Sunday: Sin and Friends
Read Proverbs 17:9, Prov. 19:11. What crucial point is being made in these texts? How should we deal with others who fall?
Image © Rolf Jansson from GoodSalt.com
When someone messes up, it’s so tempting to spread the story, to tell others. Have you heard about what so-and-so did? Though we might act as if we are appalled by the action, we still like telling others about what happened. In short, we are gossiping, and that’s what we’re being warned against, because this behavior will generate contention, even between close friends. After all, if a friend of yours messes up, what kind of friend are you if you go around telling others about it?
We are advised instead to cover
the mistake. This is not, however, to imply that we have to hide the sin, to act as if it never happened, as if the person never did wrong. The sin that is covered is still present, even though hidden. In fact, the Hebrew word for cover
in that expression has the specific connotation of forgiving
(Ps. 85:2, Neh. 4:5). Love, not gossip, should be our response to someone else’s mistake.
Read Proverbs 17:17 and 1 Corinthians 13:5–7. How does love help in coping with a friend’s mistake?
One does not love a friend or spouse because he or she is perfect. We love in spite of their mistakes and flaws. Only through love do we learn not to judge others, because with our own faults and shortcomings we could be just as guilty. Instead, we can mourn with them over what they have done, and seek in whatever way we can to help them work through it. After all, what are friends for if not for this?
Think about a time you messed up badly and you were forgiven, ministered to, and comforted. What does that tell you about how, if possible, you should, do the same for others?
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It is probably not so difficult to keep a friend's secret transgression to one's self when there is a cordial feeling between the two.
However when one is hurt there is psychological pressure to share, for many are conditioned to find relief in sharing. Through modern psychology the world is taught to tell others about the transgression, rather than take it to the Lord in prayer. It somehow makes people feel better that they have exposed the wrongdoer.
There is another case when it is easy to talk about another's fault. When we do not like someone or disagree with others there is the temptation to reveal the bad things we know about them, if we are fairly confident the bad reports are true. It is sometimes a way of justifying our feelings, or getting even, or punishing those we despise. We may even communicate the 'dirt' in such a way as to give ourselves a way of escape if the reports turn out not to be quite accurate.
It becomes the Christian to clear whatever they would do with their Lord. Before bearing reports of other's fault we should check ourselves for love. Let us hesitate to share anything about anyone we do not love. If it is necessary or important to share we should first ask God to place love in our hearts for the guilty party. Then ask the Holy Spirit for guidance in how to do it appropriately. And think about restoration.
Nobody is proofed against error. I am reminded of a patch in my life when I ended up straying away to other religions until my dear friend Edward Sawerengera ministered to me and led me and my wife to a new lease of a relationship with Jesus. I am grateful that I feel no longer condemned and I am very assured of my salvation.
At what level/stage of wrong doing/sin should one be censured by the church?
Matthew 18:15-17 is clear. The process which must be followed, ends in censure only if the erring person refuses to repent. The goal is restoration, but some will love their sin more than their relationship with the church. Out of love, we must bring them to choose between sin and Jesus. At the same time, the church must make a stand against sin in practical ways, or it does not follow Christ.
The Church may set levels/stages but the reality is God censures you at any level of sinning.
Prov 17:
9He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.
14The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.
28Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.
True Dalhouse, repeating a bad experience is mostly done out of hurt, seeking justification for our part or because we do not "love" the other party.
The bible is clear that whatever the motive, we will be separating friendship or relationships. We will be causing strife and we will be deemed foolish wen we talk anyhow or forever abt a bad encounter. This doesn't remove the place of settling issues - that remains important.
To "cover" or be quiet abt an issue that hurt/hurts is only genuinely possible when we have forgiven regardless of the other party's sorrow for their act. This calls for the presence of God the Holy Spirit in our lives.
Could both James (James 5:20) and Peter (1 Pet 4:8) have gotten the idea of covering a "multitude of sins" from Proverbs and did they think of it the same way that Solomon did?
Forgiveness is so important when someone does something wrong to us or to themselves whether Christian or non christain. Prayer is the key component that must be used to determine what is the appropriate step to take in any situation. God will lead and guide us in the direction we should take. Never lean to your own understanding. Take the matter to the Lord in prayer. All parties involved will be pleased with the results.
Nothing is more discouraging than to learn that the very friends you trust selling you short.The problem with our church today is not in the gospel we preach,but in our own unconverted hearts,our old bad propensities that seem to be against the talk.Small issues of gossip,negligence,bad attitudes towards others,...are the reasons why we are where we are.Truly the talk is not walked in many aspects of the Christian life.When new babes in Christ meet such ungodly behavior,they often do not find a place in the church hence we are bringing in the sheaves and burning down the wheat simultaneously.Its sad to find believers wishing their fellow brethren to fall,spreading gossip with zeal not invested in gospel preaching,sometimes maybe in the fore front of devising such schemes,when they should be encouraging and been encouraged.Our prayer thus should be like that Jesus for Peter,''When thou art converted,strengthen thy brethren''-Luke 22:32 so that we tongue that sows discord among brethren is crucified.
Charity begins at home.How is your relationship with your family? Before we point fingers at others we should take a good look at ourselves.
Learn to find ways to resolve conflict and move on without keeping life long unnecessary grudges based on gossip!
Yup. This is very important for us. Especially as adults, if teenagers mess up.
We must try our best to build up and not tear down. By Gods grace I will do a better job at it.
You bring up a really good point, Suzie. It is easy to judge sometimes so harshly that we destroy the person completely. Verbal abuse can be more destructive than physical abuse.
Tyler Cluthe, I believe so because it seems their deeper intents were pointing towards Love for others. Love is a bond of perfection!