Love – Much More Than A Feeling
In February, the thoughts of many turn to “love” in connection with Valentine’s day. It has become known as a day to share flowers, chocolates, cards, gifts, and loving pleasantries, Quite aside from the day’s questionable history, I ask, do Christians need a day to celebrate love? Isn’t it rather an everyday mandate given to us by Jesus Himself in John 13:35 and Mark 12:30-31?
Long before Christ was born, Israel was instructed in Deuteronomy 6:5 and Leviticus 19:18 to love God supremely and their neighbor as themselves. For more than a thousand years, the Jewish nation would recite the Shema both morning and evening to serve as a reminder of their duty to love God supremely, above anything else. This reminder was designed to keep the hearts of the people focused on the one true God and keep them from self-focus and idolatry in its many manifestations.
The Bible is replete with references to “love,” with Paul’s exhortation in 1 Corinthians 13 perhaps being the most popular. These verses are often recited or referenced in wedding ceremonies. Rather than a checklist of things to accomplish, these attributes are only obtainable through the work of the Holy Spirit. We are naturally self-centered creatures who want to receive love more than we give it, and only through the Holy Spirit can we overcome that tendency. We have been studying about God being love and the many ways he uses to communicate that love, including in discipline, which we might call “tough love.”
It was quite a revelation to me to learn about the different “love languages” as taught by Gary Chapman. To me, it made perfect sense that rarely do both people in a marriage express and experience love in the same way. It really was revolutionary to me to learn that of my spouse, and I suggest you ask your spouse, friend or family member what makes them feel loved. You will probably discover their “love language.” No wonder that, when I would told my wife that I loved her, she would say, “so what!” At first I thought she was being was rude and insulting, until I learned that she primarily experiences love through quality time and acts of service. Meanwhile my primary love languages are words of affirmation, and acts of service. Using my love language which she didn’t understand had failed to communicate love to her.
So let’s think a little more about “love” and how we express it to others, even to God Himself.
Contrary to common understanding, love isn’t primarily a feeling, or emotion. Rather it’s a principle of action. It shapes our behavior.
I’m sure that Jesus didn’t feel like going to Calvary. We see that in his struggle in Gethsemane. (Matthew 26:38-44) I believe that Jesus’ encounter with Elijah and Moses on the mount of transfiguration, as well as His love for humanity, strengthened Him to commit to the Father’s will, in spite of His feelings.
If Jesus had operated out of the feeling or emotion of love, instead of the principle of love, Planet Earth would have been surrendered to Satan. People who believe love to be a feeling or an emotion, will often bail when the going gets tough and the feelings are gone. By contrast, love as a principle of action overrules feelings and fulfills 1 Cor. 13.
In the English language the word love is an umbrella term applied to everything from our pet, pizza, spaghetti, grandma, our parents, siblings, spouse, and children. And love is the word most used in popular spoken English rather than other more precise synonyms..
Even in Koine Greek (the common language of the people in New Testament times) three distinct words were commonly used to cover what we popularly see as “love.” There’s phileo, a brotherly type of love, to describe the love of Jesus for His disciples or for His friend Lazarus. It is used twenty-five times in the New Testament and denotes a friendship or emotional kind of love. Philadelphia is derived from it.
Storge is familial love that we have for our parents, siblings, our children, and other family members. While the word doesn’t occur in the New Testament, the concept does. The negative form of storge, astorgos is used twice. It means “devoid of natural or instinctive affection, without affection.”
Agape, the third Greek term for love, is used 106 times in the New Testament as a noun, and also appears as a verb, agapein, which means “to love.” Some call it the purest, and highest form of love. It is a love that loves with the whole heart, even the unlovable. It is unmerited or undeserved love, even unreciprocated. It is “love” as a principle. I consider it the John 3:16 type of love.
I believe that it is this totally other-centered agape love that prompted Jesus to allow Himself to be crucified on the cross of Calvary for the sake of a world totally undeserving of it.
Every day can be a celebration of love when we remember the Shema of Deuteronomy 6:5, and the words of Jesus in John 13:35 and Mark 12:30-31. God wants and expects us to reciprocate His love back to him and out to a world that is dying for lack of it. Why? Because he first loved us. (1 Jn. 4:19)
Some believe that the Bible teaches that “all you need is love.” No, that was “The Beatles!” What we need is a faith which works by love (agapēs). (Galatians 5:6) We need to learn to speak the language of “love” in our everyday interactions with our family, friends, and even strangers.
Why was it that the multitudes thronged to Jesus? Could it be, because he spoke the language of love to them? I believe so. When the church learns to speak the language of love like Jesus did, then people will beat a path to our doors. They don’t care how much we know, until they know how much we care.
The Pharisees were great debaters and arguers but they were very weak in love. We can win the argument but lose the relationship and the opportunity to lead people into a relationship with Jesus. We can be so “right” that we’re wrong. “Christ’s method alone will give true success in reaching the people. The Saviour mingled with men as one who desired their good. He showed His sympathy for them, ministered to their needs, and won their confidence. Then He bade them, ‘Follow Me.’” (Ellen G. White, The Ministry of Healing, p. 143.) In other words, Jesus spoke the language of love to them. It worked then, and will still work today.
Will we show and share Christ’s love with those in our sphere of influence? Will we love them like Jesus loves? Heaven is counting on us.
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