Tuesday: The Joy and Responsibility of Parenting
Read Ps. 127:1-5. What is the basic message of this short psalm? What important principles should we take away from it for ourselves and how we live?
Violence
When you wish to cook your favorite dish, you follow a recipe. If you add all the needed ingredients and follow all the steps, the majority of the time you get the desired results. Parenting, though, is not like cooking. No child is exactly like any other child, and even if you do everything just as you have done with other children, they can turn out different. This may have to do with their gender, the order in which they were born, their temperaments, or a host of other reasons. In God’s plan, parents would lead and teach their children to love and obey Him (Deut. 6:4-9, Ps. 78:5-7). The directive from God to parents is to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Prov. 22:6, NKJV), not to hover over children to make sure they never make any wrong decisions.
While we want to see our children go from cuddly, defenseless, little people to independent, successful adults, our ultimate responsibility is that they come to know, love, and serve Jesus Christ. As parents, we can follow the plan for the spiritual development of our children outlined in Deuteronomy 6. There are four important prerequisites: That we recognize “the LORD our God” (Deut. 6:4), that we love Him fully from the heart (Deut. 6:5), that we treasure His Word (Deut. 6:6), and that we share with our children what we know about Him (Deut. 6:20-23).
Deuteronomy 6 continues on to provide two important principles. First, the “teach-talk” principle (Deut. 6:7). Teaching refers to formal education, while talking refers to informal instruction. In both cases, the communication of biblical truth takes place within the setting of the parent-child relationship. Formal times of teaching can happen during family worship as we study God’s Word with them. Informal teaching arises spontaneously in the circumstances of day-to-day life and is even more important. Everyday incidents can become effective vehicles for communicating biblical truth (Gen. 18:19). The second is the “bind-write” principle (Deut. 6:8-9). Spiritual truth must be bound up in our actions (“hand”) and attitudes (“head”), but it must also be inscribed in our private (“doorposts”) and public (“gates”) lives. It must move from our hearts into our homes and from our homes into the world.
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The parenting being emphasized is the type that propels kids to knowing the word of God for them to lead a Christian Life.
Our greatest responsibility to walk the talk...those values we wish our children to have must be our way of life
What is the joy in the Responsibility of parenting when in certain experience children don't always listen and obey?
There is a great need of interference by the parents on the attitudes of the children, respecting age of kids and type of interference. Thus, both firm correction and love are necessary. But our own example is the most impressive on their minds. And parents are not perfect. This way, our focus as parents have really to be on a superior Force, something that we ourselves also are submitted to, and that is God! We all grew to a point where we realized that our parents were humans and failed like everyone else! But the example they were able to leave us on how to deal with their limitations counts more!
Parenthood is a tremendous responsibility and most of us become parents without any formal training. We make mistakes, and sometimes we wish we could do everything from the beginning again differently. One lesson I did learn from my own parents was to love your children unconditionally, and I hope that I`ll manage to pass that on to my children. We do not "control" our children; they are not robots. We can only teach them and live as an example. That takes patience, understanding and an awful lot of love.Luke 15:17-20....
We are to give our children the freedom of choice and the same time we be heroes of our children
One of the most important responsibilities though often overlooked by most parents is that of "training by modeling". Training by modeling holds that parents should be role models, properly showing and living out their teachings to their children. Unfortunately, these days, parents confuse and mislead their children by practising a different thing from what they teach and this is why it is sometimes difficult to correct children when they are deviating from the right path.
Giving out instructions to a child like "Jeremy, do not lie to me" should come with a back up of "because I do not tell lies myself" which in other words gives a better conviction and establishes trust between a child and the parent.
So, from the birth of your child, start modeling ideal characters to your child and to other children around you. Even if you have made mistakes in your past that might make you feel discredited from living or modeling good characters to your children, remember, Christ's forgiveness is right there, and it brought grace and mercy. Cling to that and start living differently today.
Be that living epistle for that child that has been entrusted in your care!
Parents are to exhibit their best when their kids are at their worst. The only shortcoming is the fact that parents are human beings who are prone to knee-jerk reactions, anger, anxiety,impatience and fears that make ideal parenting almost impossible. But it is possible to at least have your long-term parenting goals in mind, give yourself credit for what you're doing right, and most importantly, enjoy the rewards and joy of raising a child.
Yet parenting has large spiritual implications. “There are few parents who realize how important it is to give to their children the influence of a godly example. Yet this is far more potent than precept. No other means is so effective in training them to right lines.”
The categories yield to four parenting styles
Authoritarian - demands for maturity setting high values
Authoratative -exercise control
Permissive - allow children to make their own decisions
Uninvolved-show little or no commitment to their children
Advice on parenting is often readily available. I am not an authority but have experience. My wife and I reared five, three boys and two girls, including twins. Hind sight is always twenty,twenty. As I grow older, and hopefully wiser I realize that God has lead all the way.
Being a parent is a full time job. Thank you God.