Home » Friday: Further Thought ~ Finding Rest in Family Ties    

Comments

Friday: Further Thought ~ Finding Rest in Family Ties — 15 Comments

  1. This week’s lesson started with the dysfunction of Jacob’s family. Four mothers a dozen sons and a daughter, They were deceivers, murderers, selfish and appeared to lack the sense of morality that one would expect from those who professed to follow God. Mind you, Jacob was no paragon of virtue. Jacob means “supplanter” and is perhaps a reference to the sibling rivalry where he seized the birthright from his brother Esau through collusion with his mother and downright deceit. So the sons of Jacob inherited some of their father’s propensity for conflict.

    I am surprised that the authors did not wind forward to the time when Joseph met his brothers again and played some mind games to determine whether anything had changed over the intervening years. When Joseph saw his brothers again, he played mind games with them to test whether they had learned anything in the intervening years. Judah’s speech in Genesis 44 shows a very different Judah to the young Judah who had taken an active role in selling Joseph into slavery.

    There is a message of redemptive restoration rising out of the mess that they had made of their lives.

    If there is one lesson that we should learn from this is that dysfunctionality should not necessarily define us. During my lifetime, I have seen the adulterer forgiven; the pregnant wayward daughter cared for by family and the child, when born, loved, and accepted; the authority defying teenager responding to the patient love of Christian parents; churches who open their compassionate arms to sinners, providing support and encouragement as they grow and develop.

    True, not every story has a happy ending, and all too often there are scars that sometimes take generations to heal. However, it is heart-warming to see Christian love in action as we attempt to find rest in our family ties with God’s help.

    (28)
    • This week was about Joseph's journey without his brothers, next week he meets up with them and the saga continues.
      This week we see how Joseph deals with his immediate circle, his first circle is his adoring mother and father, then his mother dies and once he is old enough to venture away from his father's side his circle is his older jealous impetuous step brothers and he is thrown into a pit.
      Then he is sold as a slave to work for Potiphar, thus his circle is his work - boss and employees.
      Next he is unjustly thrown into prison where his circle is lawbreakers or those fallen into disfavour.
      No matter who was in his immediate circle and whether he was fairly treated or not Joseph maintained his integrity and trust in the LORD to work out the plan for his life.

      (21)
  2. I’m so glad that God included this story from beginning to it’s end in the Bible. Family connections and relationships aren’t always encouraging and supportive. In Joseph’s case he was the favored son. Even though many of us aren’t favored or even valued by parents or other family members, we can identify with some of the things that happened to Joseph in the process of maturing in Christ.

    In His wisdom God allowed the story to include not only the positive that came at the end of Joseph’s situation but He included the redemption seen in the change of hearts in his brothers when they didn’t know they were in his presence years later.

    For those who are in difficult family relationships, this story is full of hope. We may not be able to see it, but if we allow ourselves to turn our trust from individual family members to Christ, He will take care of the things we can’t in time. The greatest benefit we receive is being part of the transformation that may take place in the most difficult members of our family because we lean on Christ as our helper.

    (17)
  3. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it Prov 22:6.

    'He despised that ingratitude which would lead him to abuse his master’s confidence, although his master might never learn the fact.” — Ellen G. White, The Spirit of Prophecy, vol. 1, p. 132.

    I liked that sentence at the end of the week. The king trusted Joseph so much with every thing, he entrusted all his business into his hands. Everything, yes, everything except his wife. He kept that for himself. Does that sounds like Daniel when he was entrusted with the King's affairs? Bible says Daniel purposed in his heart not to defile himself with the King's meat. Did Joseph also purposed in his heart as a child/youth not to become entangled with sin? How often are we trusted by others and entrusted with their things but constantly mess up? How often some people take advantage of others who trusted us? Those relationships can go deadly, but Joseph endeavor to serve the Holy One and not to turn to the left or to the right. Every thing is open before a Holy Father. In this instance child training worked. Despite the circumstances, Joseph was true to his Heavenly Father.
    Are we willing to be obedience to our Heavenly Father so he can entrust us with higher task to take the message forward?
    Can our spouses trust us for those who are not so aged? Can out boss trust us or are there cameras set up waiting to take us out for wrong doings? Are we dabbling in places or things we should not?

    (9)
  4. Romans 8:28 keeps ringing in my mind. Is this another example of just that? Mentally what Joseph thought I do not know. But, I wonder if as he went through all these dreadful experiences, that as he matured, his thoughts went from why is this happening to me to what is God trying to teach me through this. 1 Corinthians 10:13 also comes to mind. Many would see Joseph getting falsely tossed into prison for something he didn't do as a bad thing. (self included) In actuality was getting tossed into prison God's way of escape as E.G.W. said "How fierce was the assault upon Joseph’s morals. It came from one of influence, the most likely to lead astray." Obviously Joseph matured greatly through the process. And as Shirley Debeer said, next week we will see his brothers maturation process. So I have to ask myself and others, as we traverse our own sold by your brothers as a slave, Potiphar's wife and prison experiences are we asking, why me or are we asking what is God trying to teach or prepare me for?

    (7)
  5. 1. "What would be your counsel, based on biblical principles, to your new church member?"
    Could we improve upon the counsel of Prov 3:1-8, or Matt 11:28-30? Our "counsel" should always magnify the Lord, and lead others to Him through His word.

    2. "How can each one of us...bring some healing to our family relationships?"
    We can each take up Jesus' offer to be yoked together with Him by faith.

    3. Even when tragedy comes to us, God is able to sustain all who trust in Him and walk in His ways, regardless of the grief they may experience. Perfect peace is real for all who's mind is stayed upon the Lord through His “exceeding great and precious promises”.

    (6)
  6. Sister X has just joined the church. She is married to a non-believer. She loves her husband, but he doesn’t love the changes he sees in her. What would be your counsel, based on biblical principles, to your new church member?

    Would Paul's advice be suitable?
    1Co 7:12-16 MKJV  But to the rest I speak, not the Lord, If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is pleased to dwell with him, do not let him put her away.  (13)  And the woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is pleased to dwell with her, do not let her leave him.  (14)  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; else your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.  (15)  But if the unbelieving one separates, let him be separated. A brother or a sister is not in bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.  (16)  For what do you know, O wife, whether you shall save your husband? Or what do you know, O man, whether you shall save your wife?
    Or these from Peter:
    1Pe 3:1-2 MKJV  Likewise, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, so that if any do not obey the Word, they may also be won without the Word by the conduct of the wives,  (2)  having witnessed your chaste behavior in the fear of God.

    (4)
  7. Finding Rest in Family Ties is possible as we follow the principles Jesus has outlined for relationships. Relationship which is God's concern for us is based on love which is reflected in the Ten Commandments, the ten perfect codes. Paul says : Love worketh no ill to his neighbor : therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. Romans 13 :10. This same Paul reiterates the importance of love in 1 Corinthians 13 : 1- 8. And according to him love is a tree that has 16 branches, you might like to read it for yourself.

    Now I would like to touch on the Discussion Questions for today.

    1. The difference between " cultural " Adventists and true believers is that cultural Adventists relates to the norms, customs, races etc. though being cultural is not sin in itself but when it does away with the law of God it becomes sin. True believers are in every Church and they are members who follow the truths they have been taught whom God gradually leads to the full truth if they would continue to hearken to His voice. However, in the context of this week's lesson as relates to Joseph, true believers are those who have the faith of Jesus and keep the Commandments of God.

    2. Relative to Sister X who has joined the Church whose husband is not a believer but she loves her husband but her husband doesn't love the changes he sees in her, this is what Paul says : And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not , and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him . For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband : else were your children unclean ; but now are they clean. But if the unbelieving depart , let him depart. A brother or a Sister is not under bondage in such cases : but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife , whether thou shalt save thy husband ? or how knowest thou, O man , whether thou shalt save thy wife? 1 Corinthians 7 : 13 - 16.

    3. When we commit ourselves fully to God and allow Him to be the Center of the family dysfunction will become function.

    4. Here, the experience of Job comes into play, he was a man who was very rich yet he was perfect, upright, and feared God and eschewed evil. The tragedy that hit him and his family is there for each family to learn. When he waited on God , everything he lost was restored to him. The Bible says : So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning : for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses. He had also seven sons and three daughters. And in all the land were no women found so fair as the daughters of Job : and their father gave them inheritance among their brethren. After this lived Job an hundred and forty years, and saw his sons , his sons' sons , even four generations. Job 42 : 12 - 13, 15, 16.
    God loves us and He is and He will be with us till the end of the world. Let us continue to yield ourselves to Him.

    (2)
  8. Regarding the first question following the lesson: “cultural vs true believer” Adventist. I ask, by whose standards? I get it they are trying to get us the reach deeper in our own experience but I do not like the comparison at all. It is that kind of judgemental attitude that has driven many from our church. I’ll take the cultural Adventist in hopes that they meet God or another Adventist along the way and they find personal relationship with their Creator/Savior. My experience and relationship with God is unlike yours and vice versa. Each is unique as the individual we are. There is not one perfect relationship save Jesus Christ/ Father/ Spirit.

    (5)
    • I was interested to read your response as when I read that question - I had skipped over that q as 'difficult'. It does imply that kind of judgment where we compartmentalize people knowingly or unknowingly. For example, I've had 'church family' check my grocery cart when at the store! I can shrug that off for myself, and say a little prayer for self and them. But I do believe it means in a larger way that some church family are 'majoring in minors'. That kind of culture we can do without. The technicalities of what is in someone's grocery cart is not as important as the relationship between people - and if someone wont be my friend (or considers me lesser) because of it ... that's not helpful eh? So back to the q - who is the true believer? I expect that's up to God to judge.

      (2)
  9. This lesson has brought many important aspects of the Faith of Christ to the forefront. For me, the most important aspect of our faith is that it has the power to transform the life of the person who lives it. Joseph’s life is a perfect example to demonstrate what happens when we want to please our heavenly Father, instead of seeking to please man.

    It was a pleasure to once more be reminded how well laid-out the plans of our heavenly Father are. Christ Jesus’ faith-based religion is all about relationships, starting with forming a loving relationship with our heavenly Father, evidenced by our loving relationships formed with our fellow man. All our faith requires is that we live that which we believe in. If we desire to have a successful relationship with our Creator Father, we will need to live according to rules guiding the members of the household of God.

    Opinions, observations, comments to answer the questions:

    1. I do not know what a “cultural” Adventist is.
    2. Sister X has joined the church for a reason. Finding out the strength of her faith, reaching out to her husband and reassuring both of them that help is available to bridge any troubled waters.
    3. Each one of us, by God’s grace, has the capacity to love; ‘seeking to follow biblical principles’ are a matter of the will. If we say that we love God, the love for our family members is the perfect arena to practically demonstrate our love for Him.
    4. To be prepared spiritually: Gen.41:16-40KJV - Pharaoh's request to interpret his dream:
    v.16: ”And Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, It is not in me: God shall give Pharaoh an answer [or, applying to Pharaoh’s needs] of peace.
    v.25: ”And Joseph said unto Pharaoh, The dream of Pharaoh is one: God hath shewed Pharaoh what he is about to do.”

    Israel’s family story is the example why it is important to be prepared, spiritually, all the time!
    Joseph points out that his God is the source of Pharaoh’s dream. This sets the stage for everything that follows. Joseph’s reply does not end with the interpretation of the dream, he passes on the practical advice how to deal with the problem; this advice is provided by the Wisdom of the Lord imparted to Joseph.
    The communication takes place in an environment of caring, desiring to help carry each other’s burdens, but also with God’s greater plan to be worked out in the process. This is why it is so very important that we remain faithful to the Father, trusting in His providence and care under all circumstances.

    God’s foresight and wisdom are often only seen with our hindsight. In this example - We see God’s hand in Joseph’s ability to interpret dreams, Joseph's abduction, being given the position of trust in Potiphar’s house, in his resisting temptation and imprisonment, in his kindness toward his fellows, in his ability to communicate the response to the impending devastation and Pharaoh’s willingness to put him in charge.

    All these events are inspired by the Lord to prepare/secure a safe place in Egypt for the tribes of Jacob/Israel for the following 400 years until it was time for the next chapter to unfold; the possession of the promised land.
    The only constant in all these unfolding events is the loving relationship between Joseph and his God.

    (2)
  10. Re: cultural Adventist vs true believer - I was born and raised SDA, went to SDA schools grades 1 through college. I could recite the 10 commandments, 3 angels messages, knew the 27 or 28 doctrines but never knew God as a God of love. I was rigidly taught that my guardian angel was tracking my every move and recording it and unfortunately I never understood grace. When God is served out of fear and not love it is deceptive and dangerous. This site is such a blessing because here I find comments showing the principal of the law not just the letter.

    (3)
    • Thank you, Sharon, for that last sentence. That is the reason some of us are working hard behind the scenes to keep this site active.

      We believe God loves us enough to make it hard to be lost. When we look at the characters in the Bible, it should assure us that God looks at our hearts - He wants our hearts, and all else will follow, though we may not be perfect in our service.

      We hope you will continue to be with us and to contribute.

      (3)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HTML tags allowed in your comment: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>