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No More Wiped-Off Kisses: Forgiving and Loving My Dad — 6 Comments

  1. Jesus is SOOooooo loving and gracious enough to for give us, even when we can’t for give our selves.
    I have that going on in my Family at this very moment. I have tried to talk to one of the persons involved, but afraid to talk to other one for fear of retaliation. My only hope is in Jesus Only He can work this out. I want to see my family healed and saved.

  2. Thank you Jennifer for sharing your story and for pointing out that we don't have to be apologizad to in order to forgive. Also in Matthew 18:21-35 the servant never asked for the debt to be cancelled but only for more time to pay the debt. He was still forgiven. Someone once pointed out that there is no person we will ever have to forgive as many times as Jesus has forgiven us.

  3. Dear Jennifer,
    Thank you for sharing your heart with us. You wrote, "I came to understand God’s forgiveness toward me, and the sheer relief of that lifted burden made protective anger unnecessary. My own shame and guilt uprooted took with them any guilt and shame I would impose on another."

    Could a spirit of bitterness, shame or guilt in our own lives be a symptom of not really understanding God's forgiveness? A symptom of missing something really important in the plan of salvation?

    I also note your mention of "protective anger." It sounds like anger that is aroused when we feel self being attacked - and that is a large portion of the anger in this world. It reminds me of this beautiful passage from Thoughts of the Mount of Blessing by contrast:

    Human nature is ever struggling for expression, ready for contest; but he who learns of Christ is emptied of self, of pride, of love of supremacy, and there is silence in the soul. Self is yielded to the disposal of the Holy Spirit. ...
    It is the love of self that destroys our peace. While self is all alive, we stand ready continually to guard it from mortification and insult; but when we are dead, and our life is hid with Christ in God, we shall not take neglects or slights to heart. We shall be deaf to reproach and blind to scorn and insult.[Thoughts from the Mount of Blessings, p. 15]

  4. Thank you Jennifer for this story. I also had similar experience growing up until a time when I realized that dad was just a person with flaws and as long as I keep resentment it would block me to enjoy his love and care. I forgiven him not because he changed and I remain thankful for the good he is. We still have good relationship and I pray for him to realise his problems.

  5. Many times people have done us heinous evil. But is it easier to forgive a stranger than to forgive someone who we knew? True forgiveness comes from the heart and it is only by the power of the Holy Spirit living in ones' heart can true forgiveness occurs. Does forgiveness means forgetfulness? Does forgiveness means to stop looking at your 'back' should that person comes again a second time to be a 'back stabber'. E.g if a person was an accountant and steals the money from you/organization. You forgive, but should you reinstall the person to their former position? No. Many does not knew and understood the true sense of forgiveness in the bible.

  6. Wow Jennifer!How timely. God had this show up right when I needed to see it. I find myself in such a position at this very moment. Haven't seen or heard from my daughter in about a year. She refuses all contact with me. We had the home you spoke of. I have sent her an email seeking reconciliation with zero response. At this point I have left it in God's hand to work it out. My additional concern is that this will lead her to separate from God. I think thats my worse fear at this point. Again thanks for the perspective


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