Monday: An Attitude Adjustment
Our attitudes often determine our ability to influence others. A harsh, critical, and unfriendly attitude is going to drive people away from you, and even if you are able to witness, your words, no matter how truthful, are much less likely to be received.
In contrast, a positive attitude and a belief in others draws them to us.
Image © Standard Publishing from GoodSalt.com
It creates a bond of friendship. Jesus stated this principle beautifully when He said, “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15, NKJV). Friends accept one another in spite of their weaknesses and mistakes and freely share their joys and sorrows.
Read Matthew 15:21-28 and Mark 14:6-9. These texts describe two women of widely differing circumstances. Jesus appears to be harsh with one and gentle with the other. What indications do you have in these passages that Jesus was reaching out with His saving grace with each one and building trust?
The woman in Matthew chapter 15 is a Canaanite. Jesus intentionally refuses her request initially so that, as she persists, her faith will grow. He eventually grants her desire and then makes an amazing statement that no religious leader in Judea at that time would ever make to a poor Canaanite woman. He publicly says, “O woman, great is your faith!” (Matthew 15:28, NKJV). He gives her one of the greatest compliments any religious teacher could ever give. Can you imagine how her heart rejoiced and her life was changed?
The woman who anoints Jesus’ feet with expensive perfume is a Jew — a woman of ill repute, a woman who has failed badly and sinned often, but one who was forgiven, transformed and made new again. When others criticize her, Jesus compliments her and approves of her actions. He declares, “Wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her” (Mark 14:9, NKJV).
| In view of the two stories we have read above, what are the essentials of a positive winning attitude? What kind of attitude adjustments do you need, not just for witnessing, but for life in general? |
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The story of Jesus’ interaction with the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15:21-28 has always troubled me. I had hoped that this series of lessons would leave it out and save me from the task of writing about it. So, I am going to have to bite the bullet and make a comment on it.
This is my take on the story. It is not really about the Canaanite woman but rather, Jesus is laying the groundwork for sharing the Gospel to the Gentiles. The Jewish attitude was that the promises of the Old Testament Covenants were for the Hebrews only, and to a large extent, Gentiles were excluded. Jesus language was a reflection of Jewish attitudes. I think the repartee offered by the Canaanite woman is quite perceptive and at the same time has a wry sense of humour. And then Jesus announces that this Gentile woman has great faith. That is a shock to Jewish sensibilities – A Gentile, and a woman at that, having great faith.
Remember that it was back in Matthew 11:20-24 that Jesus was pronouncing woe on Chorazin and Bethsaida because their citizens had witnessed miracles but had not changed their lives. He had said that it would be better for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgement. And now he was in Tyre and Sidon, performing a miracle for a Canaanite woman. I think the irony of the situation would not have been lost on the disciples and would have set the background for when the disciples ultimately dispersed and started preaching the Gospel to the Gentiles.
And was it only Jesus disciples that needed to change their attitude? How do we apply the lesson today? I come back to a fundamental principle of good teaching. Good teachers are not fountains of knowledge (or truth), rather they should be models of learning. In our spiritual lives we don’t disseminate truth, rather we share the journey of discovery. That is an attitude adjustment.
Maurice - did Jesus have the right 'attitude' toward the women? The right attitude is base on genuine love - did He feel this toward the women?
If so, than His motive for His engagement was two-pronged: to meet the spiritual needs of the woman first, and, at the same time, laying the ground work for the inclusion of the Gentiles to be saved by the Gospel of the Kingdom of God as well - do you agree?
Yes.
In my search for 7 ideas of how I can develop an attitude that wins friends and influences people to follow Jesus, I found another one and expanded a previous one from today's events, so my list is growing -
I will not critize, condemn or complain
Accept and affirm one for who they are and see the potential for growth
Seek to discover beliefs on which we both agree
Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me. Ps 51: 10
Shirley you mentioned you will not criticize......
Criticizing someone is only bad if used in a negative way. You can criticize people for good. Paul in his writing stated the duties of the elders, the aged women, the younger women etc. E.g a younger person may come to you about anything; lets say food, a dress they purchase and ask what you think about it or to give your honest answer. The food might not taste the best, might be too salty or somethings overcook/undercook. You don’t want to use negative criticism but with tact you use positive criticism. You are saying the same things but in a positive way.
You are right Lyn, There is a difference between finding fault with what the other is saying or doing and helping them make the right choice. I was using the word critize in it's negative sense.
Shirley - to help in your search for ideas to develop the right attitude, I want to point to the blueprint for the spiritually acceptable attitude and resulting conduct; God's love expressed as 'service'. Our 'attitude' is also a service, in that we have given the Holy Spirit permission to change our attitude.
Jesus pointed already in the right direction, knowing that we need an 'attitude adjustment' from our old nature to establish the new one. The Fruit of the Holy Spirit manifests as: 'Love expressed in interaction with others'! When we interact with the other person based on genuine love, we express: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against such things there is no law. Gal.5:22
Amidst so much pain going around us, by getting hold of Jesus's hands we can be sure that He is able to solve anything! God is able to do anything. He is the owner/creator of the Universe! We must have this confidence, and we must deliver our lives entirely into His hands...
My take is that these women of great faith in Jesus were examples to the weak disciples.
I agree.
I agree that, "Our attitudes often determine our ability to influence others." That is why we should always pray first, asking for God's guidance, and the Holy Spirit in our spiritual walk each day. In many cases, we are skeptical about approaching people, and make up reasons in our minds not to. As a consequence, that opportunity may pass us by. If we but pray, the Holy Spirit will influence us to move forward in the work.
I agree, Heather - Praying is making contact with the Holy Spirit to ask Him for guidance. He will respond not only to guide whether or not to go forward, but also how. I believe, that He will also disclose to us our personal 'attitude' at the time we think about talking to someone else about God. He opens our eyes to see our weaknesses and strength at that moment. The attitude based on genuine love of the Father in us needs to undergird everything we express to others.
I ask myself the question: 'what is at the heart of an attitude'? To be sure, I have to know what the accurate definition of 'attitude' is.
Definition:
a. 'A settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior.'
b. 'A position of the body proper to or implying an action or mental state.'
c. 'Truculent or uncooperative in behavior; resentful or antagonistic manner.'
I rather think that "our attitudes (often) ALWAYS determine our ability to influence others" - action always inspires a reaction, good or bad. The wrong attitude is always wrong, the right attitude is always right.
We might say, when in a situation of uncertainty, "what would Jesus do?". If we keep this focus, the Holy Spirit will prompt us the answer.
Jesus lived the Fruit of the Holy Spirit. Gal.5:22,23 The fruit is: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. We will not transgress man's nor God's laws if we engage in our encounter with others in this way. This is the Way of living in the Kingdom of God - Jesus taught it and lived it.
Whatever the response is from the person we engage with, we still respond in the way of the Truth and Light. If our basic disposition is the same as Jesus', love and compassion, we can trust that God will work out the rest. We should not be desingenuous, resorting to manipulate the person with a 'specially designed' attitude to 'attract their attention'. If we feel like that, I think it better not to talk with them about issues related to the God we represent.
God is Love! John3:16-21; John14:21; John 14:15; If we truly love him, we will walk in HIS Light, keeping His command to love our neighbors as we want to be loved - GENUINE LOVE.
Genuine compassion, growing out of the loving, living relationship we have with our Father, needs to be established *before* we talk about our relationship with God.
If we have doubts and unsurety in our relationship with God, we talk about this with a fellow Christian, not express this with our attitude toward an unbeliever; if we have love, trust and surety in your relationship with God, we want to share this with the world.
The intensity of His Light in our life is in direct relation to how much we love God!
Beautiful insights on the lesson, it is the Jesus Christ in us who can manage us to have good attitudes towards other's, be it fellow Christians or non-Christians
Hello Bridgitte,
You really expounded on what I said, taking it a bit further as to the work of the Holy Spirit. I agree. Your last sentence is so powerful. The love of the Lord need to be the foundation for all we do.
Attitude is not a separate part of our whole. We cannot adjust attitude by itself. We are either born again or not. We are either a new creature in Christ, or not. Profession means nothing without experience. If we experience for ourselves the saving grace of Jesus, our attitude will be like His!