Tuesday: The Earning Years
As we have seen, God intended for humans to work in one capacity or another. This part of our life (the working years) is usually about 40 years long. For many people this is the time when children are being brought up and educated and when the home and other major purchases are acquired. This can be a very intense time financially. It is a very sensitive time because the family is learning to work together, and its members are creating lifelong bonds. Financial stress can wreck the marriage at this point, and frequently does. Families in which both parties have a Christian commitment and are willing to follow biblical principles are much more stable.
Read 1 Timothy 5:8; Proverbs 14:23; and Colossians 3:23-24. What important points can we take away from these texts about finances in the home?
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In many cases, the husband is the main breadwinner, though often both spouses work. Of course, unexpected circumstances can arise — sickness, economic downturns, whatever — that make this ideal difficult. People need, then, to adjust accordingly.
The children who are brought into the world during this segment of life are called “a heritage from the LORD” (Psalm 127:3, NKJV). We must remember that children bring with them an awesome responsibility. The goal of Christian parents is to train their children to become independent adults in this life and to fit them for the life to come. Here are three points to help parents:
- Provide a Christian home environment. This would include regular and interesting family worship, regular Sabbath School and church attendance, and faithfulness in tithes and offerings. These are great habits to form in early life.
- Teach them a willingness to work and an appreciation for it. Children will discover that diligence and integrity at work are always noticed, appreciated, and rewarded. They will learn that money comes to us as a result of our giving time to others by performing tasks that are valuable to them.
- Help with a good education. Education is expensive today — particularly private school Christian education. But to parents with plans for their children not only for this life but also for that which is to come, it is well worth the cost.
| Of course, no matter what they do no one has any guarantee about the direction their children will go. Why is it important for parents not to blame themselves for the wrong choices their older children might make? |
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During my lifetime, there has been a significant shift from the notion that the man is the breadwinner of the family to the idea that women can contribute equally and sometimes more to the family finances. In Church work, often the wife was considered as an optional extra, particularly when it came to career opportunities. In my own experience, I would receive a call to a new job and Carmel would have to give up her current employment and follow me without any offer of a job for her. We were both qualified teachers, but I was paid more than her because I was the head of the household. I would get job security while she had to go and find a new job.
Times have changed and nowadays in church employment, a real effort is made to ensure that both partners have employment if possible.
Our experience is just one example of the shift in societal expectations as far as employment and family relationships are concerned. In fact, the topic of today's lesson should really be the subject of a whole series of lessons because sometimes I think we have handled that shift poorly. There are of course those who argue that we need to go back to the old days and I have heard lots of dubious text quoting to support that view. The fact is that we have to live in the real world and apply our Christian principles to the current situation.
Here are some things we need to consider:
a) Family. In the good old days, when the family arrived, mum stayed home and looked after the kids while the father went to work and earned the money. Now we can have a situation where the mother is the major income earner and it does not make sense for her to give up her job for several years. Not only would the family lose her contribution to family finances, but she would also probably lose her professional qualification due to not keeping up her professional development. Looking after the children in these circumstances is something that has to be seriously considered. (And that is where locally living grandparents can be useful - and free)
b) Relationships between husband and wife are often challenged in these circumstances. Satisfying and enjoyable careers are important, but so is home life. Making sure that home life happens needs planning, often in the long term. For instance, holiday time needs to be synchronised otherwise dad and mum have annual leave at different times of the year,
c) Spiritual development should not be an afterthought. It has to be a planned family experience, not something that is left to the individual.
d) A church community can be a big help. A church that meets once a week for a couple of hours of sermon and Bible study and that's it, is dysfunctional. We need to be aware of one another's needs. We should adopt the car assistance organisation's motto; "We're here to help!"
There is no doubt that our modern life can be challenging financially, spiritually, and with relationships. It can be more difficult than rocket science. It is worth much more than a few paragraphs of study,
It goes without saying that parents play an important role in shaping their children's lives, providing love, guidance and a positive example...But, it’s important to recognise the many other influences that can impact a child's decisions and outcomes, such as their own unique experiences and perspectives, peer groups, schools, communities...
Parents need to understand that even if their children make mistakes or bad choices, they still need the love and support of their parents. e.g. If an older adult child chooses not to stay in the same religion as their parents. It’s a challenging and emotional experience for both the child and the parents. Parents can demonstrate this support by showing empathy, compassion, and understanding, and by maintaining a positive and loving relationship with their child, even if they disagree on certain spiritual matters.
While the only silver bullet to ensure the salvation of our children is Christ alone, there are circumstances that families can create to provide an environment more conducive to drawing young hearts to the Lord. I’ll admit that I am jaded based on my (our) own decision to trade one paid career for another unpaid home schooling career at home. But, the value of the time spent directly interacting with one’s “heritage from the Lord” must not be underestimated, either financially or spiritually. Because of this financial sacrifice we made, we were afforded the opportunity to make the greatest impression on our children, because we spent the most time with them, thereby censoring (as much as possible) the influence of the world.
Like Brigitte has so often testified, we also never went without anything we needed, by following God’s principles of finances. God provides in ways you can never imagine. I changed careers once again when our kids began attending college, and am now working outside the home for a paycheck. If I had to do it all over again, I would make the same choice.😊
Personally, as far as it concerns the ‘earning years', I cannot see how to separate ‘earning’ from ‘living’. To me, life and work are two sides of the same coin. My work’s focus is not about earning, it is about ‘living to give’; giving of my time and talents by accepting opportunities and obligations during my life. Maybe if we change the focus of our living to ‘giving of ourselves’, that which we ‘earn/receive’ in return will appear in a different light.
My daughter tells me that my stay-at-home life is not necessarily representative of most people who have to struggle to earn an income at a ‘place of work’. She is right in some respects, but I have always seen myself and my husband as a team 'working' together as we agree to accept opportunities and challenges which foster the future of the whole family. My life’s direction did not represent a ‘competing’ trajectory demanding to be satisfied.
Matt. 6:34 sets the parameters for a well balanced life. “Do not worry” about things not yet present – take small steps forward, assess risks and possible impacts before deciding, no procrastination in addressing matters important in the present. I certainly agree with the lesson writer about the importance of instilling in children a solid ‘work-ethic’, which, as I believe, cannot be separated from the way we live the whole of our life – Col. 3:23-24.
In my opinion, children’s basic education should provide skills to meet the basic demands in life. Obviously, special skills need more education and practice to develop proficiency. In and of itself, formal education does not guarantee success in life. Should the foundation of one’s life be strong or weak due to issues with overall ‘integrity’, life itself eventually becomes the teacher to provide opportunities for remedial, practical and spiritual learning through experience - the Holy Spirit at work. 🙂
Abraham only had "One child of Promise," Isaac. Jesus had no biological children at all. I thought that I, coming from a non-SDA background of a 10 sibling family, thought that I would never marry much less have any children. My wife came from a non-SDA 10 sibling family also. We had only one son and we raised him as an SDA and he is now 43 years old, has no wife, but is very successful as a salesman for a company and for this my wife and I are so very happy that he fends for himself very well.