Thursday: Resting with the Forefathers
Read Genesis 25:8, 2 Samuel 7:12, 1 Kings 2:10, and 1 Kings 22:40. What do these texts add to your understanding of death?
The Old Testament expresses in different ways the ideas of death and burial. One is the notion of being gathered to one’s own people. For example, about Abraham, we are told that he “breathed his last and died in a good old age, an old man and full of years, and was gathered to his people” (Genesis 25:8, NKJV). Aaron and Moses were also gathered to their respective people (Deuteronomy 32:50).
What does the fact that both good and bad kings went to the same place at death teach us about the nature of death? (2 Kings 24:6, 2 Chronicles 32:33).
Image © Robert McKain at Goodsalt.com
Another way of describing death is by stating that someone rested with the forbearers. About King David’s death, the Bible says that he “rested with his fathers, and was buried in the City of David” (1 Kings 2:10, NKJV). The same expression is used also about several other Hebrew kings, both faithful kings and unfaithful kings.
We can identify at least three meaningful aspects of resting with the forbearers. One is the idea that sooner or later the time will come when we need to rest from our own tiring labors and sufferings. Another idea is that we are not the first and only ones to follow that undesirable trail, because our forbears already went ahead of us. A third idea is that, by being buried close to them, we are not alone but remain together even during the unconsciousness of death. This might not make much sense to some modern individualist cultures, but it was very meaningful in ancient times.
Those who die in Christ can be buried close to their loved ones, but even so there is no communication between them. They will remain unconscious until that glorious day when they will be awakened from their deep sleep to rejoin their loved ones who died in Christ.
| Imagine what it would be like if the dead were actually conscious and could see what life was like down here, especially for their loved ones, who often suffer terribly after their death. Why, then, should the truth that the dead sleep be so comforting to the living? |
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It is somewhat fitting that there is some discussion at this point about the language and disposal of remains when we die. Having been involved recently with the funeral of a loved one, I am acutely aware that it helps if there is some sort of plan. We can discuss the theology of death for as long as we like but somebody has to make the arrangements, organise the ceremonies, and sign the paperwork and pay the expenses.
Jesus had this to say: "But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead. Matt 8:22", but the simple fact is that the dead do not bury themselves. (And for the record, I think that Jesus was really saying be practical about funeral arrangements.)
In the case of my deceased father-in-law, he was cremated without any ceremony and we collected his ashes and took them to a nearby river where he loved to walk and with a simple little service and a prayer they were scattered in the water. Carmel's mum was unable to attend because she is now in aged-care near us. The fact that they were separated because they were no longer able to care for one another weighed heavily on us and it was one of the decisions that was a real crucible for us this year. We plan to have a little memorial service with Mum when we have everything settled.
One thing I learned is that we need to work hard with those affected by the death to ensure that the disposal of the remains bring them peace of mind. For example, My mother-in-law's sister and her husband have lived close by to Dad and Mum for most of their lives and were somewhat horrified to learn that Dad was to be cremated. But, without going into all the detail, we won them over and after the scattering of the ashes, they both thought that the whole process was comforting and affirming.
While I think it is important for us to understand the theology of death, it is also of vital importance to understand the practical side of dealing with death. Helping those who remain behind deal with all the other work that goes with death is where we can show our practical Christianity. Our own grieving was tempered with the fact that we had to clean out a whole house full of memories. We have also had to spend a lot of time in lawyer's offices, banks, and other organisations that have implications following the death of a family memeber.
What is the takeaway message from all of this? Essentially our theology of death must be balanced by practical Christianity to support the living. Aand can I suggest that a little bit of planning beforehand and letting your wishes be known makes recovery of the living much easier.
This quarter's lesson is about what God teaches in His word on the grossly misunderstood topic of death/dying as most in this world presently believe it. This subject is of utmost importance as we seem to be on the very threshold of the final events which will affect every living soul on this earth, and man's state in death will be one of the two great deceptions of Satan which he will use to lead most of the world to reject the final gospel call to "fear God...give glory to Him...worship Him...".
The practical dealings when a loved one dies will always get done, and for first-timers, there are many who can help sort out the sometimes confusion and chaos that can seem overwhelming, yet, it will finally get done and life will continue.
When properly understood, theology will never overrule good practice, but will enable the practice to bring hope to others and glory to God. Those who would "follow the Lamb withersoever he goeth"(Rev 14:4) must be intellectually and spiritually settled into the Truth. The importance of understanding the Truth of this topic cannot be overstated with the great darkness "that covers the earth, and gross darkness the people"(Isa 60:2) on this matter specifically.
I totally agree with your final thought Maurice. Sage advice!
Yes, Mr. Maurice. You are totally correct in all that you have said. Planning is very important, otherwise your living loved ones will have to make those major decisions for you. However, and unfortunate for our living relatives, very few people want to plan for their death, as if solidifying their death plan is sentencing themselves to an early death. Death, and dying, does not work like that; just by writing out your plans down, you are Not going to die immediately, unless you are living a thug lifestyle, or are terminally ill. We are all going to die (except for those few people that are still alive at Jesus' second advent), so we might as well make plans for it; Abraham made plans for Sarah's and his burial. We make plans to buy a house or a car. So, we should make plans for our rest, until Jesus comes.
I'm, or more specifically my husband, is going through the same thing you are going through, with the bank account and insurance, etc, involved with the recent passing of his oldest sister; however, we live over 350 miles in another state. So, he has to travel down there, while continuing to work his full-time job, in another state (Thank God he already works remotely). He has already made 2 trips down there to take care of his sister's affairs, but only God knows how many more trips he will have to make. She was only 62 years old; she took early retirement about 4 years ago, then she had a stroke about 16 months ago, last year.
But the crazy thing about all of this, that my husband is going through with his sister's death, is that his sister went through all of this with their father's death about 7 years ago; so, you would have thought she would have had all her financial matters planned out. No, she had nothing, no insurance (the life insurance lapsed), no beneficiaries on the bank accounts, no plans for how she wanted to be buried or cremated. And you would have thought that she would have gotten her affairs in order before she had surgery last year (the stroke was a complication from the surgery). I think that she did tell her mother years ago that she wanted to be cremated, so that's what we did; but now we don't know what to do with her ashes.
She had one grown son, who she supported; so, he needs a lot of guidance now, to navigate through all this web of grief and financial affairs. There is other family drama, with my husband's other siblings and family members; so, I have chosen to stay out of all of the affairs, because I may say something that I can't take back (I know myself). So, I just stay quiet, unless my husband asks me a direct question.
But please people, "get your house in order", which includes planning for your rest in death. Please heed Mr. Maurice advice and tell someone or write down a simple plan; it doesn't even have to be notarized. It can be a simple plan of what you would like.
P.S. I have added beneficiaries to bank accounts and my retirement accounts, even though I have about 6 years before I'm eligible to retire, 3 years for early SSI. But I can't just assume that the banks and other financial institutions will allow my next of kin, my husband and my sister, access to my accounts; it takes some planning on my part to ensure that they have the access they need to settle my affairs. I did this about two weeks ago, and I'm not dead yet; so, take some time to get your affairs in order.
God's blessing to you all.
Thank you Maurice for highlighting another practical aspect of handling the death issue.
T. Shaker once said: „ Death is not the greatest loss in life, the greatest loss is what dies inside while still alive“.
I had to deal with death at a very early age, when I was 5 yo. At that time, I was told by some pastor that my father would be in Heaven, and I kind of mixed up some ideas. It is important how we communicate what the Bible says about the state of the dead to children, and also important to work this in the psychological aspect, with the help of a good mental health profession. Because at the time, as a kid, I was not much "equipped" to deal with the subject, and I carried a lot of bad feelings for more than 40 years without the need of them... feelings and beliefs that brought me a lot of mind troubles, and that probably shaped a bunch of decisions in life, that I can't even imagine if I had worked on them properly back there how different my life could have been... But as faith comes in, I also believe that "everything comes for the good of those who love God"... thus, I'm thankful for everything. After having the chance to "re-visit" my memories with the right professional help lately, things are balanced now.
What are the advantages / disadvantages of being buried next to our kin?
The purpose of burying our dead in a particular location, with a marked grave, is for the benefit of the living. We like being able to go to a known location, and to see an engraved stone saying, essentially, "Here lies _________, beloved father/mother, etc." Toward accomplishing this purpose, it is beneficial to have the graves of family members in a single location, as far as possible -- especially those of a husband and wife who have both died within a relatively short period of time without the surviving spouse having remarried.
Many desire to be buried next to their loved ones, so that they will come up together in the resurrection of the just. This doesn't seem like a bad idea to me. However, I would not overlook the capacity of the angels to reunite loved ones in the resurrection. So, the practical benefits of this practice may be somewhat questionable.
As for disadvantages, there may be circumstances where burying family members in a single location could involve the excessive expenditure of means that could have been used more effectively, in some other way, to benefit the living.
Does anyone have any other thoughts on this topic?
There is no real advantage or disadvantage from a spiritual point of view. There are some practical considerations though. In our family it has often been a financial one. Funerals and burials can get enormously expensive and there are other ways of honouring the dead than giving them an expensive funeral. My mother was living a long way from where my father was buried when she died. We had her cremated and we took her ashes back to our home town and buried them in the same plot as Dad. Cost us $50 for permission to do it. Then we had a great reunion potluck the following Sabbath in the church where both Dad and Mum had been members for most of their lives. That reunion was the best part and a great foretaste of what it is going to be like at the resurrection.
Maurice,
You did well for burying your mother's ashes. My mom wanted half of her ashes to be buried with my dad's and half buried with her mother. Finding out where her mother was buried was very challenging. The business owner of the cemetery wanted $1200 for the interment.
Without planning, the practical aspects of dying and funeral arrangements can be very expensive.
Richard Ferguson
Is all well with Phil van der Klift? His comments are missed.
Hi Jim,
You can see Phil's most recent comment (3 days ago) here:
https://ssnet.org/blog/sabbath-rebellion-in-perfect-universe/#comment-130286
In Hebrews 9:27,28 The Apostle Paul seems to make a point out of Jesus' death as saving us from a judgement that "Eternal Death," has a grip on every one of us but that Jesus going to the Roman Cross then frees us from that "death," when He comes again free from that death and also to "Save Us," from that "Death," and to give us "Eternal Life."
This issue regarding death to be a state of ‘sleep’ has never been encountered by me when in the presence of someone who lost a loved one. I only encountered this as an ‘issue’ when joining the SDA church. If there is any consolation for those who grief, I would say to be empathetic - caring, understanding, supportive; with one word – loving them through the time of grief. The experience of loss is theirs, not the departed one's.
To start talking about the ‘state of the dead’ at that time is the last thing I would do. The death of their loved one is felt emotionally by them, not theologically or intellectually. Later on, when deep grief has settled into acceptance, their might be an occasion to talk about this should the person be still unsettled.
It can take month or years or even a lifetime to come to terms with the absence of a loved person without ever thinking about the departed one’s state in death. The pain is felt by the one who is left to keep on living without the departed loved one.
I would encourage anyone to not make death another issue to be ‘debated’. Our focus should always be on life where choices are made and the course of life is decided on.
I agree. When my coworker's son passed away a couple years ago at the young age of 22, she found comfort in believing he could see her and communicate with her. Of course I don't believe that, but when she was hurting the most was not the time to challenge that belief. It would only have made her upset with me and unwilling to listen to anything I said in the future. Instead, I let her know I was there to support her emotionally as she grieved.
I also took practical action and made her a prayer shawl. When I give someone a prayer shawl, I tell them to imagine I am giving them a hug when they use it. And as I make it, I pray for the recipient, even when I don't know who it will be for immediately. Knitting is my expression of practical love, a way to bless others with the creativity God gave me. (Yes, I believe creativity is a gift; after all, God himself is creative.)
Karen, your knitting prayer shawls for people while praying and telling them to imagine that you are hugging them is such a beautiful thing to do!
At the same time, I wonder when is a good time to let people know that their loved ones are sleeping until the resurrection ...
If Satan should seek to ensnare them by having one of his demons pretend to be that loved one and then communicate with them, would they be in a better position to listen?
Or would it be better to let them know ahead of time?
I don't think there's an easy answer. ... I'm thinking that it is helpful to share from a personal experience of dealing with death - as in "I'm so glad that my mother is sleeping in the grave and will wake again when Jesus comes," or something like that, when it can be worked into the conversation. Prayerfully. And listen prayerfully for a response .. not just the verbal response, but the attitude, body language, to know how to proceed.
I don't know about you, but I have personally known people who have been visited by "departed spirits." And I also know that these manifestations will get more and more common. If I had no other way of knowing, the very fact that the movie industry is awash with such encounters is pretty good evidence that Satan is planning a major onslaught along those lines. (The "Further Reading" on Friday, "The First Great Deception" is really worthwhile. And so is the chapter entitled, "The Agency of Evil Spirits.")
Once we understand the biblical meaning of death (or the state of the dead) helps us appreciate the gift of life and the meaning of life. The bible truth that the dead sleep should be comforting to the living for a billion reasons, but I’ll just mention three. (1) The pagan concept of hell does not exist, (2) no more pain and suffering, and (3) the after-life view from the Eastern tradition/religion does not exist. Reason (1) has led people away from their Catholic and Protestant churches because of their religious belief in the idea of a pagan hell mixed with bible truth. Yes, hell is real, but it is reserved only for Satan, his angels, and the lost, which is known to us as the second death. But, if you mix pagan beliefs with bible truth distorts the character of a loving God. And, many people don’t want to worship a God that puts the lost in a place of hell fire where it never ends for them (lesson 10 will help us understand the concept of hellfire). This reason alone discourages many people to go to church because they are afraid, fearful of worshiping a God resembling the Greek god, Zeus, who will zap you with his thunderbolt. Furthermore, a loving parent should be comforted in the fact that their child is not in some purgatory limbo state or in a hell chamber suffering from a sin of a human lifetime compared to eternity. Reason (2) comforts the living knowing that their loved ones (saved or lost) are finally at rest and asleep in death. When we see our aging grandparents suffering from physical pain, or your child having cancer, or maybe, knowing someone suffering from deep depression, mental illness, or some incurable disease, it is comforting to know that he or she no longer is experiencing those anymore, but at long last resting from their pain. It hurts and pains us to not have them in our lives alive, but at the same time it hurts seeing them in that awful excruciating condition. I remember when my younger sister’s pet dog was sick due to old age in dog years or maybe it was some other serious ailment. The veterinarian advice was to put the dog to sleep. When my sister’s dog was put to sleep, it hurt me so bad inside I cried so much more than I did when my grandma passed away, imagine that. But, I saw how my sister’s pet dog was suffering alive and it was hurting all of us. Although the passing of my sister’s pet dog hurt the family so badly, it was comforting to know of not seeing her suffer from her languishing pain when she was still alive in her state of condition. Reason (3) that the pagan idea of an after-life does not exist is comforting to know because if I die or a loved one passes away doesn’t have to see me or loved ones left behind suffering the trials of life or the bad decisions made on earth watching from a so-called paradise above looking down on earth. How can an after-life concept of heaven be heaven, when you're watching your loved ones having a hard time living on earth. Heaven will be a living hell if this was the case. Thank God for the biblical understanding of the human nature of death because it makes much more sense and comforting compared to other worldview theological teachings of death.