Wednesday: The Foundation of Acceptance
Read Romans 15:7 and Ephesians 4:32. How would you describe the foundation of all acceptance? What is the essence of an accepting attitude?
In these two passages the apostle Paul presents the principles underlying our acceptance of one another.
Image © Ron Bell at Goodsalt.com
Because Christ has forgiven and accepted each one of us, can we possibly refuse to forgive and accept one another? In fact, it is precisely because Jesus has received us that we can receive one another, even despite the other’s flaws.
Think hard about what this means. Think about yourself and about some of the things you have done and might still be struggling with — things that, perhaps, you alone know about, things that you’d be terrified if others knew about, too.
And yet, what? By faith, you are accepted in Christ, who knows all about the things that others might not know anything about. Yes, He knows all of that, and yet, He accepts you anyway, not because of your own goodness, but because of His.
What, then, should be your attitude toward others?
Here is a difficult concept for some to understand. Genuine acceptance means that we accept people as they are, with all their sinful habits, because they are human beings created in the image of God. Because Christ died for us “while we were yet sinners” and “reconciled [us] to God” when we were His enemies, we can forgive and accept others. His love toward us becomes the very foundation of our acceptance and forgiveness toward others (Romans 5:6-10).
But once an accepting, caring relationship has been established, it is often necessary to confront another individual lovingly with the truths of Scripture. To fail to do this is to neglect to love. As friends, we care enough to share life-changing, eternal truths with our friends.
Jesus’ attitude was not, “Do whatever you please. It’s all right. I still accept you”. His attitude was, rather, “No matter what you have done, I am willing to forgive you and provide you with power to change”. Biblical truth presented humbly in Christ’s spirit with a loving attitude wins hearts and changes lives.
| How is it possible to accept an individual without accepting that person’s sinful behavior? How can we be accepting while at the same time not condone or tolerate sin? |
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Jesus led by example. We sing about our acceptance by Jesus in songs like:
...and if Jesus accepts us while we are still sinners, how can we refuse to accept others in our circle of influence.
What does acceptance really mean?
Maurice - I believe that acceptance of others means to truly, fully recognize that we are all sinners who have lost contact with the Spirit of the Father, that no one is better than the other, more or less a sinner, and therefore not being judgemental or territorial.
This disposition is a pre-requisit in order to successfully engage in living the Life of the citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven; taught, shown through other examples in the Scripture, and demonstrated to us by Jesus, the Son of God who we have accepted as our Savior.
Our true life is lived in the Spirit and expressed through the members of our body, as well as the body of believers joined together in the houses of worship.
How to develop an attitude that wins friends and influences people to follow Jesus.
Be genuinely interested in their life and ideas
Accept and affirm them for who they are and see the potential for growth
Respect their opinions and beliefs
Seek to discover beliefs on which you both agree
Don't critize, condemn or complain
As I dig deeper into winning friends for Jesus I realize that while it mainly applies to personal evangelism the ethics should also apply to mass evangelism.
As an individual I spread the good news in my circle of influence, as a group we reach out to expand that circle by providing programs that minister to the needs of the community and the evangelists spread the seed far and wide to draw all sorts towards the center to be nutured.
At whatever level we are operating we will be successful if we apply the same principles of personal evangelism.
You're absolute right, Shirley.
When we become friends, this normally happens because we found something in commom with another person. This means we accept first what we "click with". But as friendship grows, we do not have to agree with all lifestyle or beliefs of our friends! Thus, living truly (and HUMBLY) to our own beliefs without being judgemental towards the other's can be a way of witnessing love (friendship) too. Do you think that the establishment of (educated/polite) limits can help in the development of a new or old frienship?
Thank you, JC, yes, I would use the points that I have discovered so far as 'limits'.
Be genuinely interested in their life and ideas
Accept and affirm them for who they are and see the potential for growth
Respect their opinions and beliefs
Seek to discover beliefs on which you both agree
Don't critize, condemn or complain
Today's lesson rightly states that:
However, the lesson then goes on to state:
I would propose that the notion that it is "often necessary to confront another individual" is mistaken. I do not believe it is our role to confront another - and certainly not that it is "often necessary" to do so. Mind you, I have certainly seen this take place within church circles and it does not typically go well.
Rather, I believe that it is the Holy Spirit's role to convict people (John 16:8). And if we keep in step with the Spirit, we will see evidence of 'conviction' in others - a readiness in others to try doing things differently. This is where loving sharing of Biblical truth/s has its place - provided we are also living by those truths. Remember Jesus comment about logs and splinters (Matthew 7:3-5).
There is definitely a time and place for 'confrontation' when someone is doing something that is destructive to others and refuses to acknowledge of stop that destructive behaviour - I am not denying that. If someone's behaviour is destroying a Christian community or abusing others, there is a need for that community's leadership to respond appropriately or for boundaries to be enacted that protect vulnerable from abuse. So, I am not saying anything goes.
However, in the more typically relevant situation that I believe the lesson is referring to I would replace the above quoted paragraph with:
"And once an accepting, caring relationship has been established, as friends we care enough to share life-changing, eternal truths with our friends that we too live by (1 Corinthians 13:1). We do this with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15; James 1:9) under the inspiration/guidance of the Holy Spirit."
I welcome other opinions...
Thanks for this, Phil. I like how you broke this down. I know that this kind of "loving confrontation" is often taught, and it is sad that this is repeated in this lesson.
Too often persons feel themselves duty-bound to confront people about what the confronters see as inappropriate behavior. I have seen the fall-out from this, and the only one who gains from it is Satan.. (Context: Either those who were confronted had no idea they were offending anyone, much less God, or they were very aware of their problem and struggling with it.)
This is right on:
Therefore welcome one another as Christ welcomed you, for the glory of God. Roman 15:7 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Eph 4:32.These two passages tell us the meaning of real acceptance. Jesus accepted us, as we are sinners, he died because of our sin. That is really acceptance.
And the child Samuel ministered unto the Lord before Eli. And the word of the Lord was precious in those days; there was no open vision. 1 Samuel 3:1
God could not communicate with the high priest and his sons; their sins, like a thick cloud, had shut out the presence of His Holy Spirit. PP 581
Is it possible to accept someone without accepting their sinful behavior?
The Bible speaks for itself. Many say we are all sinners, or show me someone who never sin, or .....
Sin is sin but open sin brings about a lot of distrust. Many of us knew the stories about Eli and his sons, the Bible calls them rebels because of their blatant behavior. We were told because of their behaviors many stopped going to the temple.
We also read the stories about Saul/Paul. He met Christ and was changed but the disciples were still afraid and reserved about accepting him. It was the Holy Spirit himself had to speak to the disciples about accepting Paul as a disciple.
It is hard to trust someone who was the church treasurer even if you love them, if you knew that person was secretly stealing the money from the church. An ex convicted people might say their are changed but you will not leave your purse/wallet down to test them to see if they are indeed change?
We are called to tell others about Christ but we can’t change anyone. Even if someone comes to the church and you don’t know the how or the who, you have to be careful.
You might love someone but not their sins.
Discussion question:
How is it possible to accept an individual without accepting that person’s sinful behavior? How can we be accepting while at the same time not condone or tolerate sin?
My neighbours have been very helpful and kind and I have helped them because they don't have internet access to their bank. I knew that they gone to court by bus because their one daughter's husband had assaulted her. While they were away their other adult daughter pretended to be their granddaughter and via what's app told me a long story about 'her granny' urgently needing cash to get home and promising to refund me. So I did a 'cashsend' which allows another person to draw cash from an ATM without an account. I thought I was helping a friend in need. Only to find that my friend didn't know anything about it and the culprit flatly denying it was her, unfortunately the cell number has been changed so I can't prove it was her.
What do I do? Turn the other cheek? Forgive 70 x 7 times? Hold the parents responsible? Not be so quick to help? Not be so gullible? Put measures in place so as not to be taken advantage of again?
Shirly - I am sorry to hear about your misfortune and the disappointment you experience.
The circumstances as you described are clear. I hope that your neighbours you intended to help will make things right on behalf of their daughter and you.
If they believe you, and I would think that they do not have reason to believe otherwise, it is now in their hands to correct the wrong their daughter has done.
After having talked with them, praying for the Holy Spirit to convict their heart and mind to do the right thing is, in my opinion, the only way to deal with it going forward.
I encourage you to ask God to give you strength to leave the outcome in His hands.
Stay faithful to the Way of Light!
Ouch! I would chalk this up to "tuition" expenses. I suspect trying to "hold the parents responsible" would only cause harm. The daughter is an adult, after all. The daughter does know what happened, and you can use "coals" of kindness. (Prov. 25:22)
On another but associated note: I believe it is much better to be taken advantage of and "helping" someone who doesn't need help than to fail to help a person who really does need help. You're doing it "to the Lord" either way. If you act prayerfully, He can use your actions for His own purposes.
I truly appreciate languages where one word can express a fuller meaning, i.e., the Greek term agape - unconditional unreserved love, such as demonstrated by Jesus at the cross. Although, because if our self-centered human nature, this form of agape may be hard to digest, however, Ellen G. White writes that we should spend time contemplating Christ’s sacrificial act which helps us to understand the ultimate form of agape.
My answer to the question "What, then, should be your attitude toward others?" would be the same as I have shared before: compassionate understanding and non-judgmental.
The lesson writer uses an interesting word in his next to the last paragraph: "confront", in the context of talking with others about 'truths of Scripture'.
I looked up the meaning of the word 'confront' in the Dictionary:
"meet (someone) face to face with hostile or argumentative intent."
"(of a problem, difficulty, etc.) present itself to (someone) so that dealing with it cannot be avoided. "
"face up to and deal with (a problem or difficult situation)."
I would say that the only acceptable use of the word 'confront' is when we apply it to ourselves, or the second definition, but assuring the other person of one's caring intent.
My answer to the last question is: We empathize, we express our understanding of the frailty of our shared human condition when walking without Light; we express that we are not without sin but have been found and have accepted the Savior that forgives sin and sets us right when we walk by faith the Way of Light and Truth.
Speaking the truth in love will never hurt the speaker or listener, nor will it endanger us to be vulnerable to the shortcomings of others.
Step 1 is humbling ourselves before God, and then being kind, courteous, tenderhearted, and full of pity.
Step 2 is being ready. 1 Peter 3:15.
Step 3 giving an answer, or if you will sharing your faith, without pouncing initially with everything you know.
Shirley has some good pointers on how to share effectively.
Be genuinely interested in their life and ideas.
Accept and affirm them for who they are and see the potential for growth.
Respect their opinions and beliefs.
Seek to discover beliefs on which you both agree
Don't critize, condemn or complain.
Love for Christ will be reflected in a desire to uplift humanity, and lead to love, tenderness, and sympathy toward all we come in contact with.