I Used to be a People Person but People Ruined It For Me
As this week’s Sabbath school lesson focuses on Living with Each Other, I am reminded how isolated our world is becoming. A couple of summers ago, I was in New York City riding the subways. On the subways, passengers mind their own business. Strangers don’t strike up conversations with other strangers. I get it. There is stranger danger even among adults. Plus, many of us are used to the privacy of our own cars, and I am sure many subway passengers desire the same privacy after a full day’s work.
At the same time, I could not help thinking about all the things two strangers sitting right next to each other may have in common, if one of them would just speak up. It breaks my heart to think of all the wonderful friendships that will never be, simply because of the code of silence on the subway. And yes, I say that knowing full well the potential for danger. God did not create us to stay home, wrapped in bubble wrap.
I am also reminded how isolated our world is becoming, when internet research affirms my observations that there is a marked rise in people seeking jobs where they don’t have to work with other people. I have heard people repeat the phrase, “I used to be a people person, but people ruined it for me.” And yes, this has carried over into the way we do church. Many have abandoned the church building to have church in smaller circles and private homes. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with home churches within themselves. They are very Biblical, and I support those who have churches in their homes. But what concerns me is when isolation is the primary motivation. And here is why.
Goodsalt image by Lars Justinen
The whole purpose of the church and being a disciple is to reflect the character of God. The Heavenly Trio is a community. Each one preferring the Other over self.
Friends, God is community. God is social. We cannot reflect the character of God, which is community, while we are isolated. No wonder Satan wants to isolate us. He wants to keep us from being a community that reflects God’s character of love. There is a passage from Christ Object Lessons that I feel has been misunderstood by the Adventist community.
Christ is waiting with longing desire for the manifestation of Himself in His church. When the character of Christ shall be perfectly reproduced in His people, then He will come to claim them as His own.-Ellen White, Christ Object Lessons, Page 69.
Many take this passage to be teaching individual perfection, which, once attained, earns eternal life. While I fully believe that the Holy Spirit can help each one of us to be like Christ, I interpret this passage differently. God does not want His church to be perfect so they can earn their way to heaven. He wants His church to reflect the perfect character of God, so the world can see the goodness of God that will lead them to repentance and be ready for His soon coming. See 2 Peter 3:9 and Romans 2:4.
In other words, God wants the church to give Him and His character proper representation while the world is judging His character. Our characters are not perfected in isolation. We are perfected as a church family. God is a community, and it is only as a community of faith that we can reflect His image. It is together that we reflect the character of God. Where I am weak, you are strong and vice versa. God rebuked Elijah for running away from the 7000 who never bowed the knee to Baal, because Elijah needed a church family in order to reflect God’s character to the world. This is why Satan wanted Elijah to isolate himself. It is only as a community that forgives and loves unconditionally that we can reflect the character of the Heavenly Trio.
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:12-14 NLT
Paul tells us in this passage how to perfect holiness, and it cannot be done in isolation. It may sound like an Adventist paradox, but Paul also tells us the only way to be perfect is to make allowences for each other’s faults. I recently read the book of Job, and while there is a lot I learned about relationships, for the sake of space and time, let me leave you with this thought: While Job’s friends caused him more pain than peace, Job and his friends all needed each other to perfect their characters as individuals and as a community. Job did not need to get away from his friends, even though I am sure he would have preferred isolation. What Job needed to do was pray for his friends. Let’s look at what happened when he did.
When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before! Job 42:10 NLT
Job prospered, not in isolation, but in reconciliation with God and community. Likewise, the church and its members will never find perfection in isolation. Satan is doing all he can to isolate us because he knows it is only as a community that we can be perfected and reflect the image of the Heavenly Trio. We keep Satan from winning by making allowances for each other’s faults, and showing each other the unconditional love of God.
When you get that feeling, I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me, remember, isolation is not the answer. Prayer and reconcilation is the answer.
