Wednesday: Is Life Better on a Rooftop?
In what way does the book of Proverbs sprinkle humor on some of the irritations in domestic living? Prov. 21:9, Prov. 21:19; Prov. 27:15-16. What effect does this humor have?
A number of the proverbs consider the ways we treat each other in close relationships.
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They make their point with a light touch and a flash of wit, like the ones about the insensitive friend who “sings songs to a heavy heart” (Prov. 25:20, NKJV) and the early-rising family member who “blesses” sleepers “with a loud voice” (Prov. 27:14, NKJV). Wives reading these verses about contentious women may want to add some “proverbs” about men! They may retort that such sayings perpetuate the very problem of these proverbs by targeting only women when husbands, who share responsibility for the home atmosphere, are equally capable of contentious behavior. (Imagine what it must have been like living in the home of Caiaphas or Annas!)
A merry heart helps. Having a sense of humor in family living is a good thing. Humor lubricates the machinery of living, helping to reduce stresses and strains. “A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones” (Prov. 17:22, NKJV). Proverbs takes some of its own medicine throughout the book and gives us permission to chuckle at a few of the behaviors that annoy and irritate. Perhaps when we have smiled (or smarted a bit if the joke is on us), we are in a better place to talk about habits or behaviors that irritate or annoy us. On the other hand, humor should not be used to minimize or bypass issues that need serious attention.
A low-grade fever may be symptomatic of a chronic infection. Quarreling, nagging, and complaining may signal that there is suppressed anger in one or more family members, perhaps related to difficulties with mutuality or communication in the relationship. The complaining partner tries to offset the perceived power, control, and unwillingness to communicate of another. If the infection is cleared up, the symptoms will go away. In families, rather than avoiding the problem or one another, members build on their love for the Lord and their commitment to one another to communicate their needs and feelings, get to the root of their anger, and clear it up.
| Why is laughter so important for the home? How can it be used for good, or how can it be perverted and used for evil? Bring your answer to class. |
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My Dad wrote me a letter, one of the very few he ever wrote, just before I got married. It was the usual fatherly advice to a son for just such an occasion. The bit I remember most is his advice, "Don't try to change Carmel. Adapt your own way of life." It is probably the most useful thing he ever said to me. Fifty years later I am still adapting.
I have heard people say that they have never had a disagreement with their spouse, and I am pretty sure that they are either lying or they are married to an automaton. Carmel and I have had our disagreements and sometimes adapting has been hard. One of the hardest adaptations has been our retirement. After 43 years of working, we both retired and we suddenly found ourselves in one another's company every day. When you are working you are apart for 8-10 hours every day and essentially you are only together for a few minutes in the morning and a few hours at night most days. In retirement, it is 24/7 with one another and that has a big impact on your independence. We have worked through most of that issue so that we both have our independence but also have our "together time". I go bird watching and she is learning to play the ukelele (Carmel is very good at ukelele playing after learning for one year.)
Contentions only become contentions when they are not understood or resolved, or when one partner wants their own way all the time. It does take open communication and a genuine desire to work through the issues to ensure that you don't end up wishing you lived in the trees.
Relationships are not always easy. Most of the problems may appear because of a self ignorance. Although we are social beings, we also need to learn how to be satisfied alone. Thank God for all the different people we are. It'd definetely be boring if we were all alike. We need to learn to respect ourselves first, for real, then we will give the right respect others deserve. A good relationship starts with good thoughts within a single mind!
About sense of humor? It makes life easier! Specially with all this crazy reality the world has become. To have comfort in the HOPE of Jesus makes us happy too!
Wondering about author's connotation of "merry heart"; for me, this phrase means to be positive, grateful, thankful. Paul's comment in Philippians 4:11 comes to mind.
This lesson reminds me of what my husband says whenever we argue, "How is that related to this issue?" And almost always, it fires me up how he can't see the connection in between issues. Yet I've also had this to learn: Communication in families isn't an automatic machine. We often have to decide what to communicate and how we will communicate it. I think that's what brings a better life that doesn't involve on person being on a rooftop. A merry heart doesn't just appear out of the blue and grace your home, the family decides to be merry and keeps deciding everyday, even in disagreements, the goal will be to quickly go back to the happy state of life. And God will help us if that's our goal because He wants that for us too.