Monday: Dealing With Scandals
Daily Lesson for Monday 20th of July 2026
Dealing with matters of sexuality is always hard. It was hard for Paul, and it is for us, too. In these situations, we must be faithful to the Scriptures and address the issue with prayer and love. We must never forget that our goal is restoration.
Read again 1 Corinthians 5:1-13. How does Paul tell them to deal with this situation?
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Paul makes it clear in 1 Corinthians 5:1-13 that sexual scandals require church discipline. He says that the incestuous man should be removed (1 Corinthians 5:2), judged (1 Corinthians 5:3), delivered to Satan (1 Corinthians 5:5), and “ ‘put away’ ” (1 Corinthians 5:13, NKJV). The church members were told “not to associate with” him (1 Corinthians 5:9,11, ESV), nor “even to eat with such a one” (1 Corinthians 5:11, ESV). Paul employs strong language that may sound offensive to modern ears, but his words must be understood in their historical context. Also, one must remember that he is dealing with a flagrant, sinful lifestyle. Usually, in extreme situations, strong language is necessary. In any case, a brief explanation of some expressions is helpful.
“Let him . . . be removed from among you” (1 Corinthians 5:2, ESV; also 1 Corinthians 5:13). This refers to church discipline.
“Deliver this man to Satan” (1 Corinthians 5:5, ESV). Because this man did not choose to be under the protection of God by living in obedience to Him, he would be vulnerable to Satan. So, this expression can merely mean something like “Let him reap the fruit of his decisions.”
“Not to associate” (1 Corinthians 5:9,11, NASB), “not even to eat with such a one” (1 Corinthians 5:11, RSV). Close association with sexually immoral people was considered dangerous because they might influence others to imitate their conduct. In ancient times, sharing a meal could mean sharing values, as well. We are all susceptible to the influences that are around us, and we need to protect ourselves the best we can, especially in dealing with something like this.
“That his spirit may be saved” (1 Corinthians 5:5, NASB). Church discipline is rehabilitative. It intends to bring sinners back to their senses and cause them to abandon their sinful lifestyles. This is possibly what Paul meant by “destruction of the flesh” (1 Corinthians 5:5). It is possible, too, that the incestuous man in 1 Corinthians 5:1-13 is the repentant man referred to later (see 2 Corinthians 2:5-10). Church discipline reaches its purpose when the erring member is reintegrated into church fellowship.
In our modern church we face the dilemma of wanting to condemn sin and being compassionate to sinners. Historically, Christians have been condemnatory to the extent that we have lost our voice on morality. We need to remind ourselves that grace is at the very heart of Christianity. Condemnation often builds walls that are difficult for the sinner to climb over.
When we feel compelled to speak strongly about sin we should remind ourselves:
And just a reminder that we all stand as sinners irrespective of our sense of moral scale.
We can speak strongly about sin but when we show the grace and love of Jesus first, people will listen to what we say.
Thank you for your insightful comments Maurice. However, the last time I recall anyone being disfellowshipped for anything in my church is about 50 years ago. I suspect many followers on ssnet.org may attest to this also.
So, the question is, are we better today, when compared to 50 years ago? Are our members more spiritual connected to God now, when compared to 50 years ago?
You are probably right for our part of the world, Melvin, However, I have seen restrictions placed on people about participation and attendance. Sometimes it has been for a good reason.
So good means…..is to follow god regulations and rule this can make to avoid this problem and insue possessed by Satan,…amen🙏
I am not quite sure what you mean here Victor, but I have seen restrictions because of criminal convictions and also for disruptive behaviour.
Disfellowshipping doesn’t seem to happen very much and I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. From my reading of what happened before I was born, it seems that it was mostly used for adultery/divorce anyway, even though there are other offenses mentioned in the church manual. I suppose there were some people disfellowshipped for being contentious too.
I do know that some people have been not allowed to hold office for certain behaviors, so I think the element of discipline still exists. It really depends on the pastor’s attitude.
Somehow in this day and age it seems hard to know for sure what people are doing. People in a church don’t live in the same community the way they used to. There can be gossip or rumors but they are hard to substantiate. I have heard of people doing things worthy of censure, but I don’t actually have proof and I imagine that is true for many others. It probably leads us to avoid pursuing discipline. Hard to say if this is right or wrong.
Thanks, Christina, you mentioned a common dilemma caused by people not living in the same community. But we could mitigate that somewhat by associating outside of church service – by inviting people to our homes, holding small group Bible studies during the week. I’ve seen that work quite well in our current church. And it doesn’t take a board action to hold a Bible study in your home. One of our ladies is doing exactly that. We are reading and studying the book of Exodus together, and sometimes we have more people than the main Sabbath School class in church. It’s a casual group – the kind of group to which people can invite friends.
This woman is currently single, and I know of other women in the past who did this sort of thing. Not to say that married women can’t do it. 😉
But Jesus intended us to have close relationships, with the kind of closeness where we can hold each other accountable.
Maurice , can you explain what “ church discipline is rehabilitative” looks like in 2026? I am thinking, in my opinion along the lines of therapy, re-integration into the church. TIA
It is a hard question to answer because there is no “one solution”. Perhaps the best answer is that good pastoral care is the answer. Perhaps an example outside the church helps. When I was a lecturer I would lecture fifty students at a time, but the real work often came down to one-on-one conversations in tutorials. That was where we had an opportunity to talk about individual needs. A good church should be pastored like a tutorial, working on an individual basis. Ministry is much more that preaching a sermon. Working with individuals is where problems can be aired and solutions offered. And yes, it is quite likely that it may involve professional help too.
I believe pastoring plays a big role in this. The pastors of today are very different from the ones of 40 to 50 years ago. Membership numbers and popularity seem more important now.
There are good pastors around now, but typically they are less noisy than preachers. And that is the problem – it is the noisy wheel that gets the attention.
I was disfellowshiped 43 years ago because my friend told the Elders of the church I had sinned. As the 5 Elders confronted me in the church. I confessed but they made me feel like a harlot with the personal questions & details they asked about my situation. I was a young woman and one of there last questions was would I do this again. I thought about lying but I knew God would know I did, so I answered truthfully. I was cast out of church & my family disowned me and some of them still do today. I stayed away from church for 25 years. I went to a Revelation Seminar and prayed over the lesson being taught. I spoke to nobody but God in prayer regarding my issue and He answered me. I was baptized in 2009 into the Seventh-day Adventist Church in Indianapolis, and still attend. Man cannot read the heart only God can. Although my religion which I grew up in disfellowshiped me, I fully understand why they did but I vowed then to never return to that church, but I recall my hard longing through the years for forgiveness which only God gives freely when we repent & ask. However, it’s through God’s grace that He never gave up on me.
I am sorry you went through that experience. It doesn’t seem it was handled correctly, even though discipline may have been appropriate. I’m glad you made your way back.
We are so glad you are back, Crystal! Yes, God is much more gracious than the elders in the church sometimes are!
You seem to have a good understanding of God’s grace, and, by His grace, you can now share His love with others.
We would love to have you hang out with us on this blog and comment when you feel so moved.
The reality of scandals is not and will never be new. The modern world has numerous stories of broken relationships, moral failures, and public disgrace that are not easy to talk about. Equally the church in Corinth struggled with a scandal of sexual immorality between a man and his father’s wife that threatened its very existence as witnesses for christ. In 1st Corinthians 5:1, Paul confronts the church pointing out…”it is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate.” The apostle rather than hiding or ignoring the scandal called the believers to restoration. His message is a stern reminder that sin damages our relationship with God. 1st John 1:9 declares, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Like many today, the Corinthians might have chosen to conceal or ignore the scandal, pretending all was well. Scripture teaches that covering up sin only deepens its consequences, however confession opens the door to healing. Paul urged the church to deal with the scandal in truth so that the sinner might ultimately be restored (1 Corinthians 5:5). This reflects the wisdom of Proverbs 28:13: “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” God is not interested in perfect people but in repentant hearts that allow His transforming grace to work.
When we learn as a people to courageously tell and confont our stories of pain, failure and shame it becomes easier to recognise God’s faithfulness as our scars become testimonies of Christ’s redeeming power. The Corinthians had to know that their identity was no longer defined by their failure as a church because, through Christ, they had been cleansed and made new-“And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 6:11). Therefore, instead of allowing any scandal to define us, we should let God’s grace define us. Our testimony of surviving failure and experiencing God’s restoration can encourage others to seek forgiveness, healing, and hope, proving that there is indeed glory to be found in every story surrendered to Christ.
Can the church apply Paul’s approach to deal with sexual scandals in our churches today? What are some of the challenges this approach might face if applied in our churches nowadays? Paul’s approach, particularly his strong language, undoubtedly will encounter strong headwinds in many churches that I know.
1. It is very apparent that many churches I have been a member of seem to place strong emphasis on “tolerance”. In fact, moral judgment can be easily misunderstood as intolerance, if not discriminatory. Moral judgment is not normally seen as corrective, but it is quickly termed as “hatred”, “condemnation”, “holier-than-thou”, and “mind your business”. Therefore, members and the church leadership look on the other side.
2. Many church leaders, including the general membership, will be extremely hesitant to confront moral sin for fear of conflict. They would like to keep church peace rather than start what can easily become a storm. The status quo is more important than church holiness.
3. Church leadership is deathly scared of lawsuits and negative publicity in case the matter is not handled properly. We live in very litigious times, where personal financial gains seem to make many people become oversensitive.
4. Individual rights seem to be in overdrive. Many Christians believe their personal lives are private matters, making accountability more difficult to practice. Church authority is quickly losing its say over private matters.
5. Nowadays, there are countless denominations, and members can easily jump from one church to another without addressing the raised concern. The church leaders have no responsibility to follow members wherever they jump to. Easy mobility has rendered church discipline impotent.
6. At times, church discipline is used selectively. Some sins are more targeted, whereas some sins are ignored or assumed not to be sins. Such a kind of inconsistency makes church authority very weak.
The greatest challenge in our time is how to uphold truth and holiness while we execute discipline with grace, love, and fairness with the ultimate goal of restoration at heart.
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1, NIV)
You raise very important questions. I’m just wondering: what would it look like to “restore the person gently” while also calling out the sin who is gay, trans, or lives with someone who is not their spouse, for example ?
Does the Seventh-day Adventist church consider being gay and trans as sins? I thought it had issued a statement saying these inborn conditions are not sin???
Where?
More to the point. Are there any passages in scripture which say inborn sin is ok ?
The word of God is our standard guide.
Bradley, each one of has inborn sin, as we are born with a sinful nature. Apart from God, we can’t do anythng about this.
We also bear the results of generations of sin within our family. I think that is what is meant when it says the sins of the fathers are visited on the third and fourth generation. Some of us struggle with one problem, others with another. Surely you would not say that a person is sinful because they have tendencies towards losing their temper?
Physically and emotionally, we are not what we are designed to be. If you don’t have a particular struggle, it’s easy to condemn those who do. Thankfully God understands.
I don’t think it is a sin to have certain inclinations. When it comes to same-sex issues, behavior is condemned in the Bible, not tendencies or orientations.
Hello Christina. I agree that behavior is condemned in the Bible, and I’d add that we all have “inclinations” that can lead to sinful outcomes. But we should be careful not to underestimate how powerful those inclinations and tendencies can be, and how much they shape our behavior. Sin begins in the heart, so we shouldn’t excuse it just because it hasn’t been acted on (not saying that you are). Our God can deliver and transform us from all sinful tendencies.
Hi Jeff, just for your information, this is not an issue that I have, but I feel great compassion for those who do struggle with tendencies they didn’t ask for.
When it comes to sex, there are many potential tendencies that can lead to sin. Attraction to the opposite sex is the “natural” orientation, but as we know it can be expressed in many distorted ways. I would wager to guess that there are many more distorted heterosexual tendencies than homosexual in the church. If you are attracted to the opposite sex, that is not wrong, of course, but how many allow that tendency to lead to lust for people they are not married to? Many struggle with this. It too needs to be overcome. And if you understand how difficult these struggles can be (for example, if you are single), you will be more understanding of those who struggle in different ways. Not excusing anything, but realizing it’s tough.
Thanks for explicitly making a distinction between inclination and behavior. The bible explicitly condemns same-sex sexual relations. It does not condemn a man loving another man, considering that genuine love puts the welfare of the other person first, including his eternal welfare. Such a relationship would exclude sex by definition. (The same holds for women, of course.)
I assumed the original comment as referring to behavior, such as being in a same-sex relationship that is generally sexual. The rest of my comment rested on that assumption.
Sins are not inborn. The tendencies to these sins might be
I was disfellowshipped before for an immoral sin which brought reproach to the body of Christ and my family. I stayed off church records for almost 3 years but continued attending church.
Later, i was readmitted and rebaptised.
It was a sorrowful moment on my rebaptism and I felt the heaviest pain of sin. I had looked forward to my rebaptism as it was the only sign of my forgiveness and acceptance back into the fold of God.
I am happily worshipping God fully understanding God’s grace to all who come back to the Lord. Church discipline is a tool to help a sinner introspect and reform character while at the same time imaging the righteousness of Christ the head of the church.
God’s grace is sufficient to save.
Thank you for sharing that you are now “happily worshipping God fully understanding God’s grace to all who come back to the Lord.”
It seems that church discipline did its intended work for you. May the Lord continue to bless you in your walk with HIm.
Christ’s instruction as to the treatment of the erring repeats in more specific form the teaching given to Israel through Moses: “Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in anywise rebuke thy neighbor, that thou bear not sin for him.” (Leviticus 19:17, margin.) That is, if others neglect the duty Christ has enjoined, of trying to restore those who are in error and sin, they become partakers in the sin. For evils that we might have checked, we are just as responsible as if we were guilty of the acts ourselves.
But it is to the wrongdoer himself that we are to present the wrong. We are not to make it a matter of comment and criticism among ourselves; nor even after it is told to the church, are we at liberty to repeat it to others. A knowledge of the faults of Christians will be only a cause of stumbling to the unbelieving world; and by dwelling upon these things, we ourselves can receive only harm; for it is by beholding that we become changed. While we seek to correct the errors of others, the Spirit of Christ will lead us to shield them, as far as possible, from the criticism of even their own brethren, and how much more from the censure of the unbelieving world. We ourselves are erring, and need Christ’s pity and forgiveness, and just as we wish Him to deal with us, He bids us deal with one another.—Ellen White, DA, 441.
Church discipline must be meted out with love, care , and compassion. Prayer and Bible -reading are also necessary during this period.
While all sin equally separates us from God and requires His grace, Scripture makes a clear distinction between how sin affects us and how the Church should address it.
Just as God’s final judgment accounts for knowledge, intent, and harm, church discipline isn’t “one-size-fits-all.” Private stumbles call for quiet, personal restoration (Galatians 6:1), while public, high-impact, or unrepentant sin demands firm community intervention to protect others and preserve the Church’s witness.
The ultimate goal of earthly discipline is never self-righteous retribution—it is always redemption, aiming to bring the individual back into restored fellowship with God and the community.
It is easy for anyone to point out others. But when Jesus started to write sins on the sand, was any of the accusers spared? Let us ask for God’s mercy not only for ourselves, but for other sinners too. Thank God He is always ready to forgive!
Incest is despicable, yet it may happen and majority of the time , many may never know about it, unless sitting on the church board and even then, the board members being faithful members do not propagate the information. To keep the avenue of restitution open, having the most effectiveness, a pastor or head elder goes to the sinner not widely known sin in private. Now in Paul’s case it seemed to be widely known. We can be God’s servants in servanthood for the opportunity of restitution. The lesson does deal a little with restoring . Now, we don’t ostracize a person who has repented, is not the act of coming back to church to seek the Lord seeking forgiveness? Yes, in many instances it is, and who are we to judge? 1 Corinthians 5:12. In 1 Corinthians 5:13, I believe Paul is saying don’t partake in sin with them rather treat them like a Christian in a Christian setting. Like the prodigal son the father welcomes back home, with arms wide open, the prodigal son came back with a spirit of desiring a better life, so it is with a sinner he gets a welcome from our Heavenly Father, and from us, a good example is at the fellowship dinner we don’t go with the clique, we find someone new or coming back, to set at their table to show yourself friendly, and don’t be pushy, just be a friend indeed. Paul said, ” don’t eat with them.” Then he said lest you fall to temptation,” He did not mean don’t take them home to dinner with you or don’t take them out to eat, you then have the choice of environment for encouragement, as a friend, not a secularist(secularism begins as soon as I see my choice’s and my desires as the law), but a genuine Christian friend. Our steadfast example is what I am talking about. Ignore the bar on the other side of the restaurant. Whew to much advice in one lesson?
It Is No Secret
The chimes of time ring out the news.
Another day is through.
Someone slipped and fell,
Was that someone you?
You may have longed for added strength,
Your courage to renew.
Do not be disheartened for I bring news to you.
It is no secret what God can do.
What He’s done for others, He’ll do for you.
With arms wide open, He’ll pardon you.
It is no secret what God can do.
by Straut Hamblin
As we deal with people, it is no secret that we need to watch our tongues lest we be caught in the sins of judgement and condemnation. Basically, the past sinner also needs a friend as much as the other 6 friends in the church, necessary to keep the church populated. Pick up the phone, visit if possible. Text them. Yes, we are in the reconciliation businesses, maybe just a good listener, asking enough questions to keep the conversation going and to steer it to Christ, if so impressed to do so, by the Right Spirit.
God bless as we near the close of earth’s history. on a brighter note, listen to Dwight Nelson for encouragement of our Lord’s soon coming, as well as getting into the Sabbath School lesson this week. Just type into search on YouTube, Rooted Dwight Nelson, or click on the link below.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ub_1oyEoYNQ&t=2s
[Sermon begins around the 1:31:45 mark]
John, I am concerned to read
Incest with a minor is also a crime under US law. And if you are referring to such a situation, it seems wrong for the church to take civil matters into its own hands.
That sort of concern for the perpetrator usually harms the victim and allows the perpetrator to continue while hiding his behavior better.
I don’t know whether you reside in the US or whether the situation involved a minor. I just wanted to issue a caution regarding the apparently “righteous” conduct of not reporting crimes to the police. Paul’s teaching regarding avoiding secular courts referred primarily to civil disputes between church members, and he was clear about expelling a church member involved in an incestuous relationship. However, the church’s expulsion of a member should not prevent the mandatory reporting of criminal activity to the civil authorities.
As I mentioned in yesterday’s comment, we all have blind spots in our lives. A bad habit, weakness, call it whatever you want, it’s not good. We therefore should be harshest with our own sin and failings. We need to remember that shame and condemnation never changed anyone for the better.
How did Jesus deal with the sin of adultery, which in that time was a capital offense and carried the death penalty? The Pharisees had set him up hoping to get rid of both the woman and Jesus for being tolerant of a serious moral offense. Jesus saw through their scheme and turned it against them.
Was Jesus soft on sin? No, I don’t believe that he was. Yet even in his rebukes he had compassion. He told the woman caught in adultery that he didn’t condemn her, and then he commanded her to leave her life of sin. That type of grace is transformational, and it was for her that day.
Society says it’s your life, do what you want to do. God’s Word says that’s not true. We were bought, redeemed, from a cruel, and harsh taskmaster, Satan. Therefore we should honor God in our bodies because they aren’t our own. (1 Cor. 6:20) Jesus holds the title to them because he paid an infinite price to rescue us from sin. This is why all discipline should aim to be redemptive not punitive.
We must be people of biblical grace, not toxic grace where anything goes because after all, we’re only human. No, true biblical grace doesn’t excuse sin, it empowers to overcome it. May we be people of grace that overcomes the world. We can all do better. By God’s grace we will.
It is very interesting to me as to how, “The Apostle Paul,” has no “COUNSEL,” regarding “The Woman” involved here, as if that woman had no “Choice,” in allowing the man who used her for this “Incesteous behaviour.”
Pete, she most likely was not a member of the church.
I agree with Beverley. She was probably not a member. I doubt that she had no choice given that this behavior was taboo even in the pagan world.
I appreciate the lesson writer including this statement at the close of the lesson: “Church discipline reaches its purpose when the erring member is reintegrated into church fellowship.” But where does it start? If he/she is not allowed into the Sabbath-worship-fellowship, where does he/she go to learn Scripture Truth and to worship God in Spirit and Truth?
To help ‘sinners’ needing help to continue benefitting from the good influence of fellowship, it would be advised to have a small ‘bible study group’ set up to benefit the excluded member. Not to discuss the ‘discipline’ the person faces – expulsion, dis-fellowship -, but rather to help build a better foundation through education and interpretation of the Word of God. Prayer support is essential during a deep, soul-searching encounter.
Jesus asked the Father to give us the Holy Spirit to lead us into all Truth. I can see no greater blessing coming to all when allowing the Holy Spirit to use His Power to convict. It requires that the ‘helping’ participants do not take a position of authority, but rather of a fellow student studying Scripture together. The person being helped needs to understand that all sin, and because of this, we all are in need of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ’s forgiveness.
Our heavenly Father assured us to save us from condemnation if we acknowledge our shortcommings and dedicate our life to be guided by His Spirit as we live within His Son. Studying together with the person identified as having great problems with knowing Jesus Christ, as well as faith and trust in the Father, will benefit all – we all need to be encouraged as we deal with ‘carrying our cross’.
I can see the hearts and minds of all believers to receive a great blessing when expounding the Word of God without prejudice. We are all in need of help from God. He is ready to give us the good gift of the Holy Spirit. All we need to do is ask Him. Luke 11:11-13.
Hi Brigitte, The Adventist church does not practice “shunning.” Thus everyone is welcome to attend Sabbath services (unless they make a disturbance), including disfellowshipped former members.
Disfellowshipping is a warning to persons that they are not on the path of salvation, and that they need to reform. It also means that they cannot represent themselves as Seventh-day Adventists to nonmembers. But they are not excluded from Sabbath Services. They are treated like “heathens,” and we actively seek “heathens” to come into fellowship and follow the Lord Jesus.
Another thing, persons who want to study the Bible and fellowship with believers are highly unlikely to be disfellowshipped. People are not normally disfellowshipped against their will, except in extreme circumstances of moral failure.
In today’s world, this can be difficult because anyone who lovingly corrects another believer may be seen as being “holier than thou.” However, God’s Word calls His church to balance truth and love. We must not ignore sin, but when correction is needed, it should be done with humility, prayer and a genuine desire to restore the person to a right relationship with God—not to condemn them. At the same time we must examine ourselves daily, remembering that we too can be tempted and fall if we are not watchful (Galatians 6:1; 1 Corinthians 10:12). Our attitude should always be one of grace, accountability, and restoration rather than gossip, pride or judgment. May God help us all.
My question:
Is masturbation a sexual sin? I know that sister White speaks about it, but I would like a clearer understanding.
Hello Ron! Welcome to Sabbath-School Net an online interactive virtual Sabbath-School class. That’s a doozy of a first comment or question, 🤔😉 but a legitimate question nonetheless which I’m sure you are not alone in wondering. My first thought was, why did it have to come in on my watch as moderator? 🤔😉😆
My first impression is if Ellen White was inspired (I believe she was), and she said it was a sinful practice, then I accept that because the scriptures do not directly address it except in principle. My first thought was how Jesus expanded adultery from an act to a lustful look, which translates into a lustful thought, which are usually connected with masturbation. So though Jesus didn’t directly deal with the subject, I believe that the underlying principle was covered by him.
Having said that I would like to refer you to what I felt was an open and forthright handing of the subject, from a Christian perspective and further than I am willing to address it myself on this forum, though I am mostly in agreement with their handling of the subject. I strongly agree with the bottom line in the article.
Masturbation—is it a sin according to the Bible? | GotQuestions.org https://share.google/b0QwNGlGxcXkCXYUf
The Bible really does not talk about masturbation, though I agree with Tim that Jesus’ warnings against lust do relate. We probably do need to be careful in our pronouncements about it as it is not mentioned in the Levitical laws which did condemn many sexual practices. That being said, perhaps the Jewish people wouldn’t even have considered masturbating, given that it has no procreative function.
However, masturbation counters God’s intention for sex, which is designed to bond a husband and wife together. When sex is self-oriented, it is far less than what God intended. Masturbation really is a selfish, self-focused act and not in the spirit of the way God wants us to live. When people are involved in it before they are married, it can allow them to develop patterns that they bring into their marriage and hinder the development of a sexual relationship that is as God intended. You can’t just focus on yourself sexually and expect that you will suddenly be other focused just because you are married.
People can also develop habits where masturbation is used to “self-soothe” and it can be easy to turn to it when stressed, sad, lonely and so on. In these situations, it can become a compulsion, not so different from alcohol or other addictions. I don’t think God wants to be a slave to anything and masturbation can certainly fit that category.
However, I think sometimes the church has almost treated masturbation as the unpardonable sin and some parents have reacted very poorly when they find out their child is involved in it. As far as sexual sins go, I do not think it is equivalent to adultery, incest, rape and so on. I do think it is less than ideal and as Christians we should strive for God’s ideal. However, it can be a pattern hard to break. The process of healing can be challenging. I think, like most compulsions and addictions, gettting the victory over this habit is most likely if one identifies what hurts and struggles are driving this behavior and asking God to heal those issues.