Friday: Further Thought - When Alone

Further Thought: When Alone

“In the midst of a life of active labor, Enoch steadfastly maintained his communion with God. The greater and more pressing his labors, the more constant and earnest were his prayers. He continued to exclude himself at certain periods from all society.

Image © Stan Myers from GoodSalt.com

After remaining for a time among the people, laboring to benefit them by instruction and example, he would withdraw, to spend a season in solitude, hungering and thirsting for that divine knowledge which God alone can impart. Communing thus with God, Enoch came more and more to reflect the divine image. His face was radiant with a holy light, even the light that shineth in the face of Jesus. As he came forth from these divine communings, even the ungodly beheld with awe the impress of heaven upon his countenance”. – Ellen G. White, Gospel Workers, p. 52. Though the story of Enoch here is encouraging and has something powerful to say about those who choose to have times of solitude, many face a solitude they don’t ask for.They don’t want to be alone. Yes, again, we can always have a joyful communion with the Lord, who is everpresent, but sometimes we crave human companionship and fellowship. How crucial that we, as a church, be ready to reach out to those who might be sitting right next to us on Sabbath each week, yet who are going through a terrible season of loneliness. At the same time, if you are going through such a time, seek out someone whom you feel that you can trust at church (or elsewhere) and let them know. Many times people simply cannot tell by looking at someone what they are going through. It’s easy, at least for some people, to hide behind a mask.

Discussion Questions:

How can your church learn to be more sensitive to the needs of the lonely in your midst?
“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content” (Phil. 4:11, NKJV). Read the larger context of Paul’s words here. How can we learn to apply these to ourselves? At the same time, why must we be very careful in how we quote this passage to someone who truly is hurting?
In class, talk about a time you went through severe loneliness. What helped you? What hurt you? What did you learn that could be a help to others?

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I am somewhat surprised the lesson study did not touch on a loneliness issue that I have seen all too often. I call it “Public Figure Loneliness”. To help understand the issue let me tell you the story of Caroline Jones.

Caroline Jones was a journalist with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC). She was very good at her job and was the public presenter for Four Corners current affairs program from 1972 - 1981. It was the forerunner of many other current affairs programs and many of the journalists who worked on the program later hosted their own news commentary and current affairs programs. Caroline Jones was a household name in Australia for many years. What most people did not realize was that she was also terribly lonely. She was single and entirely focused on her career but when out of the public eye she was quite lonely. In the end, she took time off from running Four Corners and spent some time coming to terms with herself. Her story is quite remarkable and her experience with dealing with loneliness set the scene for the next phase of her life. She hosted a series of radio programs entitled “In Search of Meaning” and another series with a similar theme called Australian Story. The first series has been made into a set of books that make compelling reading. In her own journey, Caroline Jones became interested in Christianity and as far as I know, is still a woman of faith.

The point of my story is that Caroline Jones’ story is quite common among public figures. They are well-known faces, appear on the media, go to public functions, make speeches in public, but in private they are often lonely and have few real friends. The church is not immune to the “Public Figure Loneliness” syndrome. I have known several leading evangelists and church leaders, who struggle with the loneliness of private life. There are people who want to be their friends, but they usually want some kind of ego-boosting name-dropping association, or perhaps they think they can influence them in some Church decision. They do not want to be just a friend that they can spend time with as a break from public life. And, there is also the loneliness of the spouses of public figures. Being married to a person who is often up in public as part of their job must be very hard on spouses. I think back to all the big-time church leaders I that have crossed my horizon and I try to remember their wives’ names, or even what they looked like, and all too often I draw a blank! What an awful confession to make!

I often hear prayers in Church services for our Church leaders. Perhaps our prayers should be about how we can become supporting friends to our leaders. Our leaders are our responsibility.

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Comments

Friday: Further Thought – When Alone — 7 Comments

Maurice Ashton on April 25, 2019 at 9:15 am said:

I am somewhat surprised the lesson study did not touch on a loneliness issue that I have seen all too often. I call it “Public Figure Loneliness”. To help understand the issue let me tell you the story of Caroline Jones.

Caroline Jones was a journalist with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC). She was very good at her job and was the public presenter for Four Corners current affairs program from 1972 - 1981. It was the forerunner of many other current affairs programs and many of the journalists who worked on the program later hosted their own news commentary and current affairs programs. Caroline Jones was a household name in Australia for many years. What most people did not realize was that she was also terribly lonely. She was single and entirely focused on her career but when out of the public eye she was quite lonely. In the end, she took time off from running Four Corners and spent some time coming to terms with herself. Her story is quite remarkable and her experience with dealing with loneliness set the scene for the next phase of her life. She hosted a series of radio programs entitled “In Search of Meaning” and another series with a similar theme called Australian Story. The first series has been made into a set of books that make compelling reading. In her own journey, Caroline Jones became interested in Christianity and as far as I know, is still a woman of faith.

The point of my story is that Caroline Jones’ story is quite common among public figures. They are well-known faces, appear on the media, go to public functions, make speeches in public, but in private they are often lonely and have few real friends. The church is not immune to the “Public Figure Loneliness” syndrome. I have known several leading evangelists and church leaders, who struggle with the loneliness of private life. There are people who want to be their friends, but they usually want some kind of ego-boosting name-dropping association, or perhaps they think they can influence them in some Church decision. They do not want to be just a friend that they can spend time with as a break from public life. And, there is also the loneliness of the spouses of public figures. Being married to a person who is often up in public as part of their job must be very hard on spouses. I think back to all the big-time church leaders I that have crossed my horizon and I try to remember their wives’ names, or even what they looked like, and all too often I draw a blank! What an awful confession to make!

I often hear prayers in Church services for our Church leaders. Perhaps our prayers should be about how we can become supporting friends to our leaders. Our leaders are our responsibility.

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Josiah Kariuki on April 25, 2019 at 10:43 am said:

Amen Dr Maurice for that beautiful recipe....

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Leilani McNeely on April 25, 2019 at 3:14 pm said:

Maurice: This comment of yours "They do not want to be just a friend that they can spend time with as a break from public life." Made me think of the time Jesus spent, away from the crowds, with His friends at their home in Bethany.

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Brendan James on April 25, 2019 at 8:54 pm said:

When I first became a Christian over 40 years ago (not as part of this church) my pastor told me that he couldn't make close friends with anyone on the church else he lose the sense of 'authority' and leadership the position demanded. At the time I accepted his decision personally and kept a certain "distance" between us even though we had much in common, were the same age, and enjoyed one another's company. Looking back and considering that now, I think we both lost out in the deal, and wonder how many pastors in our church today feel that in some similar sense, friendship between pastor and congregants is something to be wary of.

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JohnHerscher on April 26, 2019 at 4:27 am said:

Philippians 4:11. This is not a good text in light of the topic of this weeks lesson. Paul here is talking about monetary need, not emotional support and encouragement(just being there for the hurting). Yes, I am sure his message can be extrapolated into the encouragement realm, like, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13. Good advice, but not under the circumstances of interacting with people who are actively struggling with being alone or other hurting situations. Now I think this is not the time or place. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. What if Carmel walked into Maurice’s room who was in pain while waiting for a diagnosis and definitive treatment, and said, you need to have an attitude of content. No, obviously this, or this weeks lesson experiences are not the time or place to preach, not in the the acute phase. Now when the acute phase is passed, some tactful insight and education towards solving the problem is appropriate and helpful.

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- Shirley de Beer on April 26, 2019 at 6:09 am said:
  
  Suggestion, that each church provide training in counselling at a general level and also for those with such a ministry, it is almost more important than being able to give Bible Studies.
  People are more open to the truth when they feel we care for them.
  
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- JC Zielak on May 3, 2019 at 4:00 am said:
  
  Yes and no. I catch Paul's idea in the sense that we learn to trust in God in whatever situation we get ourselves into! Of course I can only speak for myself, but I can say that I've been "alone in a desert" and it was not easy at all! I had no family or friends around that I could rely on to help me in the situation I was in. And I asked myself and God "why?" many times!
  What I can say is that being that lonely made me get closer and develop a relationship with the best friend I could ever meet! Everyone is different and I have to thank God for the problems I have to face in life! I'm not saying this is easy, but I'm learning that while going through the "storm" I learn to hang on to God's hands (even if this could mean just a finger or toe touch), and He will help me and carry me through. "God so loved the world that He gave His only Son..." In this planet we do face human loneliness, but Jesus, the most precious example of love, never leaves us.
  
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