Humility Is Not Humiliating
Jesus taught humility while upholding human dignity.
So He told a parable to those who were invited, when He noted how they chose the best places, saying to them: “When you are invited by anyone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in the best place, lest one more honorable than you be invited by him; and he who invited you and him come and say to you, ‘Give place to this man,’ and then you begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit down in the lowest place, so that when he who invited you comes, he may say to you, ‘Friend, go up higher.’ Then you will have glory in the presence of those who sit at the table with you. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 14:7-11 NKJV
Here, Jesus teaches us how to be humble and how to protect ourselves from humiliation. By assuming the lowest place, we avoid being humiliated by being asked to step down. While the gospel destroys human pride, Jesus protects human dignity. After all, in John 2:1-10, Jesus turns water into wine and performs His first miracle to save a host from embarrassment. In John 8:1-11, Jesus protects the dignity of a woman tricked into adultery, while also protecting the dignity of the accomplices by writing in the sand instead of publicly calling them out. We don’t know exactly what Jesus wrote in the sand, and it makes me wonder whether Jesus told John not to tell anyone what he read that day, to protect the dignity of those He was striving to convert. If so, Revelation 10:4 would be the second time John was told not to write what he heard or read. But I digress.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Jesus taught us how to be humble without being humiliated. To me, the difference between humility and humiliation comes down to control. We humans love to be in control of ourselves, and that is not all bad. After all, according to Galatians 5:22-23, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. So, self-control is a good thing, and Jesus teaches us how to be humble while still being in control of ourselves.
When I was 11, several family members were at my grandmother’s house for a funeral. Everyone was receiving their sleeping arrangements, and after my grandmother checked to make sure everyone was okay with their bedding, she turned to me and said, “The only place left for you is the sofa in the living room.” While I was happy to sleep on the sofa, or floor for that matter, I was insulted and humiliated that I was told instead of asked. Especially since everyone else, including other children, were asked. I wanted the dignity of being in control and volunteering to sleep on the sofa instead of being forced.
Looking back at the situation with adult eyes now, I understand the people, including children, who were asked where they wanted to sleep were more directly related to the dearly departed than I was. Also, my grandmother was grieving the loss of her sister, so I could have been more understanding. I could also have spoken up earlier and said I would just sleep on the sofa or anywhere. But hey, I was just a kid. The point is, I understand what Jesus was talking about when He taught us to exercise self-control and take the lowest place before it is assigned to us, and we lose control. I hope I have also learned how to protect the dignity of younger people while teaching them humility. Humility should not be humiliating. Desiring that type of control is not a sin. Remember, the Holy Spirit gives us self-control.
A friend told me that when she was new to a company, and on a business flight, she did not realize she had taken the vice president’s seat. It was later pointed out to her by a seasoned associate towards the end of the flight. However, when the vice president saw a new intern sitting in his seat, he said nothing and went to the back of the plane, taking the last seat left. He did not want to embarrass a new employee, and besides, he not only had self-control but also the self-confidence to realize that the vice president’s seat was whatever seat he was sitting in.
In the Book of Esther, Haman could have learned a lesson from this vice president and saved his neck instead of getting all bent out of shape when Mordecai did not bow to him. On the other hand, Daniel exercised self-control when he was insulted by the king in Daniel 5:13. Daniel had enough self-confidence that he could let that insult roll right off his back.
Remember, when weak people are disrespected, they seek revenge. When people who are strong in the Lord are disrespected, they forgive. When brilliant people are disrespected, they ignore the disrespect.
Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult. Proverbs 12:16 NIV
The gospel destroys human pride while protecting human dignity. Using self-control to be humble is not humiliating. Failing to use self-control to be humble is humiliating.
