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Can You Spot Humility or Pride? — 20 Comments

1. Thank you, Inge, for this post.
   When I am reading the verses of pride in the Scriptures, it’s easy to see the pride in others, but in my connection with God, He has me focus on myself to see if what I’m reading defines my character. I can see humility that comes with the Spirit, and I also become aware of the pride in my flesh. As I continue judging my thoughts and action, when pride is seen, I know that only by seeking God can I correct it.

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   • It’s nice to hear from you, Celeste.

     I think only God can root pride out of our lives, and He will do it when we genuinely seek Him.

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2. I am very sorry Inge, about your experience with Dr.I. He seems like a real character, and that was very unfortunate. You also must have an excellent memory to remember all the details of that day, or it must have been very traumatic. In any case, I am sure you have met plenty of people over the years who have validated you and brought you healing from that terrible day. Dr. I must have been very insecure and….Well, I’d better just quit now.

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   • Ah, dear William, you make me realize that I should have anonymized my story. I intended the story to be an illustration of how faulty our judgment likely is. Dr. I. likely had no idea that he was acting out of injured pride. And I had no idea that this saintly man had any pride at all!

     It’s also an illustration of how we can hurt people deeply when we think we are helping. Dr. I. no doubt thought he was delivering a spiritual lesson. He was well respected, and continued to be well respected after the incident.

     He was a good teacher in the classroom. But something shifted in our relationship. I no longer put him on a pedestal but established boundaries that helped me navigate the relationship. For one thing, I knew to be careful to take just enough initiative in my work for him so that he looked good and not so much that he felt threatened.

     Yes, it was traumatic for me, and it probably took me days to recover. (I don’t remember that part.) But I did take it to God, and He helped me see it as a life lesson – not to put confidence in any human. I have learned not to be much affected by either praise or blame. I try to see if there is some way I need to change when I receive criticism, but it doesn’t traumatize me.

     If we make the Kingdom of God first in our lives, He takes care of the rest.

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     • Hi Inge,

       You said, “how easily we can hurt people deeply when we think we’re helping,” and that really stayed with me. It became even clearer when you put it this way: “I knew to take just enough initiative in my work for him so that he looked good—but not so much that he felt threatened.”

       That insight struck me. If a man could feel that way even toward a young student, it speaks volumes about how fragile his self-esteem must have been. It also reminded me of a pastor I once held in very high regard—until I heard consistent accounts from trustworthy sources that revealed a completely different side of him, one I couldn’t reconcile with the image I had.

       So yes, you’re absolutely right—pride is far more subtle than what appears on the surface.

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3. Thanks for sharing. I agree that it’s when we focus on self we get into trouble. We must seek the Spirit to adjust our focus to become more like Christ. Paul had the right attitude to “die daily to self.” Seem to me that if I can spot pride or humility I could be dealing with one or the other myself. These are matters of the heart, and we don’t know someone’s heart, so what we think we “spot” in others may very well be our own battles.

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4. Dear Inge – I appreciate allowing us to learn of your personal encounter with ‘pride’. I agree with you that acts based on ‘pride’ are “heart issues”, and that “we cannot read the heart” of those who unsettle us. May I share my thoughts which helped me deal with and prevent injuries caused by ‘pride’.

   You ask ‘if one can spot humility or pride’. I say ‘yes’, and that it is very important to know how to respond. It is most disconcerting to experience prideful behavior by those considering themselves Christians. Though, I found the most effective response regardless of the person’s spiritual background is the same – quick forgiveness.

   God admonishes us to forgive. It is the only antidote able to prevent and heal wounds left by ‘pride’s’ attack through others – Eph.4:32. Being prepared to ‘forgive’ quickly prevents the enemy’s arrows to lodge themselves in our heart causing secondary injuries to the ‘ego’s’ ability to calibrate our emotional and mental wellbeing – Luke 23:34.
   [In psychology, the ego is the conscious, rational part of the psyche that mediates between primal desires (the id), moral ideals (the superego), and reality. It manages self-awareness, decision-making, and emotional regulation, functioning as the organized “self” that navigates the outside world. (AI overview)]

   I see forgiveness to be the most powerful act of self-renouncing love. The person injuring as well as the recipient of the injury need to release their ‘right to judge/pride’, allowing God through the quick act of ‘forgiveness’ to prevent potential wounds by pride’s destructive path to ‘fester’.

   Is it not ‘pride’ which holds our willingness to ‘forgive’ and ‘accept correction’ captive? God, by the Holy Spirit, empowers our born-again nature to exist in Christ in the state of His Forgiveness. His Grace forgives us – freeing us to do likewise – Matt.18:21-22; Matt.6:9-15; Heb.8:12.

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   • The key point in my post was that I don’t think we are very good at spotting either humility or pride, because pride can put on the dress of humility, and humility can look like pride in a leader in the eyes of an envious observer. Obviously, I didn’t make it clear enough. 😉

     I also don’t think it’s a good idea for us to try to spot pride or humility in others. Because it is a heart issue, it falls in the domain that Jesus asked us to “judge not.” (Matt. 7:1)

     As you can see, I did judge the professor who was afraid that a 17-year-old student wished to take his job. That was the “tell” for me – that he was focused on damage to his position. (An absurd thought, IMO.) Whether it was pride or something else, I still don’t know. But something was off.

     The beautiful thing about forgiveness is that it sets us free, even when the person who gave the offense does not recognize it. Holding on to any kind of resentment imprisons us and allows the offender to have power over us. Taking the matter to God allowed me to forgive and continue to work with this professor for a couple of years. It was good in many ways and taught me some important life lessons.

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5. I was kind of hoping that others might suggest different kinds of “pride” for two reasons.
   1. To discuss which “pride” is sin and which “pride” may actually be a gift from God. (The way I see it, in the English language, “pride” can refer to different mindsets.)
   2. To give us a basis for examining ourselves after seeing which “pride” is sinful and which is not.

   Or maybe you believe all things referenced as “proud” or “pride” are sin?

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   • Inge – you hoped that others might “suggest other types of pride” in response to your post. My April 12th comment, included the Oxford dictionary definition of the word “pride”. It includes synonyms which help with understanding the different shadings/types of pride and was very helpful for me to see the difference between good and destructive types of pride.

     Various interpretations of the word ‘pride’:
     One is: “A feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.”
     Synonyms are: pleasure, joy, delight, gratification, fulfillment.
     Another is: “Consciousness of one’s own dignity.”
     Synonyms are: self-esteem, dignity, honor, self-respect, ego.
     As regarding your experience with the professor:
     It is when ‘pride’ expresses “the quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s importance” that it becomes the spiritual ‘sin of pride’.
     Its synonyms are: arrogance, vanity, self-importance, hubris.

     Based on this dictionary explanation of the word ‘pride’, I learned that not all expressions of ‘pride’ are of the type one can consider to be ‘sinful’. I hope this is helpful to clarify other/different types of pride and furthers the discussion regarding ‘pride’.

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   • Okay, I will take your challenge, Inge. I think #1, 3, and 6 on your list are not sins. However they could lead to sin depending on how we relate to them. For example, can you be proud of a job well done and then look down on others as a result? I think you could. Same with even being proud to be God’s child. If you look down on others who you think aren’t, that’s a problem. But these are heart issues. I don’t think the answer is to say “Never be proud that you did a good job”. If your situation leads you to look down on others, it’s probably good to ask yourself why. I think in those cases, we often don’t have a good sense of God’s love for us and we look for affirmation in other places, often in putting others down. That means we need to turn to God for healing.

     #2, 4 and #5 seem to be more self-centered. I don’t see benefit in them in any way.

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     • Thanks, Christina. So it seems everything depends on the state of our hearts, right?

       As for “No. 6 Pride in being a son or daughter of the King of heaven” …

       Years ago, I knew a woman who shared that when she was young, she used to lie on the ground and look up to the sky, talk to God, and ask Him to “Please make me someone special.”

       She went on to say that God answered that prayer when, after a life of promiscuity, He made her an Adventist!

       It was such a new thought to the young me that I didn’t know what to make of it. But somehow it didn’t sit right. She was very sure of herself and quick to decide on the worth of people …

       I believe we can find security in being sons and daughters of the King of the universe, and we need to feel responsible to represent Him correctly. But somehow, “pride” doesn’t feel quite right in that context.

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       • Well there is Jeremiah 9:23, 24 which talks about boasting in understanding God. Boasting and pride are quite related to each other. So I don’t think that woman was necessarily wrong. But if she started to think ONLY she was special, that’s another matter.

         I feel like being proud to be a child of God can go one of two ways. You can be proud the same way you’re proud to be your parent’s child. I think that is a really good thing, because the focus is on God. But if you’re proud because you’re God’s child and others aren’t, then that’s not good. It also misses the point because being God’s child means wanting to enlarge the family!

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6. We can rejoice in the fact that we are sons and daughters of God, #6.
   We can rejoice in our hearts the fact that we are participating in our church, if only to be a present member, #3.
   We rejoice in the fact of a job well done, #1.
   We can rejoice that we have a connection with the Lord that makes us feel, not boastful, rather for encouragement to others, and we don’t mind saying I am in Christ, in a humble way, #7. Galatians 2:20.

   Rejoicing in the Lord always is the Holy Spirit’s way of helping us say goodbye to pride. Philippians 4:4, 5-6 and then Paul, tells us much of how to rejoice. 🙏.

   It is not pride to Praise God from whom all blessings flow and for healing. Praise to God, and to others is good encouragement to our souls. Psalms 34:1, makes Psalms 34:4,6,17,22 more plausible. And Psalms 34:7 is there for us too.

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   • Ah, thank you for this clarification, John! So it seems we may use the words “proud” or “pride” sometimes when we are simply feeling good/rejoicing about something. (No. 1, 3, 6.)

     On the other hand, if we take credit for ourselves, maybe it is pride, because pride arises from self-focus. It all depends on our focus. And I wonder whether we sometimes have mixed feelings …

     Thank you for adding

     #7. We can rejoice that we have a connection with the Lord that makes us feel, not boastful, rather for encouragement to others, and we don’t mind saying I am in Christ, in a humble way, Galatians 2:20

     Again, the key is our focus. You have suggested a focus on encouraging others. Of course, this may be misunderstood by some, but the Lord knows the heart, and some will be encouraged. And the Lord Jesus specifically revealed to us that His followers overcome “by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony.” (Rev. 12:11) “Word of their testimony” seems to require speaking or writing.

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7. I sometimes think that pride, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. I see nothing wrong with taking satisfaction in a job well done. God did it after Creation (Genesis 1:21,25,31) He admired the works of Creation as good, good, very good. However I don’t see him strutting around saying “there is no one like me.” The problem comes if we want to puff ourselves up in that satisfaction to make ourselves appear better than another. It always sounds better when someone else “toots our horn” rather than when we do it ourselves. Yet we can become so needy of affirmation that we are always seeking it for the wrong reasons, to satisfy our own ego, or to elevate ourselves in the eyes of others. However, there is nothing wrong with graciously receiving a compliment from others on a job well done. When that becomes the reason that we do it then we probably have a hidden pride or insecurity problem. In fact, I believe that insecurity is often the basis of pride. The issue that we must be cautious of even while commenting here on this forum is of pride of opinion. Strutting around and displaying our spiritual plummage like a peacock as we pontificate why our intelligence, idea, or viewpoint is superior to others.

   We don’t do good works to get God to notice and love us, but because he loves us, and created us for them. I want to hear well done as much as the next person, yet I remain open to suggestion of improvement or constructive criticism, if you prefer. How we respond to those moments will reveal our motivation in our doing a job well.

   A couple verses come to mind, James 4:6 and 1 Peter 5:5. I claim Philippians 4:13 often when I get stuck or am faced with a daunting task. For me this isn’t pride but dependence and a shifting of the glory to the One who made it happen. When God is given the “glory” of our accomplishments He shares with us His joy. I do, and believe that we all do live to at last hear Him say, “well done good and faithful servant…enter into the joy of the Lord.” Matthew 25:23

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8. Thanks Inge for your reflection. I totally agree with your conclusive point “We probably should not be looking for humility or for pride in others, because I believe these are symptoms of something deeper. They are heart issues, and we cannot read the heart.”

   So #1, #3, #6 as already pointed out it can either be negative and self seeking or positive in which alternative words would be just as appropriate eg #1 – satisfaction. #3 happiness and pleasure. #6 – deep thrilling joy

   Take no glory whatever to yourself. Do not work with a divided mind, trying to serve God and self at the same time. Keep self out of sight… Your only safety is in entire dependence upon Christ.—The Review and Herald, May 11, 1897.

   We need to keep a reality check on self according to ‘ 2 Corinthians 13:5
   Examine ourselves, whether we be in the faith; prove our own selves. Know our own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in us, except we be reprobates.

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9. I have query based on the following quotation
   We need to shun everything that would encourage pride and self-sufficiency; therefore we should beware of giving or receiving flattery or praise. It is Satan’s work to flatter. He deals in flattery as well as in accusing and condemnation. Thus he seeks to work the ruin of the soul. Those who give praise to men are used by Satan as his agents. Let the workers for Christ direct every word of praise away from themselves. Let self be put out of sight. Christ alone is to be exalted. [Christ’s Object Lessons p161]

   Does that mean we should not commend or show appreciation to a person for work well done? Something said or done that has really blessed and
   uplifted us? Do we ignore the labours and efforts of others in our communities? We do not know whether it will make them proud or whether it will encourage them.

   Apostle Paul often commended his fellow workers by name often citing their works. How can we uplift, encourage and commend each other without ‘encouraging pride and self sufficiency’

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   • Thanks for your comments, Marcia!

     As you already pointed out, Paul often commended his fellow workers, and I believe we can safely follow his example.

     I think it’s a matter of how the commendation is given. Does it lift up the *person,* or does it show appreciation for the work done? We might even say something like, “I praise God that He used you to … ”

     “You’re such a great preacher!” and “That was the best sermon I ever heard!” are both likely to have a negative effect. The first focuses directly on the person, the second invites comparison in the receiver, thinking “I am a better preacher than … ” Or the sermon might actually have needed some improvement, but the preacher would not accept suggestions, because, after all, it was “the best sermone someone ever heard.”

     In showing appreciation for a sermon, I believe it is best to be specific, as in “XXX really spoke to me/uplifted me …” That way the credit goes back to the content inspired by the Holy Spirit.

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10. Thank you that was helpful.

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