family member's voice. Or see them in person,because we know that they Care and we can cry on their shoulders. And if we are trying to take care of business it might be best for some people to just text to keep from becoming to emotional.

    (5)
    • I appreciate this information so much. Right now a friend is nursing her terminally ill mother. When I try to call or see her,there seems to be some reluctance but she always responds to my text messages ! I always thought perhaps she didn't want me to see her mother in her present condition or tire her out with a phone call and respected her feelings . But now I understand much better after reading this. Thanks William.

      (1)
  6. Thanks Williams.
    My sister passed away two weeks ago. It was shocking news to me as I sat in my office and sobbed reminiscing the wonderful time we had together. My colleagues came to console and did not say much as they understood my heartbreak. Choked as I conveyed this tragic news to my near and dear ones over the phone or got some calls from someone conveying condolences. Choked even more as my prayer mates called who had kept her in prayers for healing from this not so life threatening sickness.
    I found out that sending out emails, texting or messaging on WhatsApp was much easier as I sat alone, shed tears and received condolences via the same. I could response better and text /message back as how it all happened at such a short period even though her diagnosis reports were not received. How and where the formalities were going to take place. Requesting them to keep the family in prayers for comfort on the loss of a beloved which I would not be able to do so by calling.
    Solicits your prayers as we try to find solace in the Lord with the hope to see her again at the second coming of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Thank you once again and God bless

    (9)
  7. Right Mr Williams, may Lord the best friend bless you! There come sometimes that friends make textos and think they've finished what they've to do, but for me, i suggest that these messages be followed by an visit, it can be more comforting than a text only.

    (2)
  8. May you be comforted, Joao, and Theresa, by knowing that you are being prayed for. Trust that, "... Underneath are the everlasting arms."
    I agree that texting during periods of grief encourages more appropriate communication. Private dialogue can be previewed prior to sending; it can easily be tailored to one's timing or availability; and, exchanges may be stored for future review, if needed.
    Thankfully, texting has made possible theraputic conversation with family and friends, while otherwise feeling isolated (in crowded rooms) in another country.

    (3)
  9. I have never really been a fan of texting, especially during times of grief or loss. It just seems so impersonal to me. However, I have learned from your posts that we all grieve differently, and should be allowed to do so. For those who prefer to receive a text, we should be respectful and comply. However, there are others who prefer to hear someone say \"I am here if you need me\", or have someone sit quietly with them should they need a shoulder to lean/cry on. Whatever the preference, let us remember it is all about the bereaved and not us. Let Christ and only Christ be seen through our interactions at such a difficult time.

    (1)

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