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08: Words of Wisdom – Thought Starters — 4 Comments

  1. One of the biggest regrets of my life was my lack of knowledge and understanding of the role of a parent. I had the most wonderful mother who successfully raised all three of us on her own. She brought us up with love and values that have sustained us throughout our lives.
    However the one thing I did not learn or understand was how she did it.

    My temperament is classified by Kiersey as Guardian/Inspector, which means I have a high regard for rules and checking to make sure that people comply with the rules. So to me Parenting = Discipline.
    I have discovered that I am not the only one!

    Only now in my later years have I discovered that the principle role of a parent is not short term obedience but long term development of character.

    It is so much easier to tell a child, do it because I said so or even do it or you will be punished. It takes more time, thought and care to use the situation as a learning opportunity to train and build the child's values. Luckily now days there are many resources available to assist with biblical parenting.

    The most scary thing is the effect the type of parenting has on the next generation's idea of their relationship with the LORD. I believe this is an important aspect of the reason why we see young people "raised in the church" leaving the church when they leave home.

  2. I deem it a privilege studying the Sabbath school lessons with you on this network. I am so pleased with comments coming from many of you; esp. Hugh, Tyler and not the least Hurford. It is so interesting sharing inspiring testimonies. We are all in the right direction and with the Lord on our side, we shall be winners. Anita's experience should not deter her at all but rather it should spur her on to better things in her church. She should be an example for others to . God bless us all

  3. Shirley,
    Thank you for sharing a wonderful arrival in your development and learning.
    Hope you don't mind me inserting a shift in emphasis.
    When we learn the blessings of love, as your Mom so wonderfully expressed (and you learned from her about parenting), and part of that love is the meaning of high values, as Mom so wonderfully guided (and you learned from her about parenting), we in our current nature struggle with the tension between the two: love and justice, love and obedience. We cannot avoid this tension. As young parents, we loved and learned what our parents did, but have not yet learned how they resolved the tension.

    Truly loving our children, but having not resolved how love is the Law (in God's book), in order to stand by our values/standards, we shift to control as our method, for we ourselves feel out of control. Our overemphasis on the law, obedience, justice over-weighs our love and leaves us in greater tension, unfulfilled, losing the battle (of control). Unless we realize and talk to our Father about it, we will have to go through the learning process.

    The miracle of our Father's love, which worked in Mom, integrates values and obedience with His love. The shorter method is to go to our Father and ask Him for it, even before we get married, so we can begin to experience "God is LOVE", "Love is the fulfilling of the Law", Mother was a wonderful loving woman with high values. We become by His grace, the integration of love and justice.

    We wish sometimes that we can learn faster. We can. Thanks for sharing.


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