Calling or Texting When a Loved one Dies
A few years ago, when a friend of mine lost her mother, she would text me. I tried to call, to be more personable, but it seemed right after the loss, all she wanted to do was text. After the loss of my mother last June, I get it now.
- Immediately after the death of a loved one, there are many arrangements to be made. You are very busy and physically and emotionally drained. It is easier to text someone while in a conference with the funeral home director than it is to take a phone call.
- It is easier to text and cry at the same time than it is to talk and cry at the same time. I am not embarrassed to cry over the phone. That is not the point. It is just that crying and talking at the same time is not as effective as texting and crying at the same time.
Speaking of talking and crying at the same time, there were a few times I would be talking to some friends in person and would start to get choked up. Some of my friends would patiently wait for me to proceed, while some others would say, “Sorry! We don’t have to talk about it. we can talk about something different.”
Well, I did want to talk about it. Just because I was choked up didn’t mean I did not want to talk. Either way, I know they were doing their best to make me comfortable, but when they tried to change the subject or say, “We don’t have to talk about it,” it made me feel like I was making them uncomfortable. - Right after the death of a loved one, you have a lot to process emotionally. You want to be in contact with those you love and you need their support. Texting on your time table allows you to be more in control of the process instead of answering the phone whenever it rings.
Those are my feelings, but they may not be your feelings. As we study the book of Job, we all are striving to become better comforters than the ones poor Job had. Please comment below and let me know how you feel about reaching out via text or email, compared to actually speaking to someone who is grieving.
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