Thursday: Another Kind of Comforter
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Cor. 1:3-4, NKJV).
What is Paul telling us here about how our own suffering can help us be more effective in showing sympathy and comfort to those around us? How have you experienced (if you have) the reality of these words in your own life?
Image © Bjorn Thorkelson from GoodSalt.com
The word comfort comes from the Latin com (together, with) plus fortis (strong). As Christ strengthens us in our suffering, we can pass this strength to others. As we have learned from our own sorrows, we can more effectively minister to others in theirs.
Churches generally have members who suffer and members who comfort. This combination can transform your church into a “safe house”-a “city of refuge” (see Numbers 35:1-34) as well as a river of healing (see Ezek. 47:1-12) that flows to the community.
Showing sympathy and comfort is an art. Here are some suggestions:
- Be authentic. Listen more than you speak. Be sure your body language reinforces your attempt to sympathize and comfort.
- Show sympathy out of your individual personality. Some people give sympathy by quietly crying with the troubled person. Others don’t cry but show sympathy by organizing something that is a comfort to the bereaved.
- Being a presence is often more important than speaking or doing.
- Allow people to grieve in their own way.
- Become acquainted with the stages of processing grief that people often go through.
- Be careful about saying “I know how you feel.” Chances are that you don’t.
- There is a place for professional counseling.
- Don’t say “I’ll pray for you” unless you really intend to do so. When possible, pray with, unhurriedly visit with, and share encouraging Bible promises with suffering ones.
- Organize support groups (if available) at your church or in your community.
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"... Who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." (2Cor 1:4)
It seems to me that there is no gift bestowed by God, which is intended to be kept to ourselves. Even when we receive comfort [which encourages and strengthens us in our trials,] that comfort has within it the capacity to equip/empower us to help other people more effectively.
God is preeminently unselfish, and every one of His gifts has an in-built capacity to help the receiver be more unselfish (i.e. more Christ-like).
Today's focus reinforces the verse Romans 8:28 "all things work together for good for those that love God............" The reason you and I went through that difficult moment was to prepare us to be of great help, actually life-saving, to other people in future. Cheer up and sing with me
Tempted and tried, we’re oft made to wonder
Why it should be thus all the day long;
While there are others living about us,
Never molested, though in the wrong.
Refrain:
Farther along we’ll know more about it,
Farther along we’ll understand why;
Cheer up, my brother, live in the sunshine,
We’ll understand it all by and by.
Sometimes I wonder why I must suffer,
Go in the rain, the cold, and the snow,
When there are many living in comfort,
Giving no heed to all I can do.
Tempted and tried, how often we question
Why we must suffer year after year,
Being accused by those of our loved ones,
E’en though we’ve walked in God’s holy fear.
Often when death has taken our loved ones,
Leaving our home so lone and so drear,
Then do we wonder why others prosper,
Living so wicked year after year.
“Faithful till death,” saith our loving Master;
Short is our time to labor and wait;
Then will our toiling seem to be nothing,
When we shall pass the heavenly gate.
Soon we will see our dear, loving Savior,
Hear the last trumpet sound through the sky;
Then we will meet those gone on before us,
Then we shall know and understand why.
I believe God gives us hearts to comfort and sympathize with those in need as we are connected with Him. It's not always necessary to create 'rules' for dealing with others in trying situations. Allowing God's Spirit to be made manifest thru us is the most powerful and effective way to comfort others.
Amen! If we have to follow man made rules, then it is a self work and not the work of the Holy Spirit working in us. Please stop following man counsel, Jesus said in Matthew 10:20 For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you. It is time to depend only on the Lord and the Lord alone.
Esther
I don't think that anyone is suggesting that we follow man made rules here. We do however benefit from a discussion with one another about how we can respond to the working of the Holy Spirit through us to the needs of others. Even with the best intentions in the world we sometimes respond to their needs inappropriately and we need to be aware of that.
We must remember that the Holy Spirit often speaks to us through the words of other people, even from unexpected quarters. A long time ago I was a student teacher, training to be teacher in Christian Schools and I thank God that there were human mentors who could take me under their wing and say to me, "Maurice, have you thought about teaching this way" and they would give me a different approach to teaching a topic. I believe that these men and women were used by the Holy Spirit to guide me.
The advice given in today's lesson is pertinent. The points at the end of the lesson are really important. So many of us strive to say something when our presence and just being there is much more important.
I can remember being sick and having so many visitors with so much advice I wanted to shoot the lot of them (figuratively of course). My wife, Carmel, who is usually a talkative soul, would come and sit in a chair beside the bed and read a book. Occasionally she would reach out and touch me. It was comforting just having her there.
A powerful lesson indeed!
However, I have often heard teachings even in church that men are different from women (true that)....that man don\'t cry, that they show less symphathy, compassion and pity ( they seem to be justified by society if they are not seen to be comforting, symphathising or showing empathy). its a big issue when a woman portrays the same above traits as does a man.
personally I have never been comfortable with this thought/teaching as the Bible does not also teach so.
why are communities esp afrian communities tolerating this thought and even the men upholding it too?
Jesus was moved with compassion, had pity and sympathy. I encourage us all to reflect Christ
We are all different and show sympathy in different ways. It is not necessarily a male/female thing to be different. If we are willing to be used by the Holy Spirit we can indeed be a comfort to those in need.
Its really good and am telling you sympathizing with others helps a lot and we can win many souls to Christ because those people do wonder what made us to do something like that...... Our churches could use this way so that we can win many for Christ but firstly give yourself to God and the go to others.
Can you give us some examples of how our churches can witness, or more importantly, how we as individuals can sympathize with others.
Maurice you can find a neighbor in your neighborhood who may need help maybe an old person clean they home, do grocery shopping for them, spend time with them somethings they are lonely and needs company, read the Bible to them ask them how you can help.