Tuesday: Presenting the Truth in Love
Friendship alone does not win people to Christ. We might have many friends, people we enjoy being with and who enjoy being with us, but if we never tell them what Jesus means to us and how He changed our lives, our friendship may make little eternal difference. Sure, we might be fun to be around, but God calls us to be more than just fun to be around.
Image © Jeff Preston at Goodsalt.com
Friendship alone will not bring people to Christ, but unfriendly attitudes may drive people from Christ.
The apostle Paul reminds us to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). The bonds of friendship are built when we agree with people as much as possible, demonstrate acceptance, and compliment them where it is appropriate. How important that we make a habit of looking for the good in people as opposed to the bad.
Read 2 Thessalonians 1:1-4. List some of the specific things Paul compliments the Thessalonians for.
There are those who seem to delight in looking for things that are wrong with others if for no other reason than that it makes them feel better about themselves.
The apostle Paul was the opposite. He looked for the positive in the churches he ministered to. Certainly, he reproved error and did not condone sin, but his focus was to build up the churches that he established. One way he did this was by highlighting what they did right.
Ellen G. White’s statement on the importance of positive relationships is remarkable. “If we would humble ourselves before God, and be kind and courteous and tenderhearted and pitiful [full of pity], there would be one hundred conversions to the truth where now there is only one”. — Testimonies for the Church, vol. 9, p. 189.
| Reflect on the statement above for a moment. What would it mean for your church if kindness, courtesy, tenderheartedness, and pity (mercy) overflowed from each member’s heart? What would a church like this look like? Look into your own heart and ask yourself about a way in which you could improve in this area. |
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Friendship may not win people to Christ but if friendship is not the basis for our answer to the call of the Gospel it is like trying to put the icing on the cake, with no cake underneath to support it.
When I gave my students an essay assignment, I found that some students would seek out the esoteric information and put that in their essays at the expense of including the basic foundational facts. What I really wanted was an essay that demonstrated a good solid understanding of the basic facts and then add something on top that showed their extension of understanding beyond the basics. They were strongly advised not to ignore the basics.
Likewise, in our spiritual interaction with others, it makes no sense to try to talk about spiritual matters if we do not have the basis of good frienship to start with.
The Bible talks a lot about love and unfortunately, the word has been coloured by media portrayals of sentimentality and emotion. We need to claim back the word, not by erudite descriptions or tokenism but by practical application in our relationship to those who need to hear the Gospel.
Two questions I need to ask myself: How many unchurched friends do I have? If my circle of friends is limited to those in the church, how can I spread the Gospel?
I am afraid I do not agree with the opening sentence in today’s lesson. Specifically, I do not believe that truth sharing is something that is additional to genuine friendship but that genuine friendship does in fact create an authentic context where truth is shared and explored. Genuine friendship involves and fosters authentically walking alongside others as they attempt to navigate their way through life - its joys and struggles. The notion in the lesson that friendship is little more than people enjoying being around each other is too superficial an understanding of genuine friendship. What the lesson describes perhaps lies closer to a notion of 'social acquaintances'.
When we struggle to the point that our existing ways of dealing with those struggles no longer seem to be sufficiently helping, at that point we become more open to exploring alternative options. In this space, the exploring of ‘truth’ is a more natural experience - what is life about; what is life not about; how does life work; how does it not work? These are very natural and relevant questions that people are essentially wrestling with in times of struggle. This is happening in many people’s lives at present in response to the array of challenges posed by the current pandemic (either directly or indirectly).
Thus, I would propose that genuine friendship (as characterised for example in Ephesians 5:1,2) is precisely the natural context where ‘discussions’ take place about how cope and deal with the challenges we face in a sin-infected world that is passing away (1 John 2:16,17).
Truthful sharing and authentic friendship are inseparable. And genuine Biblical truth is applied truth: the truth of how life actually works and how it doesn’t applied to the challenges we face in our everyday life.
This ties back to the notion that 'witnessing' is an inseparable part of authentic Christian living. I find that the notion of witnessing presented by this quarter's lessons is too much (and artificially) separated out from the reality of life and living that 'witnessing' (ie, authentic sharing) is instead an inseparable part of.
But I welcome other opinions...
Thank you Brother Phil for that wonderful comment. I agree with it whole heartedly. Like you said, I believe that the lesson this quarter seems to be suggesting that we do more, but that doing will only be artificial, if not the natural out flow of a life touched by Christ. If our relationship with Christ is genuine, then it follows that our friendships with others will not just be about hanging out, and they will see the beauty of Christ shine out though us and will want to 'ask the reason for the hope that is in us' (1 Peter 3:15).
If I may add to what you have said, Jacob, and make a comment for all readers to ponder:
If our relationship with God is genuine, and our friendship with others is genuine, then ‘witnessing’ (ie being salt/light to and for others rather than preaching at them) will naturally take place in an authentic way.
So, if authentic ‘witnessing’ is not taking place, where does the problem likely lie?
I'll bite on this one:
I think it does not take place when we do not put Jesus first - when we do not "seek first the Kingdom of God."
If we put His Kingdom first, we will always seek ways to be the hands, feet and voice of Jesus in our sphere of influence. We will love as He loved, and *that* is the "witnessing" He seeks from us.
Let us pray for the mind of Jesus .. (Phil 2:5)
I believe that most of us do need to "do more." We need to be more intentional about making friendships to save. We need to be more intentional about reaching out to our neighbors and friends.
We need to spend more time with Jesus, so we will have the mind of Christ who gave Himself not only for us, but for all of those around us too.
Phil, I think the problem with this statement and others in the lesson is that the author appears to believe that truth is largely propositional - that is "truth" consists of facts to be taught. That was never really true because Jesus clearly said that " I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 146) In other words, truth is found only in relationship with Jesus. It is demonstrated in lifestyle more than in propositions. And if what I suggest is true, it follows, that sharing truth is a natural part of friendship. In fact it is inseparable from it.
We have gotten away with sharing "propositional truth" in the past because most people grew up in a society in which God was at least known to some extent. Most people saw the Bible as the basis of moral values. But society has changed to such an extent that people no longer accept a top-down approach of sharing "propositional truth." They see it as oppressive, after seeing the historical and publicized abuses of Christianity. So now we are forced to confront our own understanding of Truth and adopt the methods of Jesus - to mingle with people while desiring their good, to befriend them and minister to their needs as best we can and to introduce them to Jesus, our Friend. We need to understand that the teachings (doctrines) of the Bible are generally taught as part of the story, and Jesus majored in story-telling. We need to follow His example.
Phil - always a pleasure to read your comments! What I find the most challenging, the most difficult issue to communicate is exactly what you have brought to light in your comments.
Your last paragraph describes the problem: "witnessing ....is too much (and artificially) separated out from the reality of life and living, that 'witnessing' (i.e. authentic sharing) is instead an inseparable part of it."
What makes it sooo difficult for Christians to understand that their new nature is a wholly, fully engaged NEW nature? That it completely changes everything about us - how we reason, how we act, how we feel, how we speak, how we perceive through our eyes and ears? We have a new heart - we have a new mind!
What is that which makes it sooo difficult to understand that we 'operate' from a totally made new mind and heart? The blueprint for our actions is the Gospel of Jesus. There need not be any separation between what we believe to be the new Way, Truth and Light and how we live!
Why do so many believers still think they 'have to do something' to make 'it' happen?
Why is it so difficult to understand that our whole life is now in complete union with the Holy Spirit?
I have been commenting for months now on the inseparable union between Jesus living in us (His Holy Spirit) and our new nature; only His Truth and His Way bring life! We cannot hold on to our old nature in part and expect the New Life to express itself fully and clearly!
If we fully live Jesus' Gospel of the Kingdom of God - which is the Truth and the Way - (thought and action), we will not say things like: 'I have to' do this or that, or that 'I need to do more'. If we are not new-nature-inclined to do 'it', it is because we are not moved by the Spirit to do so.
Should 'Self' then come along and 'guilt' us into thinking that we 'have to do something'? This way of thinking exposes exactly the problem we have in our relationship with Jesus.
We urgently HAVE to become aware of the fact that all we do, say, think, feel is a reflection of the depth/singleness of heart of our relationship with Jesus' Holy Spirit dwelling in us. If He indwells us fully, we express Him fully, if He indwells us partially, we express Him partially. Mark 12:30
Feeling guilty about not 'doing enough' would then be a sign for the believer to draw closer to the source of Truth and Light - Jesus' Holy Spirit - rather than starting to devise his/her own plans of action.
Thanks Jacob, Inge and Brigitte each for your thoughtful contributions. I happen to agree with the observations and points you each have made/raised.
If it is our relationship with God, the seeking of His righteousness, having the mind of Christ, being in complete union with the Holy Spirit that is in fact the foundation where applied (as contrasted with propositional) truth dwells, then where would it make sense for leadership (including at the local church level) to focus its efforts?
Fostering an environment where deeper relationships with God take place? Witnessing? One of these is the horse, the other is the cart. Which is which?
Phil you wrote:
I would say that's a false dichotomy. Using your analogy, sometimes the "horse" is witnessing which leads to a sense of needing a deeper relationship with God. On the other hand, a deep relationship with God naturally involves sharing (aka "witnessing").
Personal relationships are complex, as you well know, and it's best not to attempt to break them down into formulas ... or horse and cart. 😉
Thanks Inge
I had not conceived of horse and cart as dichotomous but rather as a phenomenon that requires the right elements to be in the right orientation to each other in order for things to function properly.
Yes, you are absolutely right - relationships are complex. That's why I use metaphors to enable the consideration of aspects within that complexity in manageable 'pieces' that gradually and progressively build towards working on the whole...
Phil - thank you for your thoughtful reply! My answer is known to you - "the deeper relationship with God through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!" - is the 'horse'. I know your love of God and understand that my comments might sound like 'preaching to the choir'; please allow me to share my thoughts with you for the benefit of others who read our comments. I can't help myself that I always want to bring attention to this Truth.
Our Walk in the Gospel Way of Jesus' Truth and Light - His spiritual teachings applied/lived, motivated by our love of God the Father of all Truth and maintained through faith - is at the very foundation of all the believer is asked to do; and this is where the focus of our 'learning and maturing' needs to be; to increase our intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father is to become one with the Spirit of the Father.
The 'how, what, why, where, when', the basis and content of our interaction with our 'neighbor', is established through the work of the Holy Spirit in us.
It is this intimacy of our relationship with the Holy Spirit which is then reflected in our 'attitude' and 'conduct' toward others. We can either be filled with the Spirit of God to overflowing - which is *witnessing* -, or we are just starting to allow Him to change our mind and heart and are not yet ready to witness to His Truth, Love and Goodness to others; though we can always witness to our willingness to be changed.
Yes, the leaders, teachers and preachers of congregations throughout the lands need to focus on educating the spiritual aspect of the believer, call all to submit their will to the Will of God and open their minds and hearts fully to live the Way of the Lord - the Way the citizen of the Kingdom of God lives.
Then we are ready to project the Leven of the Word of Truth to the world: exhibiting by our conduct the effects of the Salt, the Water, the Bread, and the Light that shines in the darkness. The effectiveness of our testimony to the world is directly linked and proportional to the love we have for our Savior and the God to whom He points - our Father who gave us His Spirit. How great is our Joy in our Salvation?!
This call can only be directed to the Christians - 2Cronicles7:14
Phil, Fostering an environment where deeper relationships with God take place? Please give examples of how the church could do this?
Hi Shirley. Thanks for your question.
There is an interesting two-part set of articles recently published on Spectrum magazine website entitled Adventism at the Crossroads. These articles look at some of the issues that have emerged in the course of COVID restrictions where people have undertaken 'church' in a different way/s. One of the outcomes that has flowed out of this difference is people feeling more connected at a more personal level than they had previously experienced in the more program-centric way that church is typically done. The benefits people are experiencing are to the extent that they are finding themselves reluctant to go back to the way things were. Interesting...
I have been involved in such a group that meets around looking at Biblical passages in a way that unpacks Biblical principles reflected in those passages and then discusses how these principles are applied to what is happening in people's lives and faith walks. It's interesting the degree of involvement and growth that people are reporting experiencing - and which they note would not be happening for them if 'church' had continued they way it was.
It would appear that key elements necessary for fostering an environment where deeper relationships with God take place are:
*) a safe space where people feel non-judged and that they will not be gossiped about. Leadership needs to model and facilitate this dynamic.
*) a Biblical teaching/exploration structure (with the degree of structure matched to the dynamics of the group) that unpacks - and therefore over time teaches people to unpack - Biblical principles and the experiences of Biblical times
*) authentic application of those principles to the real-life issues of group members. Authenticity is very important.
Put safety, guidance and authenticity together and you have a growth-potential environment (under the Holy Spirit's guiding of course).
The forms of expression of these principles may vary according to local needs/dynamics, but the elements pretty much apply across the board. Without an authentic biblical component, things pretty much are a social-based group. And there is a time and place for such for sure. But for things to go to the next level and be a spiritual growth-nurturing dynamic, the authentic biblical component within a safe and authentic context appears necessary.
Others may like to share their experiences of other examples... I have just shared what I have seen work well when done properly and authentically.
Thank you Phil, yes small groups that allow for participation by all (with your guidelines). In short I agree Principles and Application.
I suggest a leader who acts as a counselor would be ideal.
Let us see what we learn from next week's study guides on Small Groups.
Phil - really encouraging to find people beginning to be receptive to the moving of the Holy Spirit to look at the 'church structure' and to find the right format to foster real, personal, spiritual growth of those who have come to join the family of faith.
I am not surprised to find 'safe space' on top of the list. If the church environmnet is not a 'safe' place to be, were else would one go? If it does not focus on effectively teaching the application of the principles of Jesus' Gospel of the Kingdom of God, where would you go to learn about it?
I have commented in previous posts about the lack of true, God-focused worship in the church service. I think, within a short time, home based faith-study groups will spring up all over and help develop and nurture this, oh so desperately needed, close and personal relationship with our heavenly Father and with each other.
To be in a more intimate environment would greatly help the individual to 'come out of their emotional closet', so to speak.
Then the mighty 'horse of confidence' in one's faith-relationship with the Father is before the cart of living ones life as a joyfull, non-judgmental, compassionate, true believer witnessing to the transformational power of one's faith-based, love-relationship with the Father.
This then is the powerful testimony - the light upon a hill - to draw others to build their own Love-relationship with our Triune God - Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
Phil in response to what was said about the survey. The Bible says Not forsaking the assembly of ourselves together, as the manner of some is...Heb 10:25 Are some saying this scripture is outdated?
Reading for reference FLB 246.6
What population did Spectrum interviewed? Those who go to church/prayer meeting regularly or not? Those who go to church for one hr or? The time has come when many don’t want to be bothered with anything that calls for sacrifices. Lay in my bed and still be joined in SS and church. Etc.
Phil. Can you give me more information.
Hi Lyn
What is being discussed is merely alternative options for the principles expressed in Hebrews 10:25.
I suggest you read the Spectrum articles for yourself and draw your own conclusions. The observations are anecdotal, not formal interviews. The people I have spoken with (in relation to my similar observations) include those who are heavily involved in church activities - including leadership.
Is church being done the way it is because it is the most effective way of growing and nurturing Christian community (the Body of Christ) or is it merely a structure/format that has continued over time without assessment/reflection upon its efficacy?
I am collecting 7 ideas of how I can develop an attitude that wins friends and influences people to follow Jesus.
I have found 3 so far and the fourth is to respect their opinions and beliefs even if I don't agree with them.
Accept and affirm one for who they are and see the potential for growth
Seek to discover beliefs on which we both agree
Don't critize, condemn or complain
I believe that friendship without agreement does not lead people to Jesus, because we do not agree to follow Jesus with our friends. If we believe together and say the truth to them we will win them to follow Jesus by telling them the truth. Ephesians 4:15 and tell them the love of God toward us (John 3: 16 )
There is not secret, what we have to do is to be true and at peace with our faith (God) and with ourselves! It's a matter of doing the same for our friends! By doing that we can influence others to do the same!
It’s not necessarily what you say, but how you make others feel that promotes questions about your foundation in Christ. People notice your core (whether you are genuine in your care and concern for them/others, whether you’re trustworthy, honest, etc) and this determines whether they want to know more about your faith. Taking the opportunity to talk about your faith in the absence of this is nothing more than a lecture.
Let not your heart be troubled, ye believe in God believe also in me, in my Father house are many mansions.....John 14:1-3
Learn of Me,” Christ says, “and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” Matthew 11:29. Why do we not learn of the Saviour every day? Why do we not live in constant communion with Him, so that in our connection with one another we can speak and act kindly and courteously? Why do we not honor the Lord by manifesting tenderness and love for one another? If we
speak and act in harmony with the principles of heaven, unbelievers will
be drawn to Christ by their association with us. (taken from the reading for today).
“If we speak and act in harmony with the principles of heaven, unbelievers will be drawn to Christ by their association with us”. This is a powerful sentence. People can’t see Christ but they can see us who say we are his followers. Therefore let us act, speak and bear the name of Jesus in our everyday life.
Last night, my mind was filled with thoughts about Jesus' relationships. How many friends did He have, did He have a best friend? Not much seems to be known about His early life other than He worked as a carpenter and was part of a community. He participated in local events as He was asked to help out the host at the wedding. Yes, I can see Him talking with others about the Kingdom of God; not in an official capacity, but privately since He already visited the Temple as a child; this leads me to think that He always lived as He believed. I cannot picture Him engaging in idle conversations, but see Him in His conversations as a 'teacher'.
I also thought about what the difference is between strangers, acquaintances, and friends. I imagined concentric circles to place these different categories of people in relation to me, me being at the center - the further poeple are away the less interaction. Outside of the outer circle are the 'strangers'; their numbers fill the earth; going toward the center, the first space with boundaries/definition/separation is filled with acquaintances; the next space toward the center is for friends, a much smaller space but still having boundaries/definition/separation on both sides. Then I came to the center, represented by a solid dot; that dot represents Jesus and me; we fill the same space because we are one.
I believe there are only two powers able to transcent space and boundaries to bind ALL people together to become one in Spirit; the powers which will overcome all boundaries established by diversity in personality, cultural aspects and emotional preferences. These powers are Love and Faith. Ideally, the Holy Spirit with His unmitigating Love and our unwavering faith in God's Way and Light is what the person we meet experiences. So prepared, we can meet the stranger, the acquaintant, the friend with what matters the most - non-judgmental acceptance as a human being - that's how Jesus met us and presented the Truth to us.
I think that our personality has a lot to do with how many friends we have. But, even with many friends, one probably has only a few close friends, and if you draw ever closer toward the center of these concentric circles, you might find that you have only one or two best friends. I consider Jesus to be my one and only best friend and some to be close friends.
Intimacy in human friendship is built over time; very seldom does it come about spontaneously and it needs to be maintained; just like our spiritual realtionship with Jesus.
If the Fruit of the Spirit is at the core of the believer's heart, it will establish our 'attitude' and always bare its fruit when shared. John13:35
I like the first line of Tuesday's lesson. Friendship is only one type of evangelism. People will realize as soon as you talk about religion you have an agenda.
I beleive the topic here is being a witness. It's not about knowing and dispensing "truth" of itself. If we deny truth by our "attitude", have we twisted truth into a lie?
It seems vital to understand the full meaning/process of Acts 1:8. IF we have this experience, our witness will reflect Jesus at all times to all people. And like Jesus, our focus in life will be to be a witness to the love of God which will be with a living demonstration of His Law(will and good pleasure of God)as Jesus did.
The important question would then be: have I opened the door to the Holy Spirit or closed it? God has freely given His Spirit, so any lack is on ME, through unbelief.
We need never to pray for God to pour out His Spirit, which He already did. We need only to pray for that repentance Jesus calls every sinner to exhibit through faith. Repentance is the "price" for the promised gifts of God(Act 2:38, Rev 3:18-20) This was the core of Jesus earthly ministry(Mark 1:15).
to make friends for God needs individual examination.Look into yourself.Repent your sin is when you can be brave enough to tell others to repent.Also lets go to them love.