Relationships: Life Changing or Time Wasting?

In her post, Life-Changing or Time Wasting, Lillianne Lopez cites that only 31% of Americans believe the Bible is inspired. Why do you think that is? I received a clue while I enjoyed reading Lillianne’s post.

Image © Sally Weimer from

Image © Sally Weimer from

A lady friend of mine instant-messaged me, saying she was frustrated with the singles websites, because the men contacting her were only after one thing – sex. She was disappointed she could not find anyone interested in a genuine relationship. I am sure they are out there. God has wonderful people all over the world. Still the question crossed my mind, is that why so many people don’t accept the Bible? Because, like the men contacting my lady friend, 69% of Americans are just looking for ways to gratify themselves instead of giving what it takes to make a meaningful relationship?

The Bible does not do much for the pleasure seeker.

Then he [Jesus] said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23 NLT

The Bible does not do much for human pride.

 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. Romans 7:18 NLT

The Bible does not do much for those wanting to be in the elite social circles.

You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers. Matthew 24:9 NLT

Hence, the temptation – since the Bible does not tickle our fancy we cast it aside as uninspired and navigate towards those who flatter our pride and cater to our whims. We flatter those who flatter us, calling them inspired and profound, while they flatter us by assuring us we are on the right track, or as Jesus puts it, the blind leading the blind. Many mega and not so mega churches have dropped teachings about self-denial and commandment keeping from their teachings because they have learned they are just not good marketing tools. Some call this being “progressive,” while their strategy is really nothing new. It was used by the apostate church way back in the Dark Ages.

Little by little, at first in stealth and silence, and then more openly as it increased in strength and gained control of the minds of men, “the mystery of iniquity” carried forward its deceptive and blasphemous work. Almost imperceptibly the customs of heathenism found their way into the Christian church. The spirit of compromise and conformity was restrained for a time by the fierce persecutions which the church endured under paganism. But as persecution ceased, and Christianity entered the courts and palaces of kings, she laid aside the humble simplicity of Christ and His apostles for the pomp and pride of pagan priests and rulers; and in place of the requirements of God, she substituted human theories and traditions. The nominal conversion of Constantine, in the early part of the fourth century, caused great rejoicing; and the world, cloaked with a form of righteousness, walked into the church. Now the work of corruption rapidly progressed. Paganism, while appearing to be vanquished, became the conqueror. Her spirit controlled the church. Her doctrines, ceremonies, and superstitions were incorporated into the faith and worship of the professed followers of Christ.  -Ellen White, Great Controversy, Page 49

What a clever marketing scheme! It really made the church grow by leaps and bounds. By worldly standards it was brilliant. Yet we cannot gauge the success of the church or our personal lives by worldly standards. I don’t think I told you earlier, that it was Christian websites and – may I dare say it – Adventist Singles websites my friend was visiting while everyone was trying to get with her for their own sexual gratification instead of a meaningful relationship with her.

God would be better pleased to have six truly converted to the truth as the result of their labors, than to have sixty make a nominal profession, and yet not be thoroughly converted. Ellen White, Evangelism page 320

See friends, God is a lot like my lady friend. He is looking for meaningful relationships, instead of a multitude of people seeking their own gratification. While I am happy being single, I think I could also be happy married. Meanwhile I have my family, friends, church and people in all my study groups to keep me so busy I don’t have time to be lonely. (I didn’t even tell anybody that last Thursday, on my day off, I actually sneaked down to the Florida Everglades for some alone time!) Meanwhile I meet single people who are lonely. They are not seeking sexual gratification. They are seeking meaningful relationships. One told me, “I know they say marriage takes a 50-50 effort on both sides to make it work, but I would be willing to give 90 and only take 10 if I could just share my life with someone.” My heart broke with sympathy when I heard that. I knew they were telling the truth.

Friends, if you are looking for self-gratification I can see why you would toss the Bible aside. Yet if you are looking for a meaningful relationship, let me share with you Someone who has already given, not 90% but 100%.

Since he [The Father] did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Romans 8:23 NLT

Are you still hesitant because of the verses I shared with you earlier?

But what do we give up, when we give all? A sin-polluted heart, for Jesus to purify, to cleanse by His own blood, and to save by His matchless love. And yet men think it hard to give up all! I am ashamed to hear it spoken of, ashamed to write it.

God does not require us to give up anything that it is for our best interest to retain. In all that He does, He has the well-being of His children in view. Would that all who have not chosen Christ might realize that He has something vastly better to offer them than they are seeking for themselves. Man is doing the greatest injury and injustice to his own soul when he thinks and acts contrary to the will of God. No real joy can be found in the path forbidden by Him who knows what is best and who plans for the good of His creatures. The path of transgression is the path of misery and destruction.  -Ellen White, Steps to Christ, Page 46

To all those who are looking for something beyond superficial self-gratifying relationships offered by the world, and would like a more meaningful and deeper relationship, may I introduce to you Someone Who is willing to give 100% to have a real relationship with you? May I introduce to you a God who loves you more than life itself? He has written a very eloquent and inspired love letter for you called the Bible. If you appreciate real love instead of superficial self-gratification, I know you will agree it is inspired.



Relationships: Life Changing or Time Wasting? — 8 Comments

  1. Dear William,

    Thank you for your Holy Spirit inspired post. It reminds me of the night Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane where He prayed to His Father, (Matthew 26:36, 39-42), His commitment to His Father and the Father acceptance of His Son's ultimate death on the Cross, to provide Eternal Life for us! His was a 100% demonstration of Faith in His Father that we in return, with the Holy Spirit leading us, must choose to reciprocate. Nothing short of 100% on our part is good enough and only made possible if we give wholly of ourselves to Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, for His will to be done.

  2. We live in a society that vilifies singleness. This attack on singleness is spearheaded by the enemy. Hollywood has already programmed young people and young adults and even the older adults with the feeling of loneliness if they’re not “dating” or playing boyfriend/girlfriend recreationally with no plan of marriage. This is why I avoid watching movies and TV. BTW, the dating websites make the whole process easy for the enemy. At the end of the day, a man must be content to lead his life happily in communion with His God. Keep in mind, it’s not our first parent, Adam, who said, “it’s not good for me to be by myself.” God said that. Adam was enjoying life to the fullest and didn’t even know or feel he was alone until God mentioned it. That’s what’s missing from today’s generation. We feel like we "need" someone to be "complete."

    BTW, a person is not ready for a relationship if he says to himself, “he's willing to marry to someone who only gives 10% back while he gives 90%.” This kind of statement undermines our self-worth and the enemy can use that to drive us away from the love of God. I mean, a man must accept and value himself unconditionally (married or single) instead of settling down with someone who only gives 10% back. If you want a 10% girl or man, the devil can arrange the meeting happily. Let's not make wrong choices out of desperation and blame God for our unhappiness later in life. It's Oscar Wild who once said, “it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not defined by another person."

  3. Sex is a part of health relation with the oppsite sex .That was the Lord way of gradifiing the union of male and female. untill recently none of us would be here with out it . Only Jesus.But if one choose to be a nun thats a personal choice.But there is two other type of Love.When we have that also then I believe we have Christ and His charter which Paul call Charity.1COR13:1-13

  4. Jesus endured the cross for the joy set before him(Hebrews 12:2) I'm the joy set before him. To see us all, his brethren, in heaven is the joy set before him. For God so loved the world!

  5. I must say that I love this topic in particular-very much. It has always saddened my heart to see the perspective my fellow youth have taken in respect to love and relationship. It has grieved me a great deal seeing the youth claiming to be christians getting unnecessarilly excited when it comes to this. May the revival we are yearning for kill the spirit of self gratification burning in us; youths. Remember we are strong and the spirit of God dwells in us.

  6. Dear William,
    your messages always makes me feel poor and wretched spiritually. I pray that GOD in HIS infinite mercies, forgive me my trespasses and prosper you (William) and your work of edifying THE BODY OF CHRIST our SAVIOR.

  7. William,
    Your contribution is truly thought-provoking and gives me courage in my complicated relationships. Being single and satisfied is an art and not a science. Thanks


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