Sunday: Childless Parenting
Read Genesis 18:11, Genesis 30:1, 1 Samuel 1:1-8, and Luke 1:7. What do these people have in common? How did God answer their longings?
Children are a blessing. But for some reason God doesn’t always bless everyone with children. Some hope and pray for a family, and God graciously grants their request, sometimes quite miraculously, as in the case of Sarah; others just as fervent in their petitions before God’s throne are met by deafening silence.
Loss of Health
Every time they see friends praise God for their pregnancies and when they welcome their babies, it deepens the depth of the wound as they consider their empty nest. Even such innocent questions as “How many children do you have?” serve as painful reminders of an exclusive club that those without children are excluded from, even though they may want to join.
Those who have gone through such an experience should come to accept that God understands their sorrow. The psalmist declares of God, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (Ps. 56:8, NLT). Even though He seems silent, “the LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him” (Ps. 103:13, NLT).
Other people, meanwhile, for various reasons, might choose simply not to have children. One can understand in a world like ours so full of suffering, pain, evil, and potential calamity, why some might decide not to bring more people into it. In some cases, some people might choose to adopt children instead of having their own; that way they can raise children who are already here, often giving them a chance at a much better life than what they might have otherwise had.
Our world is a complicated place, and we are likely to meet all sorts of people in all sorts of situations in regard to having or not having children. In whatever situation we find ourselves regarding the question of children, we can live with the assurance of God’s love for us and His desire for our good end. At the same time, too, let’s always remember to be as sensitive as we can toward people who, for whatever reasons, do not have kids.
| Jesus never had any natural children of His own. What lessons, if any, are there for us in this fact? |
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If I was to give a title to today's lesson it will be "SERVING GOD WHEN CHILDREN DON'T COME"
we have seen an example of Elkanas wive Hannah who she continued serving God despite her situation.God has a special reason why at times some people are childless
Some pray for children however later after being given children the same children mistreat them until they ask God why they even had children...God knows how Balance!
Yes it's true that some children bring a blessing and some children brings a curse
I just wish that people, particularly the people in the Christian church who have been given explicit lessons about the Body of Christ being made of many parts, would broaden their definition of family to include people that sit outside the margins of the nuclear – one man, one woman, and a few children – version. I wish we would see each other as all family – friends, neighbors, grandparents, uncles, widowers, sisters, daughters-in-law – and stop acting like Jesus uttered “Be sure to get married and have kids and love your spouse and your children more than you love anyone else” because he didn’t. He really didn’t.
God wants us all in His Kingdom!!
Hi Josiah, I really like your post; your comments have a lot of merit for all to adhere to.
However, I can truly say, as a childless married woman, that the churches that I have attended has never treated me as "less than" because I do not have children. They have seen by my "fruits (my actions)" that I love children, and they treat me as if I have children. I have always being a worker in the children's ministry in the 3 churches that I had membership in, even before I was married. Most of the children really sincerely love me, and treat me with respect as a nice aunt type figure.
But I do still feel a little awkward on Mother's Day, like I'm not part of the exclusive club. Many years ago, at one of the church that I attended, they make me the "Honorary Mother of the Year", because as they said "I was a mother to all the children of the church". I felt a little better being there on that Mother's Day.
I was not able to give birth because it was too risky to my own health. However, I do have to admit that I was very angry with God for awhile because of this. But I now accept that God knows what is best, and his plan was right the whole family, not just me. What if I had a child and lost my life, would my husband be equip to handle the child without me? These are questions that childless couple or person have to consider; God knows the beginning and the end.
Also, we have to consider that God have a mission for all of us to do for the advancement of His kingdom; some of the individuals in the Bible, God Himself told them not to marry or to have children, such as Jeremiah. Others like our Lord Jesus, marriage and children would have prevented him from being able to go from place to place preach the message that His Father sent him to this earth to give to His lost sheep. Both wives and children are very demanding of time, and to deprive them of that time is not in harmony with God's will. Many wives and children blame their neglectful parents (or spouses) for the way their lives have turned out (this opinion is not one that I share; we all have a choice to do right or to do wrong, no matter what we are deprived of). Jesus, being God, know that He did not want to set a bad example for healthy family living; so, He chose to not have a wife or children, in order to dedicate his entire life to His mission of saving His lost sheep, and to eventually sacrifice His life for all of our sins.
Whether you are a family of one (single), a family of two (married without children), or a family of multi (married with children or single with children), ALL are welcomed into the family of God; all are called by God to enter into fellowship and service with our Lord Jesus. God love you with the same love if you are childless, as He loves the person with children, "For there is no respect of persons [no partiality] with God.-Romans 2:11". So, let us all love one another, and do God's mission, so that Jesus will come soon. Be blessed everyone!
Thanks Toni Keith for sharing. Your testimony is inspiring. God loves us all, with without children. More importantly, we are here for a purpose, to fulfil a part in the mission God has given his church family.
I think there is still another approach. We should remember, that people who don't have kids are just as happy or not happy as people with kids. Not having a child is certainly not the end of the world nor any reason, in many cases, to feel pity for them. Happiness is primarily a choice and if someone feels motivated or inspired to live part of their life and derive part of their happiness through children, there are a multitude of great ways to do that. To quote something I read,..."You don't have to give them birth to give them life." Peace.
Perhaps on His side of God Jesus fell that all humans in the entire planet were His creatures, somewhat like sons and daughters! But His feelings towards His creatures must be so much deeper than 'having a baby of your own'. I do have a daughter and I would die for her (she's only 10 and so cute, rsrsr). But I think that if she were 40 and had done all sorts of evil to the family for 20 years, for example (stole money, gone into drugs, sold her body, all kinds of crazy things), would I still die for her? Would I die for a super bad son or daugther?
Yes, there are a bunch of things that people told me before I became a father like "you will see when you become one!" that only afterwards I understood. We certainly feel the pain when our sons suffer! No matter if biological or adopted. But God's love for us can be even deeper! Who am I to deserve all His sacrifice? What about dying for people that don't even believe that you exist? Even if "a mother rejects you" - the Bible says! Yep, Jesus' love for us is so much bigger than what we can think of! And to deserve His love is impossible! It's just a matter of accepting it! It is free and a available! The only way to reject this inheritance is to consciously deny it! God loves so much that He respects our decisions!
Three years after my husband and I got married I was still childless. I had a daughter when I was young, but now I was 31 and not getting any younger. One day I saw a pregnant woman and I cried out in anguish to God “Why can’t I get pregnant?” That was in the spring, by December my beautiful baby boy arrived. God hears our prayers and answers them. My son is now 34years old. He is a good man, I rely on God’s promise to train up a child and hope he will remember his training. I pray for both my children every day.
Sunday’s section is entitled, “Childless Parenting” -- an expression that at first (at least, to me) seemed to be an oxymoron.
But on second thoughts, a childless person may become a foster parent, and adoptive parent or a parent-figure to others’ children.
In Israel, and among oriental peoples generally, barrenness was a woman's and a family's greatest misfortune.
It seems ironic that while God promised Abraham he would be the father of a great nation, that his wife (Sarah) and the wives of his son (Rebekah) and grandson (Rachel) were all infertile.
Was this a coincidence or was this God’s plan to demonstrate that with Him all things are possible?
Do the stories of these barren women (who were progenitors of Christ) serve a metaphorical purpose pointing to Christ?
Sarah’s son, Isaac, accompanied his father (Abraham) to Mount Moriah to be sacrificed symbolized the sacrifice of God’s only Son, Jesus Christ on Calvary’s cross.
Rebecca’s son, Jacob, became Israel, the father of the nation built upon twelve sons, symbolic of Jesus, the cornerstone of the church built upon twelve apostles.
Rachel’s son, Joseph, was sold into slavery, and became the ruler to free the people from starvation, symbolic of Jesus Christ who went into the slavery of sin in order to free us from our sinful natures, and save us eternally.
God is in love with everyone despite having no child, John 3:16
Reading the Sunday section inspired me to re-look at the definition of a single parenting. Parenting is not only confined to married with children only. We are a family and God can use us to training the children for His kingdom whether we have children or not. I see parenting as a ministry
How can we understand Psalm 127:4,5? Should we have as many children as possible for they are blessing and represent protection?
I've found some of this quarters lesson titles quite odd, like unmarried and childless parenting.
Maybe they wanted to be inclusive and described different situations that should still fall within the concept of family using odd titles.
A single person can still be part of a larger family by blood or caring.
A couple are still a family to each other.
And most of all the church family should include everyone.