Friday: Further Thought ~ Husbands and Wives: Together at the Cross
Further Thought:
Ellen G. White, “Responsibilities of Married Life,” Testimonies for the Church, vol. 7, Pages 45-50, and “Mutual Obligations,” The Adventist Home, Pages 114-120.
Image © Stan Myers from GoodSalt.com
Ellen G. White consistently urges marriage partners to turn away from efforts to control the other: “Do not try to compel each other to yield to your wishes. You cannot do this and retain each other’s love. Be kind, patient, and forbearing, considerate, and courteous.” — The Adventist Home, p. 118.
She comments directly on the interpretation and application of Colossians 3:18 (and Ephesians 5:22-24): “The question is often asked, ‘Shall a wife have no will of her own?’ The Bible plainly states that the husband is the head of the family. ‘Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands.’ If this injunction ended here, we might say that the position of the wife is not an enviable one … . Many husbands stop at the words, ‘Wives, submit yourselves,’ but we will read the conclusion of the same injunction, which is, ‘As it is fit in the Lord’ [Colossians 3:18]. God requires that the wife shall keep the fear and glory of God ever before her. Entire submission is to be made only to the Lord Jesus Christ, who has purchased her as His own child by the infinite price of His life … . There is One who stands higher than the husband to the wife; it is her Redeemer, and her submission to her husband is to be rendered as God has directed — ‘as it is fit in the Lord.’” — The Adventist Home, Pages 115, 116.
Discussion Questions:
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I have worked under a number of school principals during my years as a high school teacher. (Fortunately, I recognised fairly early on in my career that administration was not my thing. I can solve maths and computer problems - not people problems) Nearly all of the those principals are dead now so I can tell you about them without them reading my comments. Some of them were very dictatorial. You did what they said, or else. Others were much more collaborative and would listen to what you had to say before making a decision. They would even let me make my own decisions at times.
Of all the headmasters I served under, the one that I appreciated the most was the person who would not expect you do anything that he would not do himself. He was a genuine servant-leader, quiet, unassuming, and a good listener, his office door was always open. His school was our school. He did not tell us that his role was headmaster and he was the boss.
One of the issues that we have addressed this week is the role of husband and wife in a marriage. The problem is that we sometimes get stuck on the roles when really the whole passage is about a loving and caring relationship. If in our marriages, we are always coming up against the role issue, it is probably time to think more about the servant-leader role.
When Jesus came to this earth he did not contrast his role with ours. He lived as the servant-leader and paid the ultimate sacrifice.
Being the leader is not about being the boss. Rather, it is about showing a better way. And that is role we should all be involved in.
I thank God for this week's lesson on husband and wife relationship. The bible is also very clear on what God expects from that relationship which also conforms with my traditional way of life. The way Israelites lived before is still the same today.
In some societies people's li style changes and they Inteprate the bible line with the way they are more comfortable with, or in line with thier interest, but not God's.
May God help us to accept what He had said through Paul and other disciples and Jesus Himself.
That's the secret of Love! In "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Eph. 5:33), Paul quotes Jesus saying, "to love your neighbor as thyself." Then, the first duty is to have a genuine love for self because that's where it all starts. Learning about faithful Love is necessary to love oneself and others honestly. Nothing is above God's faithful Love for us; nobody will ever demonstrate more Love for someone than Jesus on the cross! Let us learn from Him!
Our marriage experience of 46 years has shown how important it is to share in the decision-making process for major and not so major projects. We come from different cultures and different races. I agreed to live in an unfamiliar country which he prefered to live in because it provided more opportunities then the country I lived in.
Our relationship still matures as each difficulty finds us better prepared. Working together for the welfare of our family brought to light many obstacles needing to be overcome. We work best together when everything, as many details and perceived causes and effects are laid out and considered in light of the desired outcome. After this, tasks are assigned for both to work in unison to achieve the agreed upon goal. Everyone puts in 100%.
To be faithful when applying the Will of God is paramount. This is not a tandem effort, this is pulling the load harnessed next to each other, committed to putting in the same effort toward achieving the desired outcome.
Can you imagine what would happen should one horse put in less effort when pulling the load to reach the destination? The cart would loose direction, the 'leading' horse would eventually become exhausted and the cart would get stuck in the mud.
Instead of making progress, it needs to be dug out which again requires co-effort. Sometimes it can be brought back on the road, sometimes it is stuck so badly that it is left behind and the horses go each on their own way. What happens to the cargo then?
Accepting council from our heavenly Father through the Holy Spirit provides the stability in the family's decision making process. The cart will stay on the road as the foundation of the homelife of the family is being based on the 'neutral' Wisdom provided by our heavenly Father – Matt.7:24-27.
God’s Wisdom never ceases to undergird/strengthen the wellbeing of His Creation. Husband’s and wife’s understanding of their relationship is greatly enhanced, their love and commitment to each other deepened as both rely on their Maker's faithfulness to do right by them.
What a blessing to be called to follow the Son’s revealed words of His Father – what can stand against them? John 5:18-24.