Monday: Loss of Trust
We are all sinful, dysfunctional people who at some time will prove ourselves to be untrustworthy to someone who trusted us. And who hasn’t been the victim of someone else’s betrayal of our trust? And, as hard as such a loss of trust can be, it’s always so much worse when we betray, or are betrayed by, a family member.
Sometimes it may seem easier to cut our losses and run when we decide the relationship isn’t worth the effort of rebuilding. Of course, it’s not so easy when it’s a family member, such as a spouse. You could even say that one of the purposes of marriage is to teach us the lesson of how to rebuild trust when it is broken.
When trust in a relationship has been compromised, how can both trust and the relationship be healed and saved? 1 Pet. 5:6-7; 1 John 4:18; James 5:16; Matt. 6:14-15.
Preparing for Death
Rebuilding broken trust is like a journey; you must take it one step at a time. The journey begins with a sincere acknowledgment of the hurt and confession of the truth, whatever the offense and whoever the offender.
When adultery has been the cause of the breach, healing begins when the betrayer confesses. As part of the healing process, confession must accompany complete openness on the part of the betrayer. There can be nothing that remains hidden, or else, when it is found out (and it will be found out), it will destroy the trust that was reestablished. And the second time trust is breached, it becomes even harder to heal than the first breach was.
Rebuilding trust takes time and patience. The more serious the offense, the more time it will take for it to be repaired. Accept the fact that sometimes it’s going to feel as if you are moving two steps forward and three steps backward. One day it seems like there’s hope for tomorrow, and the next day, you feel like running away. Many have, however, been able to rebuild their broken relationship and developed a deeper, more intimate, more satisfying, and happier marriage.
| What principles in healing a marriage can be used in the case of other kinds of broken trust? At the same time, what might be a situation in which, though there is forgiveness, there is no more trust, nor should there be? |
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Trust is the Glue of Life. Trust is the foundational principle that holds all relationships. As you work through trust issues, remember that even if everyone else fails you, your Savior, Jesus Christ, will not. Trusting in Him and His promises found in the Bible, you can learn to respond to His undeserved love and forgiveness by offering those same gifts in your relationships.
Gandhi said, “Among the most essential qualities of the human spirit are to trust oneself and build trust with others.” In in life, we’re the ones who lose when the tower of trust falls. We win when we trust God, when we prove ourselves trust worthy and when we’re willing to forgive others who’ve let us down and to seek to re-build our relationship and our mutual trust. We can trust again. While trusting makes us vulnerable, if we choose not to trust, we can miss out on so much joy God desires for us. We were created for relationships based on both trust and forgiveness. We may move slower in trusting others, but don’t let fear steal your joy and imprison you in anger and hurt. You can trust again … with God’s help.
We can trust God like Hosea when God asks us to stay in relationships where confession doesn't take place and in relationships where hurt continues to rage. It's not easy but it's not impossible.
Trusting God is an 'always' for the Christian. However, I am hoping we are ruling out abuse. Hosea was given a specific task for a specific reason by direct command.
What if your spouse lies about it, when you even have evidence of their unfaithfulness. How do they expect you to trust them, would God expect me to trust a liar? I try, but each time I am hit by another evidence tha he will lie about if I bring it up. I am trying, But I wonder if God really wants me to trust a liar, but agakn marriage without trust can only die, I jus wish he would make it easy for me.
The unfaithful person is in a broken relationship with God. They are first and foremost being unfaithful to God, which is a matter of grave importance. Sometimes the faithful partner must tighten their relationship with God in prayer as well. As the Biblical Joseph reminded us, regarding the temptation of Potiphar's wife, his unfaithfulness would be a wickedness done AND a sin against God. As Friday's lesson suggests concerning addictions, we may also avail ourselves of Godly counsel in this matter. God can work through them as well.
Hosea gave us an example how we ought to live.He trusted his wife yet she was a prostitute.
If we are sincere and work in our own trust...to be trustworthy and to trust in God..we can teach our spouse great lesson for them to embrace..however if we fail to trust we might not build back the relationship
God alone is trustworthy. We are indeed sinful beings, yet it rocks us to our core when those we've trusted betray that trust. Perhaps we've forgotten we are all sinful beings. Marriage is only one area in which trust is a factor. There are times when trusting is both dangerous and ill-advised, as the last question suggests. Where children are involved, vulnerability is not an option.
Building strong relationships inevitably involve disappointments. When you fear to disappoint someone, you can never build a strong relationship with them. And when you run away from a relationship because of loss of trust then you can never have a perfect relationship. For our information, people who are perfectly trustworthy are in heaven. They're not here.
May God help us to learn how to live with fellow sinners in the real world.
A relationship without trust is not a relationship. Trust is essential to life. How can we live with anyboby without a minimum of trust? "Firm belief in reliability, truth"!
When we walk with the Lord, in the light of His word, what a glory he sheds on our way. while we do His good will, he abides with us still. And with all who will trust and obey.
The author of the song says, 'for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.'
God extends His love, grace, and mercy to us. We must extend the same to each other. In some cases it is not wise or prudent to repair a breach of trust. We must ask God for wisdom and discernment.
When trusts are broken, how do we feel? Are we in a mood to forgive? Do we analyze the problem in order determine the right way of thinking? Usually most will make a snap decision that includes retaliation. Our human natures control our thoughts and decisions. It is easier to make a good choice, when allowed time to calm down. That is the time to think about God and do some soul searching.