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Bible Cures for Narcissism — 175 Comments

  1. I'm in a narcissistic relationship and have been for ten years. When we were married, in the early years, I had absolutely no idea that there was any manipulation or negativity in our relationship. Everything was blissful and I thought that I was living a dream, fairy tale. I did not realize it then, but we were living in pretty much isolation, I just didn't know it. When we were married, we lived in a small apartment, where we did t know too many people and our social experiences outside of being with each other were infrequent. My husband had very bad self-esteem and would often be afraid to rise to challenges, even when it was easy to see that he had more than an ability to complete the life goals he wanted to achieve. He had wanted to join the military, but told me his previous test scores were too low and that he just couldn't do it. I was dumfounded. One of the initial attractions for me to him was his wittiness. I encouraged him to take some time to study, reassured him that I would be there to help and support him and that he could do this. He tolde he had been in special ed for most of primary school. He said he remembered often how his family would say things to him,like you're not college material like your brother. I could see the hurt when he described this to me and I shuddered at how anyone's family could make them feel this way or say such hurtful things. He said he had all but given up on getting out of high school, but that he had talked girls in his class into doing his work for him and had passed his senior courses barely (first major red flag- blaming others for personal lack of effort, manipulation of others to do his work and now with me, though I was a long way from seeing it, garnering sympathy and establishing an aliby for a future of repeated intolerable behavior, which I still tolerate, because somewhere in there and everyone in a relationship with a narcissist probably relates to this, is this very lost little child, who feels unloved, is crying our for help and for mercy and is trapped in a cage of past trauma and degradation. When they meet someone who may be equally as emotionally weak, or at least seemingly so, an empath, they feel so loved and also safe, I think. Often empaths are not really looking for any negative in people and are charectarized by seeing the good in people and focusing on that leaving other negative character traits unnoticed. After 10 years if marriage I am realizing now that so many times I was so very naive. I believed so many lies and have been emotionally attacked. My husband would call me things like controlling and say that my life goal was to make him miserable. He would tell his family that I didn't want him to have fun when we'd visit his relatives in Dallas, because I'd protest to him going out drinking with his younger single cousins. What they didn't see or know is that he would come back mean and critical. He'd say things to me that would make me feel guilty for asking to be treated like a human being. The first physical abuse started out as very small sexual assaults, things that could pass as a misunderstanding or as a doting partner who couldn't resist being with you. So things like taking advantage of you, while you were sleeping, for instance seemed normal, because he explained his way out of insane behavior. I woke up to him having sex with me one time and was crying, I don't know if I was dreaming of being raped or what, but I was crying for him to stop and he kept going. I remember feeling scared and embarrassed, but he said he'd shook me and asked and is said yes and was reciprocating so he didn't know u was still sleeping. We were newly Weds and we had a very active sex life and I did very much want that with him. I repeatedly said no to being sodomized but he ignored what I was saying and took small liberties until I basically laid emotionless face down in a pillow and allowed him this small concession, even though he made no effort not to hurt me physically doing this. I became very depressed, and blamed myself for so many of our marital issues. I still do with frequency, because a narcissist,purposefully or not is skillfully at the execution of the gradual erosion of a person's life light. I remember being this fearless girl ready to take on the world and jump in with no reservations, and now every word I say in his presence I can hear and feel inside me a resounding tremble. I'm terrified, though I've become able to cope, because I can now turn on this numbness, where even the most brutal attacks physically, sexually and mentally are absorbed. The numbness doesn't last and the feeling of terror settles in ontop of the numbness like a cool compression that ensnares and paralyzes. Nothing is off limits. If you attempt to run once, they manage to talk you into staying with a promise of changing that seems so sincere somehow your severed hearted us mended and your hope restored. Thus far, for me, this has always been the beginning of an even further dwindling of your spirit of your will to fight for change. And then randomly another period of calm happens quickly and this time you didn't prid for this to happen and now you are back to the beginning all in, because through all the terror and fear you've been wanting this man to feel loved by you. And the stronger the attack on you he wages, it seems the more persistent your own pursuit of his happiness becomes even at the expense if your very survival, because at times I know I was moments away from something horrible happening, and that the Lord's provision for me is what has sustained my life. During this unprovoked calm and season of reflection and change on the part of your narc, you really buy in and feel delivered from chains. Then with almost no warning the narc is gone. When you'd retreated paralyzed by anguish, you were no longer filling the narcs void. Your unresponaiveness and submission were neither pleasurable nor fulfilling. Instead of leaving then at time when you'd feel freed, they could never do that, because the evidence of their behavior is to apparent in your demeanor. Your narc feels betrayed by you. Unable to empathize with your trauma, they have concocted their own reasoning for your apparent lack of passion or resistance.In their minds your lack primal sexuality and aggressive desire indicates betrayal or infidelity. Their ego doesn't recognize the traumatic effects of their behavior on you. Prepare for an onslaught of accusations against you. For me I was accused of havi g numerous affairs, held hostage for three days inside of an 18 wheeler, sexually, physically and mentally abused. I learned that on top of the narcisim mine had been abusing meth, having multiple affairs with women in the local areas and strippers across the western us. Then comes the forced drugging and a heavy layer of blame and guilt for you. Friends and family closer to the narc will quickly but into their accusations because they've been subtly laying down a cover in case you pointed a finger in their direction. It's strange though. They seem to ferverantly and unshakably buy in to their own delusions and somehow, with the web they've weaved around your spirit even having you question your motive and sanity. After all, a few short months ago we were living a fairy tale. Somehow I talked my way out of that truck and talked him into getting help I thought, and then he assassinated my attempt at aelf-worth of any kind.the day following our return, he attempted suicide by hanging where I broke into our house and stopped. I felt reapinsible, guilty and so desired to help his recovery. He went to a mental health rehab and was diagnosed with severe depression and I absorbed most of the blame for that duagnosis,for his addiction and future rehab attempt. It's all failed and I'm still here and am wondering if it is possible to help him ever. I do not know why I feel compelled to help him. And yet there is still this desire. it haunts me.

    Amen!(1)
    • Please run. Trust me, it is all in vain. You can't help him even if you tried million times. Save your self and have a new life before it is too late

      Amen!(6)

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