Wednesday: Parenting as Disciple-Making
Read Genesis 18:18-19 and 1 Samuel 3:10-14. Contrast these two fathers. What were the results of their parenting styles?
Addiction
Parents have a responsibility to be the disciplemakers of their children, so they will become disciples of Jesus themselves. There are parents who believe that the way to teach and correct their children is by applying physical punishment—the more, the better (Prov. 22:15, Prv. 23:13, Prov. 29:15). Passages like these have been misused to abuse children and force them into total submission, but often that has also led to rebellion against their parents and God.
The Bible teaches parents to govern with kindness (Eph. 6:4, Col. 3:21) and to instruct children in righteousness (Ps. 78:5, Prov. 22:6, Isa. 38:19, Joel 1:3). As parents we ought to provide for our children (2 Cor. 12:14) and set a good example for them to follow (Gen. 18:19, Exod. 13:8, Titus 2:2). We are told to direct our households well (1 Tim. 3:4-5, 1 Tim. 3:12) and to discipline our children (Prov. 29:15, Prov. 29:17) while at the same time reflecting God’s love (Isa. 66:13, Ps. 103:13, Luke 11:11).
Sadly, the Bible reveals stories of parenting gone wrong. Isaac and Rebekah played favorites with their sons, Esau and Jacob (Gen. 25:28), and later Jacob displayed the same attitude toward Joseph (Gen. 37:3). Eli, even though he was a religious leader, failed to correct his children (1 Sam. 3:10-14). Samuel, who was also raised by Eli, turned out to be a very deficient father himself (1 Sam. 8:1-6). King David, by committing adultery and ordering a murder, taught his children who followed his example. King Manasseh sacrificed his children to demons (2 Kings 21:1- 9), as did King Ahaz (2 Kings 16:2-4).
Fortunately, however, we also find in the Scriptures some examples of good parenting. Mordecai was a wonderful adoptive father to Hadassah, Queen Esther (Esther 2:7), and Job prayed for his children regularly (Job 1:4-5). In all of these examples, good and bad, we can glean lessons on parenting.
| What can we learn from the examples of parenting that we see in the Bible? In what ways can we use some of these principles in our interactions with those who are not our children? |
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As parents it’s easy to assume that if we give our children the right ingredients, keep out the wrong ingredients, and put them in the right environment for the right amount of time, we are guaranteed a certain result. Parenting doesn’t work that way.
We discipline our children not so that they will make us happy but so that they will serve Christ as adults. We educate them not so they can have a good job but to develop them to be the best follower of Jesus they can be. We work hard to prepare them not for graduation day but for the Judgment Day!
Children are God’s means to transform us. Their sin reveals our sin. Their questions reveal our ignorance. All of these are God’s prompts for us to grow.
The first battleground of family discipleship is not my child’s heart; it is my heart. Each parent must decide whether he is more concerned that his child is accepted into Heaven or “Harvard.”
Our goal is not “successful” parenting per se, but faithful parenting.
Having made the point that there are no guarantees, we must also make the counterpoint equally strong. God can and does use means. Because there is no guarantee of success does not give me the right to throw up my hands. A belief in God’s providence and promises does not give me a license to live passively.
Teenage rebellion is not a natural part of growing up. It is a natural part of the sin nature maturing.
The more I realize my powerlessness in discipleship, the more I will spend time in prayer.
The finest art of communication is not learning how to express your thoughts. It is learning how to draw out the thoughts of another.
God gives us little children for a reason. Pain imposed when small is forgotten in the later years. Teens and adults whose hearts have been trained can more easily say, “Yes, Lord.” Discipline, then, is not fundamentally about having good children, but godly adults. Discipline is discipleship in action.
I frequently say
We are not given children (just) to develop their character,
But we have children to develop our own character
Because, oh, how often do we see defects in ourselves while interacting with our children.
Thank you, Lord, for the mirrors.
Thank you for that. Conviction came to me after reading this.
The struggle is real!!!
This is the most important lesson. How to develop & mold their character to be like the LORDS not just to obey the rules.
Eph 6:6 makes it clear - "doing the will of God from the heart"
How do we become like Jesus - "on beholding we become like Him" 2Cor 3:18
Parents need to be an example.
exactly parents need to lead all the way to our children. have liked it brother man thank you
True discipleship and discipline is to motivate them to want to be like Jesus.
To change the heart and actions will follow.
Jesus provides divine power to enable us to partake of the divine nature 2Peter 1:3-4
Titus 2:2
2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, psound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.
•we live in a world especially parts of Africa where teenage girls in our universities are finding sponsers for themselves.Infact this sponsers are old men who have taken over from young men.The lecturers have also not been left behind.we have STD's(Sexually transmitted Degrees) all in exchange for good grades.
We need special prayers for our old men and our young girls in universities!
I have a question. Does God bless us with good children or is always the responsibility of parents to make their children good and responsible. Because I have seen many parents who are teaching their children the way of the Lord but still these children go astray. What should parents do in such situations?
Children are a heritage of the Lord, that is, they are a tangible supernatural gift from the Almighty. (Psalm 127:3.) The responsibility of parents, family and church is to manage God’s gracious gift in accord with its Giver. Any gift can be used for good or for ill – the onus is on the recipient. As a parent, I have fallen for the lies of the Devil by using force to make my child “good” and by not using the opportunities (that is, “bad” behaviour) the Lord gave me to lead my child to the Lord. But I thank God that he has not left to my own devices and understanding, but has lead me to a deeper understanding of his love.
This week’s lesson cited Psalm 127, and in this psalm, Solomon makes it crystal clear that if the Lord is not in what we are doing, it cannot succeed. Verse 3 specifically speaks of children. By this, I understand that the raising of children (God’s supernatural gift) to be a supernatural Holy Spirit directed responsibility. If we are not in Christ as we raise our children, then (to be blunt) we are sowing the Devil’s seed, and so cannot expect a good harvest for our labours.
The lesson also quoted Moses’ words to the Israelites: “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” (Deuteronomy 6:4-5.) The context makes it clear that these words are the foundation for possessing the Promised Land. My experience is that loving God with all my heart, soul and might is a supernatural Holy Spirit directed experience; it is dying to self and living for God.
In many cultures, the father is the lord of the family. He is right, even if he is wrong. He would never apologize if he wronged his child. His children are obligated by culture to do his will or suffer significant censure or worse. This is not the way of Christ (see Philippians 2:5-8), who “emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant.” Why did he do this? Because he loved his Heavenly Father with all his heart, soul and might.
Moses goes on to specify the condition on which Israel will possess the Promised Land:
“These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-9.)
So, based on loving God with all my heart, soul and might, I am to teach my child through every single activity of my life to love the Lord with his heart, soul and might. My experience is that this cannot succeed on anything less than God’s supernatural power and wisdom. And this can only come by pleading with God that his will not mine will be done in my life and in my child’s life, and by asking for his gracious power and wisdom to accomplish this. I want to have a possession in the Promised Land with the children of God.
Just a thought.
We live in a world where laws are enacted mostly against men in the name of Human Rights, most of the laws based on the relationship between man-woman and child-man are draconianly leaning against men. What's the position of the Bible on child discipline and child rights?
Danso Micheal,,God blesses us all with good children But who have their own free will and are leaving in this sinful world.Read on the part of Thursday for more explanation
Josiah. Thank you so so much for your comment. It was inspired. I was both blessed and challenged by the message. May GOD richly bless you and yours