Sabbath: When Alone
Image © Pacific Press
Read for This Week’s Study: Eccles. 4:9-12, Phil. 4:11-13, 1 Cor. 7:25-34, Matt. 19:8, Gen. 37:34, Isa. 54:5.
Memory Text: “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Genesis 2:18, NKJV).
A fascinating yet painful story made the news years ago. A young woman had been found dead in her apartment. Though the death was tragic itself, what made the story worse was that the woman had been dead for more than 10 years before being found. Ten years! Thus, the question that people had asked, and rightly so, was: How in a big city like this, with so many people, and with so many means of communication, could a woman, who was not a street person, have been dead for so long and no one know?
Though extreme, this story is an example of a reality: many people are suffering from loneliness. In 2016, The New York Times ran an article entitled, “Researchers Confront an Epidemic of Loneliness”. The problem is real.
From the start, we as human beings were not meant to be alone. From Eden onward, we were to live in fellowship with other human beings to some degree or another. Of course, sin came in, and nothing has been right since then. This week we will look at the question of companionship and loneliness at the various times of life that, perhaps, all of us have at some time faced. If not, then count yourself fortunate.
Study this week’s lesson to prepare for Sabbath, April 27.
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The authors of the lessons should be praised for tackling the difficult issue of "aloneness" and "loneliness". Some of you have jumped the gun and raised the issue when we were talking about marriage, so now is the time to discuss the issue in full.
This subject is one that is close to my own heart as I have an introvert son who is a brilliant mathematician. He suffers from social anxiety and left the church primarily because he could not face interacting with people in a social setting. In a work situation where everyone is talking in the familiar territory of mathematical algorithms, he is fine. I too tend to be shy and avoid social situations. I find it difficult to make small talk with people who I have very little in common. Fortunately, for me, I married a very social wife who drags me kicking and screaming into social situations and who is smart enough to ensure that I am included in conversations.
There are two aspects to this issue:
1) Being happy with aloneness. I don't have a problem being alone. I am a bird photographer and spend hours each day alone in the bush (Australian for forest) standing quietly watching little birds as they go about their daily lives.
2) Being genuinely inclusive of those who are lonely. There are many people who lonely for a variety of reasons. Death of a partner, marriage breakups, choice, aging, social anxiety and so on, often force people to be lonely. Understanding how to be inclusive without being patronizing is a genuine talent and one that needs to be cultivated.
It all comes back to that fundamental principle:
I look forward to hearing your stories this week; both the pain and the opportunities. We will come to understand the issues by sharing one another's burdens and opportunities.
I live alone but am not lonely,in fact I often choose to be at home and read rather than go to a social gathering.
I believe it is better to be on my own than be in an unhappy relationship.
In Matthew 28:20, Jesus the savior of the world promised that He would be with us always until the end of time. Jesus made this promise to the disciples because He realized they were scared and confused and needed comfort in their moment of uncertainty, thus He set out to assure them that neither death, nor life, angels, or principalities, powers and wickedness can keep them from His love...
This amazing promise provided comfort for the disciples and energized them to push forth the Christian movement and spread the good news of the gospel. This promise provided them with the strength they would need to overcome adversity, face wicked men, and triumph over difficulties for the sake of the Gospel. The promise provided them with the hope that they will see the Master again...
I have no peace no quietness, I have no rest,but only turmoil. I loath my very life.
Terror overwhelms me, my life ebbs away, days of suffering grip me. Night pierces my bones, my gnawing pains never rest.
I have had enough Lord. Take my life I am not better than my ancestors.
Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb.
Cursed be the day I was born. Why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame ?
Now,take my life, for it is better for me to die than to live. I am angry enough to die. Blot me out of the book you have written.
....from lonely characters in the bible.
Cyrus,
As I re-read Job recently I was comforted with a different perspective than I had had before. In past Jobs' comments had been discouraging for me, but this time through it struck me that when I'm feeling dark and depressed, I am not alone...that heroes of the Bible like Job and David also had dark and discouraging seasons...and that God was with them through those times even if they couldn't feel him then, and that he is with me even when I am low and not be able to feel him. Another thing that struck me this time through was how I can do a better job comforting those I care about when they are low...being more like Jobs friends when they were just with him in silence and less like them when they were offering unhelpful advice. Rom 12:15b comes to mind. Thanks for sharing.
I don't understand how you can feel this way when God has given us such a beautiful world to live in. If your world is ugly you need to change your surroundings. Change jobs, find a new place to live, make an attitude adjustment, seek therapy, whatever it takes. God loves us and wants us to be happy. Maurice how do you post your picture?
I use gravitar.com. You upload pictures you want to use to represent you and they are automatically used on participating websites.
Thanks Maurice
Sylvia
If your response was to Cyrus I interpreted his entry as a comments by various people in the Bible. Not that he was saying his life was like that.
Blessings
Hi Sylvia, some folks are in similar situations as those described above by Cyrus, (or worse), for reasons beyond their control.That is also despite the fact that God has given us a beautiful world to live in. Life happens and sin has marred creation in such a way that for some, happiness is only a dream. What I do know though is that whatever the situation may be, God is right there with us. We need only to see Him there and trust Him.
Thank you Maurice for that insightful piece...
“Now, take my life, for it is better for me to die than to live. I am angry enough to die. Blot me out of the book you have written.” Major depression! Maybe fostered by loneliness, maybe acquired by loss of loved one’s. Maybe there was failure. Whatever it is time to turn to the Lord in a big way. Set the Lord continually before you; because He is at your right hand, you will not be moved into despair. Rather your heart will be glad and your glory [your inner self] will rejoice; your body too shall rest and confidently dwell in peace. The Lord will show you the path of life; in His presence is fullness of joy, at His right hand there are pleasures forevermore.
Those were the words of Jonah talking to the Lord. (Jonah 4:3)
Sometimes things are not as simple as we like think.
The lesson recalls that “a young woman had been found dead in her apartment“ and that this ”woman had been dead for more than 10 years before being found.” But no details have been included with this reference. Can anyone verify or corroborate this event?
The only instance like this that I am aware of is the case of Joyce Carol Vincent whose body was found after being dead for three years. Is this the death that the authors are referring to or is there another episode like it?
Mikal, sadly there are several stories like this ranging up to even 42 years! Sadly these are not isolated cases.
This seems quite peculiar to me b/c even if the person owned their domicile, eventually the tax people would sell the property for back taxes.
Also most people owe some business if only the utility companies. Mail would pile up, weeds would be 6' high etc etc.
You are right. Sure seems that way. Maybe if we read more into the stories we would understand. The point is still that we need to check on people more.
What a topic. 'When Alone'
I am getting lots of encouragement from the comments. I need the Prayer of those I love.
Thank you all for sharing.
The preceding comments on this practical life situation lesson study are so powerful and so encouraging that we should invite every person around us to the lesson study.
The song writer of "Does Jesus Care" sums it up so well in his lyrics.
No matter the cause for our "aloneness" and "loneliness" the creator of mankind is awake to our situations.
Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth and song;
As the burdens press, and the cares distress,
And the way grows weary and long?
Refrain
O yes, He cares--- I know He cares!
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary,
The long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares. (He cares.)
2
Does Jesus care when my way is dark
With a nameless dread and fear?
As the daylight fades into deep night shades,
Does He care enough to be near?
3
Does Jesus care when I’ve said goodbye
To the dearest on earth to me,
And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks ¬
Is it ought to Him? Does He see?
We all talk about the story of Job
Okay it's a good lesson to hold on to God
but how can we encourage families that their story didn't end like Job (they lost it )