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There’s no “I” in Helpmate — 10 Comments

  1. The "rule" over the wife by the husband that God commanded must be understood properly by both sides. It will never affect the uniqueness of any individual, but only in regard to the harmony of the pair when they must make a joint decision concerning God's specific will for them as a single unit. It is only IF a deciding vote needs to be cast. This fact should make any Godly woman realize that she needs Divine wisdom when choosing such a husband as God would have her submit to. So there is really nothing for anyone to fear except that they rely on their own finite wisdom in making one of life's most vital decisions.

    As you pointed out Lillian, the greater council is given to the man who must not only make the decision IF needed, but he is also the one accountable for it in the end. The man's motives must be as pure as the motives of Christ Himself, and his daily pleading for the heavenly wisdom should be without ceasing as he looks to the Author and Finisher of his faith for support, while holding supreme regard for the wife God has joined him to.

    This commanded submitting will work perfectly for those who are united in their love for Jesus, but will be a galling yoke for the self-centered.

  2. I've been studying this week's lesson and it appears to me that so many women and men have issue with marriage because they are not prepared for it. Most times, men/women are looking for a helpmeet, true; help me to get this, help me get to that, choosing primarily from their eyes or their wisdom.

    We as God's people need to use His wisdom, His eyes, His counsel. Young men consider the counsel of God concerning virtuous character in your choices. Young women consider Christ like attributes in your choices. In order to be prepared for marriage you need to spend more time with God, the giver of the gift so that you can appreciate the gift as it was given.

  3. I agree with you all the way Lillianne. To me the whole concept of subjugation is a real problem in our sinful world. It finds itself just about everywhere especially in politics where the operative word is "control."

    To be honest there is many more problems with men being dictators over their wives than the other way around. However, I have seen marriages where the wife felt it her duty to be the controller of the family and from what I have seen it works no better than a male tyrant at the helm.

    To me a marriage should be truly "one flesh" where the term "us" should be used far more often than it is. While each should serve the other I do not believe that one should totally neglect his or her self. To me the object should be the well being of both together. As Paul said of the church, "if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it" (1 Cor. 12:26 NKJV). As it is with the church so it is with the family. If one member falls ill it usually puts a strain on the other members so it is better that all members remain well and united together for the benefit of the whole. It think that is what Jesus meant by being one flesh or as Paul would say one body (ref. 1 Cor 6:16 and Rom 12).

  4. When a husband quotes these verses to a wife, the woman will immediately say, "No way! I am not to 'submit' myself to my husband! We are equal partners in the marriage. No one is above the other!"

    Sadly, many minister will also try explain the meaning of why God created Eve from Adam's rib, which is to make her an equal "partner." God did not create her from Adam's foot which means she is not under his authority, nor did He create her from Adam's head which should mean she is not over him.

    I believe this is one of the many reasons for the so many divorces in our society. Everyone can agree that it is impossible to have two equal kings in a kingdom. But when it comes to a marriage, many people think that the husband and the wife should be both equal kings, and the wives will quickly dismiss this Ephesians 5:22-25 as a bunch of nonsense!

    I believe the context of these texts is within an ideal marriage: between a godly husband and a godly wife. So for the wives, what's wrong with submitting yourselves to your godly husbands? As long as the command from the husband is within God's law, yes, you must submit to your husband. But for too many women, they would rather see the marriages break apart rather than submitting to their husbands because they are supposed to be "equal."

    If the wife thinks she should not "submit" to the husband because he is not a godly husband, why did she marry him in the first place?

    • I am not going to generalise here. Believe me brothers, wives HAVE no problems submitting to their godly husbands. The problem is sometimes we (both sexes are guilty) marry for convenience,,,not convenience of the other but one's convenience. The crunch then comes when submission becomes a swear word!! Unless self is crucified and husbands abandon their holier than thou attitude and wives tame their tongues and attitudes then sadly Christ cannot be part of our relationships and that hurts Him. We need the Eden ideal of marriage so a mass dying to self is needed. May the Lord help us.

  5. The husband is to be respected not because he is the boss but because he loves his wife so much he would die for her. That is why we respect Jesus. Not just because He is our boss but because He died for us.

  6. After reading and commenting on this, I was just looking at a picture of the earthrise over the moon. I thought to myself, that is how marriage should be. Each person thinking the other one is the one who rises and sets on the other one, when in fact they both do, determining on your point of view.


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