An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.. Proverbs 27:5-6 NLT
When I was about 9 or so I was playing soccer (football to most of the world) with my neighbor. We had an argument about what the out-of-bounds markers were. It must have gotten a little out of hand, because my neighbor’s father came over and started lecturing us about sportsmanship. He was quite stern. So stern, I started thinking to myself, he’s not my dad! He can’t talk to me like that! Who does he think he is?
Later I read where Jesus said in Revelation 3:19 NLT
I correct and discipline everyone I love.
I realized how my neighbor’s father always made me feel like family. I was always over at their house watching soccer games with them on TV. They took me to the lake and to the park. I was family! I realized my friend’s dad had a right to rebuke and lecture me because he cared about me!
They say rules without relationship leads to rebellion. Having rules and relationships make us feel loved and wanted. Years ago I went with the church youth group to a baseball game. The game went into extra innings. This was just before everyone and their dog had a cell phone, so I had the teens use pay phones to call and let their parents know the game was going into extra innings and we would be back later. After several kids completed their calls, a girl called her mother. She hung up and looked at the rest of the group with disappointment and hurt. It wasn’t that her mom was upset her daughter would be home late. The girl said, “My mom just chewed me out for waking her up.” The other kids looked at each other puzzled. Who chews their kid out for offering accountability?
While none of the kids were rebuked or disciplined for the game going into extra innings, they were still offering accountability and recognizing boundaries in their relationship with their parents. I think the girl who got chewed out for waking her mother up would rather have been rebuked for being out too late. At least then she would have known her mother cared!
With loving relationships come rules, boundaries and accountability, which make us feel safe, secure and loved.