Tuesday: Protect Your Friendship
Someone once said: Lord, protect me from my friends; I can take care of my enemies.
The book of Proverbs is concerned with the vulnerability of friendship; it counsels us on how to keep our friends and also, if necessary, how to protect ourselves from them. The Hebrew word forfriend
also means neighbor,
the one who is close to us, the one who is already a friend or who may become one. Biblical wisdom values human relationships and appeals for thoughtfulness and respect in these relationships.
Image © Providence Collection from GoodSalt.com
Read Proverbs 6:1–5. What problem does Solomon refer to, and what is the solution? What crucial spiritual principle do we find here as well?
While the Torah urges people to help the poor and to lend them money without charging interest(Exod. 22:25), wisdom warns us against inconsiderate financial backing for a friend who is in debt. The duty of charity does not exclude the duty of justice (Exod. 23:2-3). Though we need to be generous when we can, we would be wise to make sure that our charity will not turn into a fiasco(compare with Prov. 22:27).
Hence, the wise counsel given to us in the proverb. The first caution applies to our words. How crucial that we evaluate the situation and make sure that we can afford to help our friend. If so, only then speak and promise. Indeed, the warmth of our relationship or a moment of emotion may precipitate our commitment, and we may regret it afterward.
No matter how well-intentioned you might have been, it’s crucial to think before you act and commit to something that you can’t fulfill. The point is that if we get into a bind, we need to do what we can to fix it, including humbling ourselves, admitting our mistake, and asking for grace.
How do we learn to balance our desire to bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2) with the words given to us in this proverb?
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please can you help me this question;
there is any kind of friendship?
and
is it possible to have friends who always think bad things without affecting yourself??
Our behavior is informed by our thoughts; so what we think becomes what we believe and eventually what we do. The bible tells us that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The 'heart' is not the organ in our chest but our mind, our place of reasoning. 1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. KJV In the NIV it says it this way, 33 Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." We must be careful that the close associations we keep are godly. Everyone has an influence over us. We must not think that we are so strong that nothing could make us fall. If your friends always think bad things then they will do bad things and it has a corrupting effect upon your own character.
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20.
We are in the business of soul winning and must try to reach out to others but guard well the avenues to our soul. there are many reasons why this person may always be negative. Pray for them and encourage them with your good counsel and lifestyle of positive living.
if yes how can you remain faithful to God??
I don't believe that friends talk evil against each other. True friends support each other.
A true Friend wouldn't speak evil about someone who they call a friend.
The problem with backing up our friends is in the fact that we cannot fully understand our friends minds. Some are just about using us where possible for there selfish needs. Even in established relations like marriage, friends turn out to be individuals seeking for their own needs! thus we need to establish more caution when dealing with anyone! If they behave contrally to what we. expected, we need not be surprised. but we should be ready to forgive.
Friends have a big influence on us, so we need to choose our friends carefully.
Most often we can't choose our neighbours or the people at work but we can choose with whom we spend time.
If friends are drawing us away from the LORD then we need to stop spending time with them.
Kamokene, kindly make your first question a bit more clearer? I've not understood personally.
My contribution based on Prov 6:1-5
1My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor,
if you have shaken hands in pledge for a stranger,
2you have been trapped by what you said,
ensnared by the words of your mouth.
3So do this, my son, to free yourself,
since you have fallen into your neighbor’s hands:
Go—to the point of exhaustion—a
and give your neighbor no rest!
4Allow no sleep to your eyes,
no slumber to your eyelids.
5Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter,
like a bird from the snare of the fowler.
Friends;
1. We must always be grateful to kindness shown to us by others and endeavour to be there for them too.
2. We must just be careful because it is possible to get yourself trapped (we fail to honour pledges or get disowned/disrespected) by kindness to a friend or even a stranger.
3. The devil just doesn't like harmony among friends or would be friendships and he will cause confusion and make appear evil even where you intended good.
4. We are also cautioned against committing ourselves to help (surety) without considering the cost and other implications.
5. When we are caught up in the mess, Prov 6 encourages us to "not sleep", to do everything possible including prayer and making peace thereby "freeing" ourselves from the devil working through a friend or foe. By so doing, we will have availed us to a repaired relationship even with our God - it's paramount and must given even more time and efforts.
I think the text is advising us to be wise in friendship and help our friends be wise. We do not give our children everything that they ask, but always what they need. Friendship is like that. Our friends come with unfinished issues that we need to help them grow beyond.
In my opinion, friendship is earned. The bible states, that he that desire a friend must show him/herself friendly. We must use caution when making a commitment to provide financial support to anyone simply because in so cases, we maybe empowering someone to avoid change.
How do we learn to balance our desire to bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2) with the words given to us in this proverb?
We need to to honestly, humbly and prayerfully answer requests up front. We need not be stingy though because it all belongs to God anyway. However we should not present ourselves grander than we actually are either. Prayer and a good listening ear are just as important as wealth in relieving a challenge.
Experience, over time teaches wisdom. We must be wise in our attempts to help. We cannot allow our friends to steal our joy or sap our energy. A Pastor cannot be all things to all people in his congregation. Some people/members believe that their friends/pastor must literally carry the weight of their world on their shoulders! We must tactfully direct people to Jesus and the foot of the cross where all burdens are prayerfully placed and God in His wisdom will direct all paths. AMEN!
PS I am not averse to helping when I can but will not be anyone's superwoman
If our joy comes from God -- can anyone steal it? (Neh 8:10)
Anyone who is willing to listen to another's challenge should always end w/'let's pray'. I believe this may be done instead of offering advice.
Those in positions of leadership should also go to God w/their burdens. In trusting God, they're good examples and allow God to be in control in their lives. I have found, in my own experience, that when I stop trusting God's 'control' I become more weighed down.
I believe it is counsel such as Prov 6:1-5 that gave Jesus direction in how He was to interact with other people. "But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men, and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man" (Jn. 2:24-25 NKJV).
To us Jesus said, "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves" (Matt. 10:16 NKJV) and again, "beware of men" (Matt. 10:17 NKJV). In other words don't be naive and gullible for even Paul testified of himself in saying, "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells" (Rom. 7:18 NKJV). We are not to sacrifice ourselves on the altar of stupidity and ignorance through a friend's desire to be foolish. We can help our friends but we don't give them everything we have and destroy our usefulness by supporting foolish behavior, besides more than likely they will use you in some way in worshipping self meaning that a lot of them would be glad to have you take all the responsibility for what they do. To an extent the text that says, "Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces" (Matt. 7:6 NKJV) is true even for Christian friends.
these lessons speak a lot a.pple often say what they dont mean but the words said are hard to take back.word can secure s friendship and can destroy a friendship.many friendships are destroyed by words.
This lesson is very clear cut. We ought to help our friends/neighbors because giving is what God did when he gave his Son for us & giving is what Jesus did when he gave up his life for us. Giving & helping is what Jesus did period, during his ministry here on earth. In a great sense, giving is a form of love. God is Love. God gave, Jesus gave. Why? Because according to John 3:16 & 1 John 3:16, He loved us!
This lesson, however is helping us to be wise. So that we do not commit to something we will regret. We must first look at our situation financially, and then give without hesitation.