Monday: Despised and Rejected of Men
Read the following verses, all the while keeping in mind the fact that Jesus was divine, the Creator of heaven and earth, and that He came to offer Himself as a sacrifice for the sins of the whole world (Matthew 12:22-24; Luke 4:21-30; John 8:58-59). How do these verses help us understand the sufferings that Jesus faced here on earth?
Whether by leaders, or even by the common people, Jesus’ life, acts, and teachings were constantly misunderstood, leading to rejection and hatred by people He came to save.
Image © Krieg Barrie at Goodsalt.com
In a certain sense it must be like a parent who sees a wayward child in need of help, and though the parent is willing to give everything for that child, the child spurns the parent, heaping scorn and rejection upon perhaps the only person who can spare that child from utter ruin. That’s what Jesus faced while here on earth. How painful it must have been for Him.
Read Matthew 23:37. What does it tell us about how Christ felt about the rejection? As you read, ask yourself, too, “Was He feeling bad for Himself (as we often do when facing rejection), or was it for another reason?” If for another reason, what was it?
We’ve all felt the sting of rejection, and maybe our pain was similar to Christ’s in that it was unselfish: We were pained, not because we were rejected, but because of what the rejection would mean for the one who was rejecting us (perhaps someone we care about who refuses to accept salvation in Christ). Imagine, though, how it must have felt to Jesus, who was fully aware of what He was to face in order to save them, and at the same time fully aware of what the consequences of their rejection would be. “It was because of His innocence that He [Christ] felt so keenly the assaults of Satan.” — Ellen G. White, Selected Messages, book 3, p. 129.
| What can you learn from Christ that can help you better cope with the pain of rejection? What does His example show you? How can you apply it to your own life? |
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The first verses in our lesson for today suggest that the leaders of Israel were jealous of this young upstart preacher to whom the people listened so eagerly.
Matt. 23:37 shows us that Christ so loved the people who were rejecting Him that He wasn't thinking if Himself at all but mourned for the temporal tragedy that was soon to fall on the city and its people - and, even more, He mourned the eternal loss of the people who were rejecting their only means of salvation. He wasn't thinking of Himself at all.
For at least 10 years I've fought against someone very close because of the bad choices this person was making. I thought that I myself could be able to change something. The more I tried, the worst the conflict became. I was getting physically sick because of the stuborness of this person. But I was wrong! The stuborness was my own. I was actually fighting myself. The only thing I could and should have done, from the begining all the way, was to hang on to the Lord, COMPLETELY. I myself was the one who really needed to fully accept God's will for my life. I was the one who truly needed to believe that acceptance of God's grace was enough, and all the rest would be added to it. When I learnt that, things completely changed. It was difficult and very hard (still is), but in God's mercy I was shown the way, as I COMPLETELY SURRENDERED to Him. Today, I still see this person's choices as opposed to mine, but perhaps there must be some light on the way! And eventhough I can be totally rejected by someone around me, while I totally accept God's will for my life, there is a feeling of hope, peace and protection!
All things are possible with God.
In response to the final questions in the lesson, I believe the answer is to stop focusing on ourselves and to focus on Christ's mission in this wold, that is the salvation of those with whom we come in contact.
That will happen naturally as we strive to have the mind if Jesus in us (Phil. 2:5-11) by spending time with Him daily. That will result in feeling so sheltered in His presence that the rejection and scorn meant for us will fall first on Him, and we will not take it personally. Paul put it differently - as being crucified with Chrust (Gal.2:20). Dead people feel no pain!
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And yet, Inge, piles of Bible characters felt rejection and expressed it. Just read a few Psalms and you will see this. Even a heavy weight like Moses expressed disappointment at how the people treated him. We talked about Elijah last week. Samuel seems to have taken the rejection as a prophet personally. And as for Paul, his very last letter shows disappointment that everyone except Luke had abandoned him. Dead people have no feelings? I'm not sure. Yes, we can spiritualize all of these situations and say they were upset that the people had rejected God, but I think the personal element is there if you look closely.
Jesus is the ultimate example, and yes, we want to work towards focusing so much on Him that what others do will not impact us. But it is a journey and I'm not sure that we will ever get 100% there. For now, I take encouragement that we can take our feelings to Him and He will help us. And if we struggle, many others have struggled before and God still accepted them as people of faith. He isn't going to beat us up the way others often do.
Yes, Christina, Bible characters were human like us and exhibited the same failings we do. Yet the promise/possibility is there. Yes, it is a growth process, and I thank God for what He has done for me already in that area. But perhaps I have an advantage in having been a high school teacher. Thus I learned fairly early in life not to take things personally, because "they know not what they do." Then I learned to apply this to the adults in my life. I learned to see things as "happening in front of me" not to me. I can't begin to express how liberating it is to see things as "happening in front of me, not to me." Unless something is truly my fault - in which case I need to make amends as quickly as possible - I can see it as "their stuff, not mine." And, yes, I can pray for them because I know what damage a critical spirit does to people.
Elijah was depressed, but he didn't need to be. God would have done an even greater work in Israel, if Elijah had stood up to Jezebel and put his trust in God. At the same time, the story reveals the compassion of the Lord towards us, even when we give in to the temptation to fail to trust Him in times of crisis. Elijah's response was very understandable, given that he was likely physically and emotionally exhausted, but it was not inevitable.
David expresses his complaints eloquently in the psalms, but by the end of each psalm, he rests his case with God. I love that. We can express our disappointment/complaints to God, and rest our case with Him. I've pretty much memorized the following quote, and it has been a big help to me. When I am not at peace, I know where to go for the solution:
In response to the concluding questions in today's lesson, I offer the following for what it's worth...
As a generalisation, the kind of despised and/or rejected that is being talked about in today's lesson is frequently due to the presence of two key dynamics. And as such, it is most typically a reflection of a self rather than other-based orientation. One dynamic is, as the lesson suggests, someone not meeting the expectations of another. For example, many people had expectations that Jesus would raise up a worldly 'military' kingdom that would forcibly liberate the Jews from Roman rule and instead establish Israel as a dominant governing power (compare with John 18:36).
A second dynamic is personal insecurity - the inability to accept and cope with someone else not meeting your expectations. As you may be able to appreciate, this personal insecurity prevents a person from being able to allow someone else the freedom to not have to align with their expectations. This is an incredibly subtle yet at the same time powerfully influential phenomenon that reactively 'fuels' despising and rejecting. By contrast, a more healthfully secure person does not need others to meet/validate their expectations and is therefore not 'threatened' when such does not happen. Perhaps you can see that this characterised Jesus life and living (Isaiah 53:7).
Having your security based in God's validation of you (eg, Romans 5:8; 8:1, 31-32) and, upon that foundation, also committing to extending the same freedom to others that God does, will assist you to move away from despising and rejecting others yourself and/or also assist with neutralising the 'sting' of feeling despised and rejected by others. This is because both your focus (Matthew 16:24; Philippians 2:3-5) and your way of 'appraising' other's treatment of you will be progressively transformed with practice (Matthew 10:25; 5:11).
Thank you for outlining the causes and the remedy of most human feelings of rejection and the remedy for the same.
However, I see the lesson focusing on Christ as He was despised and rejected. Surely you are not saying that His feelings were "due to the two key dynamics" which you describe?
Thanks for asking for clarification. I did not see the lesson suggesting that Jesus felt despised and rejected and therefore I am not saying that His feelings were "due to the two key dynamics" that I described. However, Jesus was despised and rejected by most people (Isaiah 53:3) and I therefore commented on the two key dynamics that likely would have contributed to that.
Therefore, although Jesus was actually despised and rejected by others, He did not feel despised and rejected in the way humans often do because He was secure in God's validation of Him (Matthew 3:17; 17:5) and was committed to giving others the freedom to reject Him (as per Matthew 23:37).
Again, thanks for seeking clarification.
Thanks for the clarification, Phil. I didn't think you meant that Jesus was looking out for Himself, but your comment could be misinterpreted, I thought.
Phil - thank you for highlighting in layman's language that which I think to be at the root of most of mankind's troubles with each other - self-seeking -, protecting and promoting one's own ego.
As you point out, as Christian's, we receive the ability to have our minds and hearts renewed/transformed with practice. This provides the new 'focus' regarding the "way of 'appraising' other's treatment of us" - "other-based orientation." Again, thank you for helping to clarify!
A few years ago I shared with some friends that I felt bad about a couple of women who I have dated in the past, who rejected me only to go on and marry abusive men. I said how I felt bad because they could’ve had a better life with me. At the time my friends just thought I was on an ego trip but I was honestly more concerned about them. Today’s lesson validates my feelings that I was not on an ego trip. I was truly wishing that the women who rejected me and chose abusive men could have had a better life.
Personalizing rejection by others of ones ideas and opinions is, in my experience, the most common problem in communication ond exchanges with others. So often I find what Phil talked about as the “second dynamic” – personal insecurity - to be at the heart of the problem. I think it is of great importance to learn to separate the person from the act or idea which is being rejected. This goes both ways - receiving rejection and giving rejection.
Jesus was focused entirely on pleasing His heavenly Father and therefore did not take the rejection He experienced by those who He loved, personally.
As Phil explained so well, we ought to allow others the freedom to “not align with our expectations’; we ought not to take their choice to reject as a rejection of us, the person.
As I was learning and gaining more understanding, applying this at situations were I was tempted to react unkindly or wanted to feel personally rejected, I chose to think of my heavenly Father and what He would say to me. Would He accept what I stood for, what I said or did? And if He could accept what just transpired, than it was ok with me to have that which occurred rejected by those I tried to reach – Rom.8:1.
Humble silence, recognizing the difficulties in trying to reach others with God’s spiritual Truth conveyed through words, is usually the only way to respond to rejection. Jesus removed himself from the presence of those who became violently angry at him. Persuasion can only reach an open mind. Attempting through dialogue to contribute something new to the way a person thinks or reasons is, to say the least, difficult.
Yes, our heavenly Father renews our mind and heart. Therefore, in all our conduct we ought to honor and glorify the Father. He will teach us to know when to refrain from further dialogue.
Matt.5:11 – ”Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.”
Hi Brigitte
I praise God for the growth I see His Spirit bringing about in you.
Thank you for your encouraging words, Phil! To feel 'rejected', a 'newcomer', therefore an outsider to this country has been a challenge; in addition, we are a multiracial family. This brought about my leaning more and more on the strength of His Spirit to help me remain standing when being confronted with difficult circumstances related to rejection.
I agree that Jesus focus was totally focused on the loss people would experience by rejecting Him.
At the same time, I wonder if it is really selfish to feel bad because someone rejected you? Isn't that normal in at least some situations? For those of you are married, wouldn't you feel sad if your spouse went off with someone else? For those with children, wouldn't you feel sad if your children ignored you and didn't care? It seems we wouldn't be human if we didn't feel this personally.
As for Jesus, I can think of at least one situation where it seemed He felt bad for Himself - in the garden when He said "Could you not watch with me for an hour?" I suppose He could see that the disciples needed to watch and pray for their spiritual survival. And yet, He needed that support and it seems He was sad to not receive it from those closest to Him.
Help me out here.
I believe God placed the need to feel loved in his creatures even before sin became an issue. And I believe God in His own character feels this need so that when He is rejected His pain is not only for those who have rejected Him. And I believe the greatest illustration of this is when on the cross Jesus, Who was sinless, cried out to His Father, “My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?
Good points, Christina. In re-reading the "Gethsame" chapter in The Desire of Ages, it was very clear that Jesus longed for the support of His disciples, but He didn't blame them for falling asleep. Maybe that's the critical difference which I find difficult to describe - the elements of blame and self-pity are missing from godly emotions, even while loneliness and suffering may be very much part of the Christian life.
Does that make sense? (I know in my heart that there's a difference, but I hadn't really thought much about it before.)
Yes, I think you are right. I think the emotions are not the problem, but what we do with them. Sadness and disappointment is normal, but bitterness and treating others badly because of these emotions is sin.
For me, I want to see Jesus as a human who felt the emotions we felt, though not sinning of course. If He never felt them, He couldn't understand us. We can accept that Jesus was hungry, tired etc. Being close to God did not take away those physical sensations, so I don't think being close to God would take away human emotion either.
Hi Christina
I appreciate you raising questions and issues.
In regard to your question, it depends on what kind of felt bad you are talking about and, relatedly, what the underpinning associated heart state is (1 Samuel 16:7). Being created for a perfect world and yet being temporarily 'confined' to a sin-infected world is a recipe for feeling bad - hence Romans 8:20-23,26.
Another way to look at it is if we were to 'indulge' the particular bad feeling in a particular instance, which direction would we find that leading us? In a self-seeking, self-pitying direction that begins to foster resentment or an other-benefiting one that fosters authentic compassion?
In regard to your thoughts re Jesus experience in Gethsemane, it would seem He experienced the truth of something He had said to Adam thousands of years earlier - it is not good for a human to be alone (Genesis 2:18).
Just some of my thoughts to get the ball rolling...
I'm really delighted that such a relevant series of studies, with which all humans can relate, began and is ending focused on Christ! The "Shepherd" of Lesson 1 is the same suffering Christ here in Lesson 13.
From Genesis to Revelation, Scripture is loaded with a variety of metaphors containing truths critical to the restoration of the fallen human "soul". The memory text of Lesson 1 (Ps 23:3) when combined with Ps 23:1-2, conveys the powerful, cogent truth that the "shepherd" assumes a singular leadership role in the restoration of the "souls" He is shepherding. But what if the metaphor were to be misapplied, and a soul in need of the Shepherd's--David's "Lord" (Ps 23:1)--restoration was told that the "shepherd" was someone or something other than David's "Lord", could that dilute, or even thwart, the Shepherd's restorative objective (Mt 4:4; Ps 119:11)?
This week's memory text (Mt 27:46) records Earth's Savior crying out loudly while on the cross, "...My God, My God, why have YOU FORSAKEN Me?". Was this just the final, self-preserving scream from a physically depleted, tortured, and anguished Savior's mind? Why did He cry "out with a loud voice" a question He clearly knew the answer to from prophetic Scripture? (Isa 53:5-6,10-11; Mt 26:24,28,31). I believe Jesus did not lose hold of His mind, even while physically drained and in pain on the cross. His mind was clear enough to express care arrangement for His mother (Jn 19:26-27), converse with the thieves on His flanks (Lk 23:42-43), and confirm the accuracy and reliability of Scripture (Ps 22:1,16,18; Jn 19:28,30; Ps 69:21; Ps 31:5). Therefore, His loud utterance was not just the random scream of a tortured man. It was a truthful declaration that accorded with Scripture, that He was in fact the "FORSAKEN" of God...while He was still alive!
Jesus, even before the intensity of His crucifixion, acknowledged that there would be a dark side to His experience. HE TAUGHT, in accordance with Scripture (Num 21:7-8), that the metaphorical "fiery serpent" was a depiction of Him on the cross (Jn 3:14-15)! He knew from Scripture that He was in fact the "scapegoat" of Lev 16:10 (NKJV). He knew that He--and He ALONE--was God's choice to bear away human sin AND provide ATONEMENT according to Scripture (Lev 16:21-22; Isa 53:11-12)...Yes, Jesus was not just "despised and rejected by men" (Isa 53:3), He was more importantly the "FORSAKEN" of God (Lev 16:10 NKJV) in order to "restore" our "soul" (2 Cor 5:21)!
Truth should be the plant that springs from the "grain of wheat" that "falls into the earth and dies" (Jn 12:24)..."much" plants producing His truth (Jn 4:23-24).