Friday: Further Thought - The Choices We Make

Further Thought: All through Scripture, we are confronted with the reality of human free will. Even the unfallen Adam and Eve (Genesis chapter 3) had free will, and they unfortunately made the wrong choice with it. If unfallen beings, in perfection, could misuse free will, how much more so beings like ourselves, steeped in sin?

Image © Stan Myers from GoodSalt.com

And we need to remember that free will is just that, free, which means that, regardless of the pressure on us, both from within and without, we don’t have to choose what is wrong. We can, through the power of God in us, make the right choices with the free will God has given us. Thus, how important that we carefully weigh our decisions, especially thinking about how those decisions can impact our family lives. The free-will choice of Cain to kill his brother surely devastated his family. The free-will decision of Joseph’s brothers to sell him into slavery ruined their father’s life. “And he recognized it and said, ‘It is my son’s tunic. A wild beast has devoured him.Without doubt Joseph is torn to pieces’. Then Jacob tore his clothes, put sackcloth on his waist, and mourned for his son many days. And all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted, and he said, ‘For I shall go down into the grave to my son in mourning’. Thus his father wept for him” (Gen. 37:33-35, NKJV).

All through the Bible, as in life, we can find examples of how the free choices of family members, for good or evil, impact others, such as the choices of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram (Num. 16:1-32; see also Dan. 6:23, 24; Gen. 18:19).

Discussion Questions:

What are some of the free choices you made today? What do they tell you about yourself and your relationship with God and with others? Of the choices you made, which ones, if any, do you wish you had made differently?
What Bible characters made wrong choices, and what can we learn from their mistakes? How did their wrong choices negatively impact their families?
No question: we all have regrets about wrong choices we have made. Why, in times of those regrets, is the gospel such good news? What promises from the Bible have you claimed in times of distress and guilt over wrong choices?
If some people were to come to you talking about marriage, what advice would you give them, and why? What principles can you point to from the Word of God to help them work through this important decision?

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I suspect that many of us who participate in the discussion on this blog are older rather than younger. We resonate with the sound advice about choosing friends, life partners, and careers. However, those of us who can still remember our youth honestly, probably remember how we would react to such advice in our youth. I wasn’t particularly rebellious in my youth, but I do remember my Mum crying because she thought she was a failure in bringing up me and my siblings. I guess I was a teenager at the time and suffering from the headstrong idea that I knew better than my old fuddy-duddy parents.

Solomon had some advice for young people:

Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. Ecc 11:9

And this …

Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them; Ecc 12:1

While we can all see the wisdom of this advice in our maturity, when you are young and invincible that sort of wisdom often falls on deaf ears.

Wisdom grows with experience and unfortunately, youth are pretty short on experience. Dealing with youth, whether they are your own family or other young people in your sphere of influence is hard work. We want to tell them what to do and yet we know in our heart of hearts that approach is not going to work. The method that has worked best for me where young people are willing to listen, is to discuss all the options and consequences of their decisions and then leave the choice open to them. Telling them what decision they should make often causes resentment. Just keeping the channels of communication open, even when they make wrong decisions helps.

David’s prayer:

Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness' sake, O Lord. Ps 25:7

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Comments

Friday: Further Thought – The Choices We Make — 8 Comments

Maurice Ashton on April 11, 2019 at 1:46 pm said:

I suspect that many of us who participate in the discussion on this blog are older rather than younger. We resonate with the sound advice about choosing friends, life partners, and careers. However, those of us who can still remember our youth honestly, probably remember how we would react to such advice in our youth. I wasn’t particularly rebellious in my youth, but I do remember my Mum crying because she thought she was a failure in bringing up me and my siblings. I guess I was a teenager at the time and suffering from the headstrong idea that I knew better than my old fuddy-duddy parents.

Solomon had some advice for young people:

Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. Ecc 11:9

And this …

Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them; Ecc 12:1

While we can all see the wisdom of this advice in our maturity, when you are young and invincible that sort of wisdom often falls on deaf ears.

Wisdom grows with experience and unfortunately, youth are pretty short on experience. Dealing with youth, whether they are your own family or other young people in your sphere of influence is hard work. We want to tell them what to do and yet we know in our heart of hearts that approach is not going to work. The method that has worked best for me where young people are willing to listen, is to discuss all the options and consequences of their decisions and then leave the choice open to them. Telling them what decision they should make often causes resentment. Just keeping the channels of communication open, even when they make wrong decisions helps.

David’s prayer:

Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness' sake, O Lord. Ps 25:7

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- JC Zielak on April 12, 2019 at 2:01 am said:
  
  At younger age, sometimes we may feel we control everything. But even with the coming of age, some people do not loose the ability to get into trouble because of bad decisions. The thing is that at younger age we are supposed to make more mistakes because we have no experience. Experience can make all difference. What we choose of free will and feel the consequences supposedly marks deeply. Thus, it is natural and commom that youngsters choose wrong. But most important is to have at least some of the right tools to face defeat! Being there for the less experienced and advising based on personal living can be of great value, but it is keen to remember that choices are personal, and responsability lies around us till a certain limit. Sooner or later everyone faces the road alone! May we all learn to rely more on God's love for everything.
  
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Analiza maxilom on April 11, 2019 at 5:22 pm said:

Every time we make decision we just pray first.

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- Maurice Ashton on April 11, 2019 at 11:37 pm said:
  
  While I agree that we should pray first that does not absolve us from the responsibility of gathering and processing information. We typically need to pray that we get the right information.
  
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Shirley de Beer on April 11, 2019 at 5:56 pm said:

With choice goes consequence, this is the lesson parents have to teach their children.
When they are little we often have to choose for them to protect them or to preserve harmony in the family.
The same issues are faced in society.
Democracy only works when all agree to abide by the same principles.
God faces the same dilemma, He knows what is best for us but wants us to choose the best not to be forced against our will, so He has allowed the great controversy to be played out to show the Universe the consequences of various choices.

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Kevin R James on April 12, 2019 at 5:24 am said:

So much decision making is based in unconscious interactions between our thoughts and habits. As we are renewed by the transforming of our minds, choices become more aligned with God's will in a more automatic way. Character determines destiny. Character being the source of most of our choices, large or small. It's not the occasion misdeeds, big or small, that reveal who we are, but the general tenor of life. We make good and bad choices and as we grow in the truth as it is in Jesus our decisions will reflect Him more fully.

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Talonga Pita on April 12, 2019 at 2:44 pm said:

"Our choices create consequences
Our decisions determine our destiny."

Therefore, our choices in the past determined where we are right now and our choices right now will determine where we will be in the future.

Note that the order of making our choices based on the lesson this week is to put God first, our spouse and our work as the last one. All these choices are to be made with eternal values and consequences in mind.

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- Maurice Ashton on April 12, 2019 at 3:42 pm said:
  
  We need to be careful about the notion that we should put God first and our spouse and work last. I understand what you mean, but on the other hand, a perception of God that puts your spouse last is dangerous. I have first-hand knowledge of those who have felt that is God is calling them and that they should ignore the needs and wise counsel of their spouses. Too many ministers have found themselves in marital trouble because they have been so involved in God's work that they have ignored the needs of their wives and family. If in putting God first results in putting your spouse last, then maybe it is time to consider whether your choice for God, is, in fact, a selfish choice rather than a Spirit-led decision.
  
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