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Overcoming Sexual Sin When you are Single — 21 Comments

  1. William; I always read and enjoy your posts they are very thought-provoking and usually right on target. However this time I think you had four too many words in the title… Royce

  2. Thanks, William. Absolutely right that what we really crave and need is emotional intimacy. Sex without it may provide pleasure, but it's only temporary. Emotional intimacy is fulfilling and long-lasting.

  3. Quite a good read! God bless your ministry William. I look forward to reading your posts, they are deep and inspiring. Please if it would be possible for you, I would suggest you could post them by Monday or Tuesday. I don't feel happy when I check the website by Tuesday and still don't find your posts. I understand you have other engagements. Remain Blessed!

  4. Dear William, you are so right. I used to be married and have been single for eight years now and I determined to stay “pure”. Talked to God about it and He did exactly what you said He would do. But I have to keep abiding in Him. I don’t trust myself. I have to stay close to Him always. Thanks for this post. I too eagerly look for your post every week. Sometimes I share it with my Sabbath School class (giving you all the credit). What a blessing.

  5. William, the subject about sexual behavior as some of the posts note. Is a snake with many heads. Their are a number of factors to consider. We were created to inhabit the earth. It seems that this urge that our parents had was intentional. I believe that this same urge is continuing for the same reasons. This urge usually begins at the time that reproduction is possible. I also believe that Satan has every temptation at his disposal. When urges are at there peak Satan will find the ready and willing opportunity. Now we feel repentant and seek forgiveness. Of course we look for help, but the media that we are subjected to is a power to contend with. The two most powerful being sex and money. Our only answer is Gods Grace, Love, and Power to fight the temptations of Satan. We want God on our side. Amen.

  6. Wonderful! its indeed sad to see how sexual sin has thrived in our day.

    What is more sad is that even seventh day Adventist men would want to have sex before marriage. When this doesn't happen, they leave us. A number of us seventh day Adventist ladies have continued to trust in God for true seventh day Adventist men ready for an honest relationship that will lead to marriage, Gods way.

    • It's not just men, it's women too, who try to pressure you for sex outside of marriage. But the reason we say no, is not because we are waiting for marriage, but because we are faithful to God today.

  7. I do not agree with this. Adam had it all and still feel alone without Eve. God can give you the strength to overcome sin, however God has made man and woman to satisfy each other sexually. Therefore if you are single, divorced or widow and you want to have sex without sinning just get married 1 Corinthians 7:8.

    • Djamaila, I agree with what you say but do not understand why you say you disagree with what I say. I do not see a disagreement between what we both are saying. However to say just get married, how do you just get married if you can't find someone you are equally yoked and compatible with? Too many people get married to have sex but that is not a good reason, and why so many marriages fall apart.

      Also, just get married so you can have sex can't be the answer for someone already married who is in a celibate marriage.

      By the way Adam did not have it all. He had no family and friends until Eve helped him create a community.

    • Aside from the fact that "just get married" is easily said but not so easily done in the context of finding a Christian partner committed to God, I have some questions for you:

      With what points of William's post do you disagree?

      • God is able to supply all our needs, including our sexual needs.
      • Marriage does not guarantee sex.
      • Sex does not guarantee intimacy.
      • we crave healthy relationships more than we crave sex
      • If God has not given you a Christian sex life right now, it is only because He has something vastly better for you right now.
      • sex is not good for single people, which is the only reason He does not give it to them
      • love and intimacy is good for single people, and He gives that to them, through church, family, and a personal relationship with Him.
      • God loves single people just as much as He loves married people, and He makes single people just as happy as married people.
      • Believe in His love, and He will meet all your daily needs.

      Or is it something else?

  8. Thank you for this thought provoking post!

    You wrote: "I think Mary Magdalene found something in Jesus that satisfied her desire for sex."

    My understanding was that Mary was led, abused, or seduced into sex. Then demons inhabited her heart which evidently can happen from sexual abuse. From the beginning of these experiences, she may have had no sexual desire and she may or may not have been looking for love. Jesus did deliver her from the demons and she was forever grateful and she did accept Jesus' love into her heart.

    You mentioned: "He can meet the sexual needs of married people." People, beware! If you think getting married will provide intimacy, expressions of love, affection and opportunities for making love, think again! And having sex is not always making love.

    If you are single, you can read the articles for singles on the following Christian blogs. If you are married, you can read everything on the blogs: https://faithfulman.com/; https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/;
    http://hotholyhumorous.com/; http://www.garythomas.com/.

    While reading on these blogs, I was shocked to learn that there are married men and women who have been denied any sexual intimacy for up to 40 years and it is somewhat common! These people have trusted God even in these circumstances. It may be harder for married people, compared to single people, to accept that their lives will not include intimacy, expressions of love, affection and opportunities for making love.

    Hopefully, Christian single people have been abstinent. However, studies show that most single Christians have had sexual experiences. Yet, it is the commitment in marriage that makes a person hopeful and when that hope is dashed, there is a grief that only the neglected spouse can understand. Only God can give the grace and power to live with whatever difficult experiences come their way. He has promised to be with us no matter is we are single or married, and we need to believe His promises.

  9. Thanks for a great article, William; and thanks to Inga for an excellent summary of the article in the comments.

    I agree with most of it, except for the implication that Mary of Magdala was considered to have a specific problem with sexual sin or that her interest in Jesus was sexual in any way ("he was a gentleman with her"). This image of Mary is not supported by the bible. I also find generally the frequent linking of single persons and sexual sin is disproportionate and and may appeear to reflect certain assumptions, including the idea that the availability of sex within marriage will allow one total freedom in this area and relative immunity from sexual sin (except for a case of sexless marriage as you mention), when in fact it can be the opposite. In reality, Christians who often struggle most with sexual sin are in fact married or post-marriage, because of the sexualisation that the marriage context naturally produces. The wondering eye, pornography, masturbation and overt adultery are an unfortunate reality among the married. The answer - learn with the help of God to establish boundaries and practice skills (including habitual and consistent prayer life) for managing one's sexuality before marriage; this help you regardless of your present or future marital status; when one does marry and engage in sex even closer care and management is needed. Will further add that one's perspective is also important, including the perspective of sex as a gift vs a right.

    • Thank you Desiree. Did I imply that Mary had any kind of desire for sex out of the ordinary? My implication is what she found in Jesus was more meaningful than sex. That should be true of everyone.

      I also agree with your point about sex being a greater temptation post marriage, which is why I included single people who have been divorced and widowed.

      I am glad you were over all blessed by the article as well as One's comments.


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